Posted by: Kim
Disclaimer: My Baby Bro Ben is visiting and I kindly purchased him his beverage of choice in handle form, which is bourbon, of all things, and so now we're both drunk.
So, at this very moment I am watching the completely (and deservedly so, because it's awesome) acceptable-by-television-snobs Top Chef finale (Team Carla! Whoo dee whoo![?] What? She's toast. But I love her!) However, immediately preceding this very moment, I may or may not have been watching American Idol. Again. Ahem.
Now, when the first season of American Idol aired, I was studying abroad in London, and so I missed it entirely. As in I arrived back in the States, and in the summer of 2003 was driving around and heard Kelly Clarkson's 'A Moment Like This' and was all, "Um, what the hell is this crap?" (obvi I am now a fan, that song was her singular weak moment) and thus began my understanding.
However I never watched.
Until last week.
And then tonight.
BUT. I have had friends who consistently OMG ADORE OBSESSIVELY it. And they all have one thing in common: They HATE HATE HATE the musical theatre types, and LOOOOVE the 'edgy rocker' types that show up to compete. And then I proceed to hear David Cook on the radio and be like, "meh, 100% meh" and they are all, "BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR HIM SING 'HELLO!!!1!!11!!!!!!OMFG" and I'm all "so it IS glorified karaoke for hipsters who are too cool for musicals! A-HA!"
***** TIME OUT***** Hosea just won Top Chef. Um, snore. Aside from the time he made the crispy salmon rolls, I remember nothing. It should have been Stefan. Not that I like him. But he is better. Whatever.
Okay, back. Right, so, American Idol is no place for Broadway singers. Except ... it is a singing competition, yes? Well, I mean, it's also a beauty pageant, but, Broadway singers tend to be cutie pies, so. Anyway. All I'm saying is, enjoy musicals or not (and for the record, 90% of the time I do not -- ask Jen, we share a mutual issue with suspension of disbelief, and often -- exhibit A, Twilight 4 -- mine is even stronger than hers), Broadway-style singers tend to have the best voices.
AND OMG I HAVE A TOTAL CRUSH ON ADAM LAMBERT NOW WTF THANKS AMERICAN IDOL.
Like, the Pete Wentz look is not really my type (I mean, if the princess dress/pearl/J.Crew gushing and discussions of Nantucket and Chace Crawford hasn't yet given it away, I'm destined for matrimony with a stockbroker or perhaps a professional lacrosse player), and, I'll just throw it out there: despite the fact that "Wild Horses" unfailingly makes me cry in a good way every time I hear it, and I obviously like "Ruby Tuesday" because I'm human, I am not even that big of a Rolling Stones fan, so please don't quiz me on albums. BUT OMG. That was so fun! He was so great! His voice is fantastic! His flatironed hair is amazing!
AND THEN RANDY JACKSON TOOK IT TO THE TWILIGHT PLACE.
TWILIGHT RULES THE WORLD!
And, whilst Ryan compared him to Edward Cullen (what?), I would like to point out that Randy was comparing him to R.Pattz ... um, R. Patz? ... RPattz!zz! Robert Pattinson! Who, because maybe one other time or 17 while I was drunk I stalked a little, I know sings (I'm sure this is not news to anyone but me, so pick on something else and let me roll with it please, haters) -- BUT DOES RANDY KNOW THAT?! Seriously. Someone clarify. What was going on? Was he comparing Adam singing 'Satisfaction' to RPattz singing on the Twilight soundtrack? Cause I mean, they sounded nothing alike, aside from both awesome. Or was he talking about their mutual affection for strategically tousled hair?
DOES IT EVEN MATTER? NO. I loved this guy, and then Randy called him Edward. I mean R Pattz. I am clearly paraphrasing wherever the hell I see fit at this point. ANYWAY.
Sold. I have my American Idol. Call me, Adam. Let's go out. Or ... go shopping.
Oh, also, in addition to my new American Idol boyfriend (please, no one call me with examples of him singing the Jesus Christ Superstar score or something I have no interest in hearing, I DON'T CARE, LET ME HAVE MY FANTASY) I voted for the girl who sang 'Alone' and the girl who sang 'Bette Davis Eyes' simply because those are two of my karaoke signatures (Jen sang 'Alone' with me once, and she loved it. She can't deny.). Rock on, karaoke idols.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Jenny Humphrey! You're Making Me Nervous (Part 25)!
Posted by: Jen
Oh, sigh.
Jenny/Taylor! COME ON. You are 15, why do you insist on going out looking like a late twenty-something 80's punk rocker on the way to their third trip to rehab?! I mean, ok, it IS better than most of the 15 year old starlets out there these days, going out looking like 25 year old wanna-be sex machines (Miley, I'm looking at you) with their hair and their makeup and their grownup clothes and god I sound like my mother, but you are the only one out of all of them convincing me that a trip to the hospital for cocaine induced "exhaustion" is in your near future. Hey Jenny, remember GG season one? When you were cute and had shiny long hair and pants without holes? Yeah, that was last year, not 10 years ago. Sigh, I worry about you, and your Red Bull drinking ways.
Also, I am watching American Idol AGAIN (I really need cable. And TiVo. And I would watch endless What Not To Wear marathons and die happy) and let me tell you, I am an Adam fan tonight. When they interviewed him, I was like "AW awesome theater gay boy! Love!" and then wondered if the whole Clay Aiken debacle of the days of yore would happen again. You know, in which straight women convince themselves that the object of their desire is straight, coin a kicky nickname off of it (um, Claymates) and then three years later are ultimately embarrassed by their complete lack of gaydar. I actually knew a girl in high school who OMG LOVED LANCE BASS EEEEEE!!!1 and I don't talk to her anymore but I am sure she was a Claymate at some point. Oh yeah, and then, to further my argument, Randy said he had a "Steven Tyler, Fallout Boy, Robert Pattinson from Twilight" thing going for him, at which Adam immediately responded, "OMG, I love those books and movie!", which should clear up any and all misconceptions.
Anyway, he can totally sing! So, I voted for him and no one else because although I may be tone deaf, I didn't think any of the others were good and none of them had compelling back stories. Sigh. I just wish their were new episodes of GG and 90210 so I wouldn't have to watch this slightly amusing overgrown talent show.
Oh, sigh.
