Posted by: Kim
Hi, hi, world, hi.
Jen and I forgot to blog for a really long time, but I hereby swear that I am starting again (I know all three of you readers have been devasted heretofore ... I ... just wanted to use that word, I don't even know if I did so properly).
Anyway, for my first post as a self re-instated blogger, I really have nothing to say, actually. I'm having difficulties completing a single thought at work. Though, here's a little gem that came from today:
Kim: "So. (Redacted client whose case was just transferred to me) is going to be nice and cooperative and we will have this closed by Tuesday, yes?"
Boss: "No. I can promise you right here, right now, that no, that is not how it will be. He is going to be stupid and annoying and push your deadlines to deadlines that didn't even used to exist. On the 1-10 Scale of Stupid and Annoying, he is a 9, and I would give him an 11, but that is Stupid and Annoying, and somehow 10 seems less bad than 9. So he's a 9. Also he'll stare at you to an uncomfortable degree."
Awesome.
In other news, our favorite Adam Lambert is still our favorite and he's in the American Idol finale along with Kris Allen, who is just a lovely little lemon meringue pie tartlet of a person and we adore him too, so, this is great on all accounts! I am sad to report the degree to which this ridiculous karaoke competition has infiltrated my life, but, alas. Glitterpainting my Adam Lambert t-shirt this weekend.
In other sparkly tv news, it appears no one listened to me and watched Kings, which is all of your loss and I hate you and blame you for its apparent cancellation. On the upside, I saw Carter Baizen in the preview for the Gossip Girl finale, immediately deduced that with Kings dead this frees him up to be a regular in Season 3, and I proceeded to throw myself on the floor and flail around giggling with glee at the prospect. Sebastian Stan really just needs to grace all my television shows, please.
And in other, other news not relating to tv whatsoever, we are going to Spain! Je parle francais but my Spanish is sadly (yet spectacularly, somehow) limited to cauderno (that means notebook), but Jen is already practicing hers and I'm