Jenny/Taylor! COME ON. You are 15, why do you insist on going out looking like a late twenty-something 80's punk rocker on the way to their third trip to rehab?! I mean, ok, it IS better than most of the 15 year old starlets out there these days, going out looking like 25 year old wanna-be sex machines (Miley, I'm looking at you) with their hair and their makeup and their grownup clothes and god I sound like my mother, but you are the only one out of all of them convincing me that a trip to the hospital for cocaine induced "exhaustion" is in your near future. Hey Jenny, remember GG season one? When you were cute and had shiny long hair and pants without holes? Yeah, that was last year, not 10 years ago. Sigh, I worry about you, and your Red Bull drinking ways.Also, I am watching American Idol AGAIN (I really need cable. And TiVo. And I would watch endless What Not To Wear marathons and die happy) and let me tell you, I am an Adam fan tonight. When they interviewed him, I was like "AW awesome theater gay boy! Love!" and then wondered if the whole Clay Aiken debacle of the days of yore would happen again. You know, in which straight women convince themselves that the object of their desire is straight, coin a kicky nickname off of it (um, Claymates) and then three years later are ultimately embarrassed by their complete lack of gaydar. I actually knew a girl in high school who OMG LOVED LANCE BASS EEEEEE!!!1 and I don't talk to her anymore but I am sure she was a Claymate at some point. Oh yeah, and then, to further my argument, Randy said he had a "Steven Tyler, Fallout Boy, Robert Pattinson from Twilight" thing going for him, at which Adam immediately responded, "OMG, I love those books and movie!", which should clear up any and all misconceptions.
Anyway, he can totally sing! So, I voted for him and no one else because although I may be tone deaf, I didn't think any of the others were good and none of them had compelling back stories. Sigh. I just wish their were new episodes of GG and 90210 so I wouldn't have to watch this slightly amusing overgrown talent show.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Edward Cullen Goes To The Oscars
Posted by: Jen
So this weekend I was indisposed and confined to my bed, sipping chocolate and delicately coughing into a handkerchief while eschewing visits from various suitors, so I had to watch the Oscars because I don't have cable. I, like Kim, usually hate awards shows but found Hugh Jackman and his crazy dance numbers to be thoroughly entertaining. I also drooled over the dresses. And for once, I had SEEN most of the movies that were being mentioned, so I actually felt more involved in the show. This is what people who like sports must feel like when they watch their team play!
Now, while I loved Slumdog and Dev and Freida and I am so happy they won, like, everything, I do think Benjamin Button got shafted because seriously, seriously, that movie made me cry straight through. For three hours. So I think it should have gotten something, because even though Brad is a little annoying now because he's all perfect with Angelena and like, saving the world and not working on his abs, he did do a REALLY good job and I must say I am a fan. Actually, if they had just given Best Supporting Actress to Taraji Henson I think I would have been satisfied, because she also did a REALLY good job and it would have recognized the movie without taking away any of the awesomeness of Slumdog.
Ok, now on to the important things. Apparently, Robert Pattinson thought that he had to dress IN CHARACTER to go to the Oscars:
I kid, I kid. However, boy could use a trip to St. Tropez after spending all winter in London. You know what guys? I think R. Patz (thanks anon poster), is suffering from the Chuck Bass Syndrome -- you know, the one that Ed Westwick is afflicted by -- in which an actor portraying a certain character begins to believe they are actually the character. Seriously guys, R. Patz is about three seconds away from smearing glitter all over himself, I swear.
Next, although Kim somehow managed to miss this in her all encompasing Oscar Dress roundup, this, ladies and gentlemen, is my favorite dress of the night and exactly what I would wear to the Oscars if I were invited (Edward Cullen, call me):
YES! Leslie Mann! Well played my dear, well played! Of course you would wear a flowing, perfectly cut disco ball gown to the Oscars, it only makes sense! I love it so much. WIN!
So this weekend I was indisposed and confined to my bed, sipping chocolate and delicately coughing into a handkerchief while eschewing visits from various suitors, so I had to watch the Oscars because I don't have cable. I, like Kim, usually hate awards shows but found Hugh Jackman and his crazy dance numbers to be thoroughly entertaining. I also drooled over the dresses. And for once, I had SEEN most of the movies that were being mentioned, so I actually felt more involved in the show. This is what people who like sports must feel like when they watch their team play!
Now, while I loved Slumdog and Dev and Freida and I am so happy they won, like, everything, I do think Benjamin Button got shafted because seriously, seriously, that movie made me cry straight through. For three hours. So I think it should have gotten something, because even though Brad is a little annoying now because he's all perfect with Angelena and like, saving the world and not working on his abs, he did do a REALLY good job and I must say I am a fan. Actually, if they had just given Best Supporting Actress to Taraji Henson I think I would have been satisfied, because she also did a REALLY good job and it would have recognized the movie without taking away any of the awesomeness of Slumdog.
Ok, now on to the important things. Apparently, Robert Pattinson thought that he had to dress IN CHARACTER to go to the Oscars:
I kid, I kid. However, boy could use a trip to St. Tropez after spending all winter in London. You know what guys? I think R. Patz (thanks anon poster), is suffering from the Chuck Bass Syndrome -- you know, the one that Ed Westwick is afflicted by -- in which an actor portraying a certain character begins to believe they are actually the character. Seriously guys, R. Patz is about three seconds away from smearing glitter all over himself, I swear.Next, although Kim somehow managed to miss this in her all encompasing Oscar Dress roundup, this, ladies and gentlemen, is my favorite dress of the night and exactly what I would wear to the Oscars if I were invited (Edward Cullen, call me):
YES! Leslie Mann! Well played my dear, well played! Of course you would wear a flowing, perfectly cut disco ball gown to the Oscars, it only makes sense! I love it so much. WIN!
Monday, February 23, 2009
I made a 2009 Oscar Dress Yearbook. Enjoy.
Posted by: Kim
So, the Oscars were last night. I did not watch (cue the shock and awe, I'm sure). I did hear some crap about how some of the celebrities were asked/chose not to walk the red carpet to boost ratings of the telecast, to which I give a big WTF on behalf of photographers, and, especially, designers.
I mean, hi. If Prada dresses Jessica Biel, famous of late for, you know, dating Justin Timberlake, in an obscenely expensive set of table linens, then I'm sure Prada would like the world to be able to see her stand around and give little fluff interviews in it for a while. Seriously.
While arguing about this with a woman at work, I was informed that the Oscars should in fact be more revered by television viewers because "you watch the World Series, right? Same thing!" I obviously proceeded to laugh for about 20 minutes at this analogy, because wtf ever. Watching the top two teams of the season play off against each other is infinitely different than watching actors, as themselves, sit and look at a stage. Though I did hear apparently Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron brought musicals back or some such business. Still not intrigued.
Anyway, I looked up the dresses today. It would appear the predominant theme was 'Wedding Dresses,' 'Princess' or simply, 'White' or lastly, 'Blue.' This resulted in both wins and fails a plenty. Onward for my superlatives, including a parenthetical Win or Fail as I'm sure my ramblings are sometimes unclear. *Also as I edit this epic post, I realize it is also confusing that I put the superlatives above the photos instead of below. And now I am too sick of doing this to fix it. Apologies. I think you'll figure it out though.
Most Likely To Garner Praise For Not Being Black, Which Until Now We Are Pretty Sure Was The Only Color She Was Aware Even Existed: Jennifer Aniston in ... I do not know. Someone tell me? (Overall ... um ... pass. No, win. For being so cute with John Mayer. No, wait ... I don't think I really like it. Uh. NEUTRAL.)
Most Likely To Have Made Me Scream WANT WANT WANT Had I Actually Watched The Show: Marion Cotillard, also in Designer Unknown But I Would Be Really Happy To Find Out (WIN. Come on, it's like a never-appropriate-for-any-event-except-princessing dream dress created in HEAVEN, hi. I mean, unless you hate tulle ... which is entirely possible.
But it's my post, suck it.)
Most Likely To Star In My Most Recent Wedding Day Fantasies: Penelope Cruz in Balmain. Also, um, who? I must learn. (WIN)
Most Likely To Star In My Wedding Reception Dreams Momentarily IF I were One Of Those Women Who Would Ever Dare To Change Out Of Her Wedding Dress Early To Party While Dressed Half Like A Flapper and Half Like A Bedazzled Country Singer: Carrie Underwood, in I Didn't Even Bother To Check Who Made This, It's Just For Fun (WIN. Carry on, Carrie. I love you and your country sparkles.)
Most Likely To Be The Dress I Would Actually Wear If I Were Ever Invited To The Oscars, Because If I Wore Marion Cotillard's Jen Would Tease Me and Even Though It Would Be In Jest And Love, I Would Still Become Self-Conscious And Change: Angelina in Elie Saab and freaking awesome fun jewelry. (WIN, because even though it's kind of boring comparatively it's also pretty perfect, and, FUN JEWELRY OMG JAZZING IT UP. This is kind of how I roll.)
Most Likely To Be The Dress Everyone Swoons Over But Kim: Taraji Henson in Roberto Cavalli (NEUTRAL. I mean, it's fine. It fits her perfectly. It's simple and pretty. You'd think I would adore this. But I feel ... not much, really.)
Most Likely To Be The Tween Star in a Dress Better Than Miley's: Vanessa Hudgens, in Marchesa (WIN. She looks so pretty! I would look a fool in this, but it's awesome on her.)
Most Likely To ... Snore. Oh, sorry. Right, Boring. And Somehow Making Me Not Dig Black Lace, Something I Usually LOVE: Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent. (FAIL. So there, Kate. Except you yourself look stunning. Btw, congrats on the Oscar.)
Most Likely To Be Adored, Despite Being Kind of Terrible: Freida Pinto in John Galliano. (FAIL. That's right, I FAILED Freida! And Galliano! And yes, I love them both. And yes, I love Slumdog Millionnaire along with the rest of the world! And yes, that's a pretty color blue! And yes, I am still FAILING Freida despite having WINNED MILEY CYRUS A FEW DRESSES UP. But it's true. I don't like it. Pfft.)
So, the Oscars were last night. I did not watch (cue the shock and awe, I'm sure). I did hear some crap about how some of the celebrities were asked/chose not to walk the red carpet to boost ratings of the telecast, to which I give a big WTF on behalf of photographers, and, especially, designers.
I mean, hi. If Prada dresses Jessica Biel, famous of late for, you know, dating Justin Timberlake, in an obscenely expensive set of table linens, then I'm sure Prada would like the world to be able to see her stand around and give little fluff interviews in it for a while. Seriously.
While arguing about this with a woman at work, I was informed that the Oscars should in fact be more revered by television viewers because "you watch the World Series, right? Same thing!" I obviously proceeded to laugh for about 20 minutes at this analogy, because wtf ever. Watching the top two teams of the season play off against each other is infinitely different than watching actors, as themselves, sit and look at a stage. Though I did hear apparently Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron brought musicals back or some such business. Still not intrigued.
Anyway, I looked up the dresses today. It would appear the predominant theme was 'Wedding Dresses,' 'Princess' or simply, 'White' or lastly, 'Blue.' This resulted in both wins and fails a plenty. Onward for my superlatives, including a parenthetical Win or Fail as I'm sure my ramblings are sometimes unclear. *Also as I edit this epic post, I realize it is also confusing that I put the superlatives above the photos instead of below. And now I am too sick of doing this to fix it. Apologies. I think you'll figure it out though.
Most Likely To Be The Favorite (or at least Most Talked About Dress Amongst ... Everyone?: SJP in Dior Haute Couture (WIN. Duh, ball gown, princess,
you know I love it, XOXO)
you know I love it, XOXO)
Most Likely To Cause Internal Debate and Strife For Hours Do To Being ENTIRELY Angle-and-Lighting Dependent: Anne Hathaway, in very sparkly Armani Prive, amazing from this angle, other times too mermaid-y (overall, WIN)
Most Likely To Garner Praise For Not Being Black, Which Until Now We Are Pretty Sure Was The Only Color She Was Aware Even Existed: Jennifer Aniston in ... I do not know. Someone tell me? (Overall ... um ... pass. No, win. For being so cute with John Mayer. No, wait ... I don't think I really like it. Uh. NEUTRAL.)Most Likely To Have Made Me Scream WANT WANT WANT Had I Actually Watched The Show: Marion Cotillard, also in Designer Unknown But I Would Be Really Happy To Find Out (WIN. Come on, it's like a never-appropriate-for-any-event-except-princessing dream dress created in HEAVEN, hi. I mean, unless you hate tulle ... which is entirely possible.But it's my post, suck it.)
Most Likely To Star In My Most Recent Wedding Day Fantasies: Penelope Cruz in Balmain. Also, um, who? I must learn. (WIN)Most Likely To Star In My Wedding Reception Dreams Momentarily IF I were One Of Those Women Who Would Ever Dare To Change Out Of Her Wedding Dress Early To Party While Dressed Half Like A Flapper and Half Like A Bedazzled Country Singer: Carrie Underwood, in I Didn't Even Bother To Check Who Made This, It's Just For Fun (WIN. Carry on, Carrie. I love you and your country sparkles.)Most Likely To Be The Dress I Would Actually Wear If I Were Ever Invited To The Oscars, Because If I Wore Marion Cotillard's Jen Would Tease Me and Even Though It Would Be In Jest And Love, I Would Still Become Self-Conscious And Change: Angelina in Elie Saab and freaking awesome fun jewelry. (WIN, because even though it's kind of boring comparatively it's also pretty perfect, and, FUN JEWELRY OMG JAZZING IT UP. This is kind of how I roll.)Most Likely To Be The Dress Everyone Swoons Over But Kim: Taraji Henson in Roberto Cavalli (NEUTRAL. I mean, it's fine. It fits her perfectly. It's simple and pretty. You'd think I would adore this. But I feel ... not much, really.)Most Likely To Be The Tween Star in a Dress Better Than Miley's: Vanessa Hudgens, in Marchesa (WIN. She looks so pretty! I would look a fool in this, but it's awesome on her.)Most Likely To Draw Comparisons To A Mermaid Despite Being One Of the Few NOT Wearing A Mermaid Silhouette, Instead Opting For Three Of The Other Big Looks Of The Night, Which As We Discussed Were Princess, White And Blue: Miley Cyrus, in Somebody I Didn't Look Up. (WIN -bet you thought I was gonna fail her, eh? But actually, while at the gym I was staring at silent followup coverage of the show's fashion and this picture doesn't do it justice. I mean, it is kind of as ridiculous as it looks in this picture, but she also looked pretty great in it, if I'm being honest.)
Most Likely To Confound Me By Maybe Being Awesome But Also Being So Pepto But Maybe That Pink is Awesome Too?: Natalie Portman, in I Don't Know Who. (UNDECIDED. Leaning toward WIN.)
Most Likely To ... Snore. Oh, sorry. Right, Boring. And Somehow Making Me Not Dig Black Lace, Something I Usually LOVE: Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent. (FAIL. So there, Kate. Except you yourself look stunning. Btw, congrats on the Oscar.)Most Likely To Remind Me Of That Time Blair Waldorf Wore Valentino's Headband Version Of This Dress and It Was SO MUCH BETTER: Amanda Seyfriend, in Valentino Haute Couture. (FAIL. Um, ugh. Also, did she even get to try it on beforehand? Because I'm trusting it was not designed to look 45 sizes too big for her.)
Most Likely To Be Adored, Despite Being Kind of Terrible: Freida Pinto in John Galliano. (FAIL. That's right, I FAILED Freida! And Galliano! And yes, I love them both. And yes, I love Slumdog Millionnaire along with the rest of the world! And yes, that's a pretty color blue! And yes, I am still FAILING Freida despite having WINNED MILEY CYRUS A FEW DRESSES UP. But it's true. I don't like it. Pfft.)Most Likely To Double As Spider-Man's Prom Dress: Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera. (FAIL. Yes, despite the awesome color, and, you know, Carolina H. But I think the necklace has possibilities.)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Random American Idol Observation...
Posted by: Jen
So I was watching American Idol because as mentioned, I don't have cable, and because 90210 was a repeat (DAMN YOU! CW, wtf is this with all of these mid-season hiatuses? Even One Tree Hill was a repeat last night, gooddddddddd), and I noticed that upon reaching the Hollywood stage, the majority of the male contestants acquire a faux-hawk. What is this? What is the point? I mean, does it make the air around your head flow better, thus enhancing your voice? Combine that with the seemingly popular white button-down shirt enhanced with tribal/dragon design on the back (added points for down the sleeve) and you have quite the shit show. Sigh, but I suppose we can just attribute it to my whole "you lose your mind/fashion sense upon entering the city limits of L.A." theory, which is growing in evidence every day.
BTW, I voted for Alexis because she can sing, Anoop because I want to be his friend and Danny because his wife died. Clearly the fact that this is a singing competition has been pretty much lost on me.
So I was watching American Idol because as mentioned, I don't have cable, and because 90210 was a repeat (DAMN YOU! CW, wtf is this with all of these mid-season hiatuses? Even One Tree Hill was a repeat last night, gooddddddddd), and I noticed that upon reaching the Hollywood stage, the majority of the male contestants acquire a faux-hawk. What is this? What is the point? I mean, does it make the air around your head flow better, thus enhancing your voice? Combine that with the seemingly popular white button-down shirt enhanced with tribal/dragon design on the back (added points for down the sleeve) and you have quite the shit show. Sigh, but I suppose we can just attribute it to my whole "you lose your mind/fashion sense upon entering the city limits of L.A." theory, which is growing in evidence every day.
BTW, I voted for Alexis because she can sing, Anoop because I want to be his friend and Danny because his wife died. Clearly the fact that this is a singing competition has been pretty much lost on me.
Monday, February 16, 2009
OMG, no really. Why? More horror from pre-fashion week.
Posted by: Kim
Okay, you guys? Tell me if I'm wrong, but Taylor Momsen is really pretty, right? (Btw, Jen stumbled upon her in person once and almost peed on her boyfriend and immediately sent me a frantic text, in case you didn't know.)
SO SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE.
Why why why?
Now, I'm going to go out on a limb that might make Jen cancel our friendship on the spot here and just throw it out there that I don't even hate this Marchesa gown. I mean, I could never in 85 billion years wear it, because I'm 5'3" and would look like a 4-year-old on my way to bed and also I would totally trip, like, 73 times (but I still rock my purple maxi dress, I swear), but Little J here is obviously tall and perfect and stunning and someone who can pull this off and look like a goddess, and I'm inexplicably still not tired of the flowy drapey romantic Grecian look, and sea foam is a pastel I've always been more embracing of, and, ANYWAY, WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF IT'S A PRETTY DRESS:
Why does she look like Courtney Love? Dead Courtney Love? Strung out Courtney Love (wait...)? Why does she look strung out? WHY DOES SHE LOOK DEAD?
Taylor. :(
(I do like her lipstick)
Okay, you guys? Tell me if I'm wrong, but Taylor Momsen is really pretty, right? (Btw, Jen stumbled upon her in person once and almost peed on her boyfriend and immediately sent me a frantic text, in case you didn't know.)
SO SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE.
Why why why?
Now, I'm going to go out on a limb that might make Jen cancel our friendship on the spot here and just throw it out there that I don't even hate this Marchesa gown. I mean, I could never in 85 billion years wear it, because I'm 5'3" and would look like a 4-year-old on my way to bed and also I would totally trip, like, 73 times (but I still rock my purple maxi dress, I swear), but Little J here is obviously tall and perfect and stunning and someone who can pull this off and look like a goddess, and I'm inexplicably still not tired of the flowy drapey romantic Grecian look, and sea foam is a pastel I've always been more embracing of, and, ANYWAY, WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF IT'S A PRETTY DRESS:
Why does she look like Courtney Love? Dead Courtney Love? Strung out Courtney Love (wait...)? Why does she look strung out? WHY DOES SHE LOOK DEAD?
Taylor. :(
(I do like her lipstick)
Hey Guys, I Like What You Wore To Fashion Week
Posted by: Jen
Seems like everyone is paying attention to what's ON the runway, and while I suppose that is appropriate, I have decided to pay notice to the people who showed up looking amazing to watch other people look amazing.
First, Sophia Bush!
I love Sophia (even though she is really only on One Tree Hill, but I also loved John Tucker Must Die), and she always looks perfect at every event. Check her out in her awesome purple skirt with amazing belt! Sophia, I will always HATE CMM for what he did to you, and at least you can feel smug about the fact that you did not peak when you were 19 and that you will at least have a career of amazing movies (the kind that Kim and I love, not the academy) after One Tree Hill finally dies.
Next, Heidi Klum (who is rocking a haircut similar to mine, but I got full out bangs people! I keep going back and forth over whether I look entirely chic or four years old and I can't decide, but judging from the 19 year old NYU student who hit on me the other day assuming that I was in college, I am going to go with the latter)!
Oh hey, shiny sequined dress of awesome? Yes please.
How about H. Duff -- judging from this and Kim's post, I'd say red is her color.
Totally classic. Love the cut, her hair and her shoes. Well played, Hillary. You have come a long way from your Lizzie McGuire days; though I feel that Lizzie seriously could (and should) cut Hannah Montana as I accidentally watched it for the first time on Saturday because I don't have cable and I was cleaning my apartment and had it on for background noise (either that or CSPAN) and it was seriously BAD and DUMB and DUMB BAD.
Last, Brittany Snow!
Dear Brittany, I'm sorry I never saw Prom Night and I swear I will the next time Kim visits because this outfit seriously makes me love you more! Now, I don't "OMG LOVE PLAID!!1!", but I love how you combined casual with formal in this one, and yes, I really wish I had bought something in that color yellow this fall.
Excellent work, ladies!
Seems like everyone is paying attention to what's ON the runway, and while I suppose that is appropriate, I have decided to pay notice to the people who showed up looking amazing to watch other people look amazing.
First, Sophia Bush!
I love Sophia (even though she is really only on One Tree Hill, but I also loved John Tucker Must Die), and she always looks perfect at every event. Check her out in her awesome purple skirt with amazing belt! Sophia, I will always HATE CMM for what he did to you, and at least you can feel smug about the fact that you did not peak when you were 19 and that you will at least have a career of amazing movies (the kind that Kim and I love, not the academy) after One Tree Hill finally dies.Next, Heidi Klum (who is rocking a haircut similar to mine, but I got full out bangs people! I keep going back and forth over whether I look entirely chic or four years old and I can't decide, but judging from the 19 year old NYU student who hit on me the other day assuming that I was in college, I am going to go with the latter)!
Oh hey, shiny sequined dress of awesome? Yes please.How about H. Duff -- judging from this and Kim's post, I'd say red is her color.
Totally classic. Love the cut, her hair and her shoes. Well played, Hillary. You have come a long way from your Lizzie McGuire days; though I feel that Lizzie seriously could (and should) cut Hannah Montana as I accidentally watched it for the first time on Saturday because I don't have cable and I was cleaning my apartment and had it on for background noise (either that or CSPAN) and it was seriously BAD and DUMB and DUMB BAD.Last, Brittany Snow!
Dear Brittany, I'm sorry I never saw Prom Night and I swear I will the next time Kim visits because this outfit seriously makes me love you more! Now, I don't "OMG LOVE PLAID!!1!", but I love how you combined casual with formal in this one, and yes, I really wish I had bought something in that color yellow this fall.Excellent work, ladies!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
Posted by: Kim
I love Valentine's Day! I know, you're shocked. Anyway, since I can't give you Godiva, I'll give you a win and a fail from the Heart Truth Red Dress Show, because what is better than the beginning of Fashion Week and bright red? Right? Right.
Hilary Duff, in Donna Karan. She looks so elegant! And adult! And this dress is basically Kate Winslet's royal blue one from Whatever Awards Show A Few Days Or Weeks Ago, except minus the weird draping or whatever it was that was happening at the bottom, which is to say it improves upon something that was already pretty good! Excellent.
Oh, my. I sincerely hope Amanda Bynes is more graceful than I am (highly likely), because if I tried to strut the catwalk in this negligee-pretending-to-be-a-dress, the front row would most certainly be getting up close and personal with my ... undergarments. Anyway, apparently Swarovski designed this for the show. I didn't know Swarovski designed anything except crystal, actually, and I'm thinking maybe the world would be a better place if I were correct. Oh well. At least Amanda's got the legs to pull this off (and I have a vague apprehension she probably didn't get to choose this dress for herself anyway, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt), though I would like to point out that if she were wearing tights, "TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" would be rampant among critiques of this look, but, um, she's not even doing that. Eep.
I love Valentine's Day! I know, you're shocked. Anyway, since I can't give you Godiva, I'll give you a win and a fail from the Heart Truth Red Dress Show, because what is better than the beginning of Fashion Week and bright red? Right? Right.
WIN:
Hilary Duff, in Donna Karan. She looks so elegant! And adult! And this dress is basically Kate Winslet's royal blue one from Whatever Awards Show A Few Days Or Weeks Ago, except minus the weird draping or whatever it was that was happening at the bottom, which is to say it improves upon something that was already pretty good! Excellent.And, FAIL:
Oh, my. I sincerely hope Amanda Bynes is more graceful than I am (highly likely), because if I tried to strut the catwalk in this negligee-pretending-to-be-a-dress, the front row would most certainly be getting up close and personal with my ... undergarments. Anyway, apparently Swarovski designed this for the show. I didn't know Swarovski designed anything except crystal, actually, and I'm thinking maybe the world would be a better place if I were correct. Oh well. At least Amanda's got the legs to pull this off (and I have a vague apprehension she probably didn't get to choose this dress for herself anyway, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt), though I would like to point out that if she were wearing tights, "TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" would be rampant among critiques of this look, but, um, she's not even doing that. Eep.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Pre-Endorsement Retraction.
Posted by: Kim
Woe. I was all set to talk about how great my new favorite lip gloss is (and this is not said lightly, as I love lip gloss), when tragedy struck circa 10 minutes ago.
I first tried this L'Oreal Colour Juice (in "Raspberry Smash", which is the shade appearing above and to me looks more cherry than raspberry but I digress) last fall, on a whim, while I was en route to a party and had decided I needed, right then, to change my lip shade from ruby to cherry red, and hit up CVS. I'm usually kind of picky with lip gloss, because I don't like it to feel too sticky/rub off on my clothes or other people/gunk all up over my teeth/etc., so, to the dismay of some, I'm usually willing to shell out for it. But since there was no Sephora or even MAC (yes, I prefer Sephora) around during my need to change shades, I just tried my luck, and figured $8.49 sounded safe but also low enough that if I hated it I wouldn't need to throw fits.
I don't really remember much about my initial experience, just that I used up all the gloss without much fanfare and then the holidays came and my stock of reds (and pinks and nudes, etc) was replenished for a while.
Cut to last weekend, when I again found myself missing a cherry red to suit my needs, and recalled the Color Juice. I remembered it hadn't been as shocking as bright reds sometimes can be, which was nice, and that it smelled nice and was light in texture. So I decided to try it again, and happily wore it around all weekend and thoroughly enjoyed it and decided it would be my new go-to and that I would buy it in every color except wine-hued ones because those look bad on my face.
That was four days ago.
Today, this happened.
SCENE: Kim and her co-worker Amy flee the office to marvel at the 50-degree weather and drink iced coffee. Afterwords, as girl co-workers will sometimes insist upon doing, they begin acting like girls and reapplying the lipstick they drank off with their coffee. Kim digs out the clear gloss she was wearing and then realizes that with her all-black outfit, she should provide a POP of color! And then she remembers her new Raspberry Smash Color Juice! But ...
Kim: "Um ... wait. Am I confused or ..."
Amy: (picking up the scent from a good four feet away) "WOW! Is your lip gloss rotten? That is rancid! Ew! Wow. That's really bad. Your berries rotted."
Kim: *Sees red*
Do not endorse.
I will however give the benefit of the doubt and say maybe CVS stocked a shelf with some expired product (lip gloss expires, right?) and perhaps the product itself is not usually ROTTEN.
But I still won't buy it again.
And now I have no pop of color today. Grr.
Chace Crawford: Swoon
Posted by: Jen
Why hello there Nate Archibald! You are looking most excellent. I love you, have my babies. xoxo Jen
Why hello there Nate Archibald! You are looking most excellent. I love you, have my babies. xoxo Jen
Monday, February 9, 2009
EEEEEE! Dawson On One Tree Hill (AKA: The Charlie Show)!!!
Posted by: Jen
So I am watching One Tree Hill, that show about Lucas Scott, star basketball player/person with a defective heart/star author... And Brooke was evil but now she's awesome and Nathan and Hailey have the most precocious five year old ever (I would take him to the bar with me to hang out) and Minkus is like, a sports caster or something and is "cool" but still looks exactly the same as he did when I had a crush on Rider Strong in 1994 (whatever happened to him anyway?)! Oh god, the show went from decent, to bad, to somehow being sponsored by Sunkist soda, to five years in the future and it is actually decent again but clearly I only watch it because it is on after Gossip Girl.
ANYWAY. DAWSON FUCKING LEARY IS ON and he is some kind of famous Hollywood director (obv) and he is kind of a dick and Charlie walks into the room and Dawson quotes from Charlie's "book" and calls it "good writing" and then snorts a giant line of cocaine off of said book and somewhere in TV land Gram rolled her eyes and went to say the rosary and it was all too much and I was so excited I almost dropped my iBook .
I will say this, I love Dawson and want him back on TV all the time. Guest spot on GG, perhaps?
So I am watching One Tree Hill, that show about Lucas Scott, star basketball player/person with a defective heart/star author... And Brooke was evil but now she's awesome and Nathan and Hailey have the most precocious five year old ever (I would take him to the bar with me to hang out) and Minkus is like, a sports caster or something and is "cool" but still looks exactly the same as he did when I had a crush on Rider Strong in 1994 (whatever happened to him anyway?)! Oh god, the show went from decent, to bad, to somehow being sponsored by Sunkist soda, to five years in the future and it is actually decent again but clearly I only watch it because it is on after Gossip Girl.
ANYWAY. DAWSON FUCKING LEARY IS ON and he is some kind of famous Hollywood director (obv) and he is kind of a dick and Charlie walks into the room and Dawson quotes from Charlie's "book" and calls it "good writing" and then snorts a giant line of cocaine off of said book and somewhere in TV land Gram rolled her eyes and went to say the rosary and it was all too much and I was so excited I almost dropped my iBook .
I will say this, I love Dawson and want him back on TV all the time. Guest spot on GG, perhaps?
Something You Should Purchase Immediately And Put In Your Hair. FYI.
Posted by: Kim
I've been using Biosilk Silk Therapy replenishing treatment for a while now, and it is life-changing, I promise. I have long, thick hair that is not completely straight, but somehow also can't hold curl without the aid of about half a bottle of hairspray -- and considering I don't use hairspray pretty much as a rule, that gets difficult. Basically, it's wavy-ish on a good day, but mostly just ... a lot. So I pretty much pay homage to conditioning products on a daily basis and sing praises to the goddess of Vitamin E on every good hair day.
Aside from all the split-end reparations, it smells amazing. I actually have a mildly entertaining story about just how amazing it smells (it comes from my office, and office stories are always good, right?) -- that I will tell tomorrow.
See what I did there? This is me making a conscious effort to post more. Even if it does mean splitting posts up into two.
For now, trust me. Buy. Love. You will never go back.
I've been using Biosilk Silk Therapy replenishing treatment for a while now, and it is life-changing, I promise. I have long, thick hair that is not completely straight, but somehow also can't hold curl without the aid of about half a bottle of hairspray -- and considering I don't use hairspray pretty much as a rule, that gets difficult. Basically, it's wavy-ish on a good day, but mostly just ... a lot. So I pretty much pay homage to conditioning products on a daily basis and sing praises to the goddess of Vitamin E on every good hair day.
Aside from all the split-end reparations, it smells amazing. I actually have a mildly entertaining story about just how amazing it smells (it comes from my office, and office stories are always good, right?) -- that I will tell tomorrow.See what I did there? This is me making a conscious effort to post more. Even if it does mean splitting posts up into two.
For now, trust me. Buy. Love. You will never go back.
Jess and Ed 'Hide' Their Relationship in Plain Sight!
Posted by: Kim
Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.
(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)
Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!
She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.
Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.
(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)
Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!
She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.
Everybody Looked SO BAD At The Grammy's, So I Will Focus My Rage At Heidi's Shoes
Posted by: Jen
Ok, wtf singer people. You all looked ridic at the Grammy's last night -- like seriously, I clicked through 100 pictures and everyone looked so. bad. GAH. Let me provide some evidence, and then I will note which dresses did not make me throw up a little:
http://www.popsugar.com/2789547
Ok, so the people that did not offend me were: Marissa Miller (does she even sing?) in a safe white mini dress with a black belt (and I don't even particularly like large belts), Kathy Griffin in her nice blue number (I know for a fact that she does NOT sing), and Cyndi Lauper (CYNDI "I AM THE 80'S" LAUPER, PEOPLE!!!1) in her cute tux jacket.
To everyone else, OMFGWTF? It was like 80's threw up on 30's and mated with bad fabric and then had giant ugly ornate flower babies.
However, besides the aforementioned non-offending ladies, we did have one winner of the night, and of all people in the entire universe it was...
Yeah. AUDRINA! With her cute little bun and non-offensive dress. And she doesn't even DO ANYTHING. Now, I don't even like music, but I am sure that you musical people are not so creative and artsy to not care about what you look like, right? Prove it.
Anyway. Anyway. Now, onto the Most Offensive Thing I Have Witnessed All Year. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Heidi Montag's shoes:
PLATFORM SNEAKERS!!! Spencer has finally eaten her brain, I am sure of it.
Ok, wtf singer people. You all looked ridic at the Grammy's last night -- like seriously, I clicked through 100 pictures and everyone looked so. bad. GAH. Let me provide some evidence, and then I will note which dresses did not make me throw up a little:
http://www.popsugar.com/2789547
Ok, so the people that did not offend me were: Marissa Miller (does she even sing?) in a safe white mini dress with a black belt (and I don't even particularly like large belts), Kathy Griffin in her nice blue number (I know for a fact that she does NOT sing), and Cyndi Lauper (CYNDI "I AM THE 80'S" LAUPER, PEOPLE!!!1) in her cute tux jacket.
To everyone else, OMFGWTF? It was like 80's threw up on 30's and mated with bad fabric and then had giant ugly ornate flower babies.
However, besides the aforementioned non-offending ladies, we did have one winner of the night, and of all people in the entire universe it was...
Yeah. AUDRINA! With her cute little bun and non-offensive dress. And she doesn't even DO ANYTHING. Now, I don't even like music, but I am sure that you musical people are not so creative and artsy to not care about what you look like, right? Prove it.Anyway. Anyway. Now, onto the Most Offensive Thing I Have Witnessed All Year. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Heidi Montag's shoes:
PLATFORM SNEAKERS!!! Spencer has finally eaten her brain, I am sure of it.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
You Amuse Me, Dustin Hoffman
Posted by: Jen
The scene: Dustin Hoffman reacting (ok, clearly just messing with) to the work of the paparazzi while being photographed by said paparazzi. Oh, how meta! I vote him honorary grandpa of our Dream Team of Friends!
Dustin is clearly upset over mysteriously dead toddler Caylee Anthony! Like millions of others, he still can't get enough!
Dustin views Gennifer Goodwin's tangerine/bead/vomit colored shoes monstrosity from the He's Just Not That In To You premier. He is unimpressed, perhaps nonplussed.
Sigh. You can see the tangerine monstrosity here: http://www.fabsugar.com/2766278. Take it from me, Gin (Kim and I wonder if perhaps on the night of your conception, your parents got drunk on gin martinis and decided to combine their love of Bombay Saphire with one of the most popular names of the late 70's/early 80's, because really, what else are we expected to think?) as a girl who also has the Wednesday Adams thing going on, tropical fruit colors are NOT your friend!
The scene: Dustin Hoffman reacting (ok, clearly just messing with) to the work of the paparazzi while being photographed by said paparazzi. Oh, how meta! I vote him honorary grandpa of our Dream Team of Friends!
Dustin is clearly upset over mysteriously dead toddler Caylee Anthony! Like millions of others, he still can't get enough!
Dustin views Gennifer Goodwin's tangerine/bead/vomit colored shoes monstrosity from the He's Just Not That In To You premier. He is unimpressed, perhaps nonplussed. Sigh. You can see the tangerine monstrosity here: http://www.fabsugar.com/2766278. Take it from me, Gin (Kim and I wonder if perhaps on the night of your conception, your parents got drunk on gin martinis and decided to combine their love of Bombay Saphire with one of the most popular names of the late 70's/early 80's, because really, what else are we expected to think?) as a girl who also has the Wednesday Adams thing going on, tropical fruit colors are NOT your friend!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sigh.
Posted by: Kim
Dear Gossip Girl writers,
Slander is defamation of character by spoken word. As in, not by publishing in a written medium, like in a newspaper or, you know, ON A WEB SITE.
You were going for libel. Um, duh.
ALSO, HAROLD THE LAWYER WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT OMFG.
XOXO,
Kim, Friendly Former Journalist and Wannabe Lawyer
Dear Gossip Girl writers,
Slander is defamation of character by spoken word. As in, not by publishing in a written medium, like in a newspaper or, you know, ON A WEB SITE.
You were going for libel. Um, duh.
ALSO, HAROLD THE LAWYER WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT OMFG.
XOXO,
Kim, Friendly Former Journalist and Wannabe Lawyer
Unflattering Pants Captivate Nation; We Defend Jessica Simpson
Posted by: Kim and Jen
Jennifer: [Redacted insensitive boy] is calling Jessica Simpson fat
and I am getting outraged
Kim: OH GOD I AM SO SICK OF THAT CRAP.
Jennifer: he finally backed down to that she wasn't "fat" but "looks different"
Kim: she is probably a size 6 at the largest instead of a 2 because she got happy and comfortable and stopped starving herself, and wore a bad outfit!
Jennifer: I'm like, IT IS A BAD OUTFIT PLUS MAYBE SHE GAINED 10 POUNDS MAX!!!
and I was like 1. let's see pictures of all of these shit talkers...
Kim: seriously. that whole explosion of press/scrutiny was TERRIBLE.
Jennifer: 2. most girls would like to look liker her, how do you think that makes them feel?!
Kim: i was like, 'um, our nation just did an amazing thing last week, and now we are back to looking like complete and utter douche bags.'
THAT was the number one story.
hot blonde eats some chili. STOP THE PRESSES.
ew.
Jennifer: [Redacted insensitive boy] said her arms are "huge"
Kim: i think it's a shitty camera angle from the ground up, and she happens to not have muscle tone in them. like, you know, 82% of women?
Jennifer: I know, it makes me so mad that he thinks it's ok to comment on this
Kim: yeah. i don’t like it either.
stupid boy.
of course if he gets a gut it's funny... and socially acceptable!
arghhhhh
Jennifer: yes, you know who I hate?
Seth Rogen!
not because I don't think he is funny or whatever... well I don't think he is funny, but I mean, he's ok, if you're into that sort of thing...
but I hate him because he is ugly and gets a free pass
there I said it!!!
he is hairy and chubby and he get's credit where he doesn't deserve it!
and Jessica Simpson stops working out for 20 seconds and she gets the most coverage she's ever gotten!
Kim: yes. i agree. it's really bad.
and like, it is totally within realm that we are supposed to believe women who look like Katherine Heigl would find Rogen cute in some way.
Jennifer: I know!
Kim: like women are expected to be endeared to the fat and hairy as long as there is personality?
Jennifer: but Jessica looks perfect + 10lbs and suddenly she is gross and has "huge arms"
Kim: but if a dude was like, 'you know, i think J Simp looks better with the extra pounds' all his friends would start screaming about Miranda Kerr and disown him.
i know it's been a double standard for a long time, but still.
like we are really supposed to accept that acceptance means no girl is ever out of a guy's league???
Jennifer: I KNOW
I KNOW!!!1
Kim: but ladies, do NOT lose your looks
or you can suck it!
Jennifer: like, how dudes go, "I would fuck her"
oh you would, really?
thank you for letting the world know that you would deign to fuck her!
Kim: RIGHT
i'd do her.
oh yeah? would SHE do you?
Jennifer: it doesn't matter, she's supposed to love male attention
Kim: like i wonder if Jess Simpson would really be all up on [Redacted insensitive boy]'s jock.
Jennifer: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Kim: really.
Jennifer: no that's the thing: all of these people are "grossed out" or whatever
well what do you think she would think about you?!
Kim: you don’t think she might be like, 1) Nick, check. 2) John Mayer, check. 3) Tony Romo, check. um.
i mean, so i don’t think they’re all hot necessarily
Jennifer: but they have their perks
Kim: stupid men now declaring someone un-fuckable because she's not as skinny as she used to be.
Tony doesn’t seem to have a problem.
i'm with Tony. TRUST THE QUARTERBACKS, DUH.
Jennifer: yeah and he is like an alpha male
it's the betas that get nasty about it!
Kim: YES
Jennifer: wish fulfillment and all that
Kim: omg. THAT IS EXACTLY IT
it's like they KNOW something is above them and can't stand it ...
Jennifer: of course
Kim: and now that it's not AS perfect
they are like, I WOULD NOT DARE.
and it's like, uh, yeah, she still wouldn't either, fyi.
Jennifer: [Redacted insensitive boy] is calling Jessica Simpson fatand I am getting outraged
Kim: OH GOD I AM SO SICK OF THAT CRAP.
Jennifer: he finally backed down to that she wasn't "fat" but "looks different"
Kim: she is probably a size 6 at the largest instead of a 2 because she got happy and comfortable and stopped starving herself, and wore a bad outfit!
Jennifer: I'm like, IT IS A BAD OUTFIT PLUS MAYBE SHE GAINED 10 POUNDS MAX!!!
and I was like 1. let's see pictures of all of these shit talkers...
Kim: seriously. that whole explosion of press/scrutiny was TERRIBLE.
Jennifer: 2. most girls would like to look liker her, how do you think that makes them feel?!
Kim: i was like, 'um, our nation just did an amazing thing last week, and now we are back to looking like complete and utter douche bags.'
THAT was the number one story.
hot blonde eats some chili. STOP THE PRESSES.
ew.
Jennifer: [Redacted insensitive boy] said her arms are "huge"
Kim: i think it's a shitty camera angle from the ground up, and she happens to not have muscle tone in them. like, you know, 82% of women?
Jennifer: I know, it makes me so mad that he thinks it's ok to comment on this
Kim: yeah. i don’t like it either.
stupid boy.
of course if he gets a gut it's funny... and socially acceptable!
arghhhhh
Jennifer: yes, you know who I hate?
Seth Rogen!
not because I don't think he is funny or whatever... well I don't think he is funny, but I mean, he's ok, if you're into that sort of thing...
but I hate him because he is ugly and gets a free pass
there I said it!!!
he is hairy and chubby and he get's credit where he doesn't deserve it!
and Jessica Simpson stops working out for 20 seconds and she gets the most coverage she's ever gotten!
Kim: yes. i agree. it's really bad.
and like, it is totally within realm that we are supposed to believe women who look like Katherine Heigl would find Rogen cute in some way.
Jennifer: I know!
Kim: like women are expected to be endeared to the fat and hairy as long as there is personality?
Jennifer: but Jessica looks perfect + 10lbs and suddenly she is gross and has "huge arms"
Kim: but if a dude was like, 'you know, i think J Simp looks better with the extra pounds' all his friends would start screaming about Miranda Kerr and disown him.
i know it's been a double standard for a long time, but still.
like we are really supposed to accept that acceptance means no girl is ever out of a guy's league???
Jennifer: I KNOW
I KNOW!!!1
Kim: but ladies, do NOT lose your looks
or you can suck it!
Jennifer: like, how dudes go, "I would fuck her"
oh you would, really?
thank you for letting the world know that you would deign to fuck her!
Kim: RIGHT
i'd do her.
oh yeah? would SHE do you?
Jennifer: it doesn't matter, she's supposed to love male attention
Kim: like i wonder if Jess Simpson would really be all up on [Redacted insensitive boy]'s jock.
Jennifer: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Kim: really.
Jennifer: no that's the thing: all of these people are "grossed out" or whatever
well what do you think she would think about you?!
Kim: you don’t think she might be like, 1) Nick, check. 2) John Mayer, check. 3) Tony Romo, check. um.
i mean, so i don’t think they’re all hot necessarily
Jennifer: but they have their perks
Kim: stupid men now declaring someone un-fuckable because she's not as skinny as she used to be.
Tony doesn’t seem to have a problem.
i'm with Tony. TRUST THE QUARTERBACKS, DUH.
Jennifer: yeah and he is like an alpha male
it's the betas that get nasty about it!
Kim: YES
Jennifer: wish fulfillment and all that
Kim: omg. THAT IS EXACTLY IT
it's like they KNOW something is above them and can't stand it ...
Jennifer: of course
Kim: and now that it's not AS perfect
they are like, I WOULD NOT DARE.
and it's like, uh, yeah, she still wouldn't either, fyi.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
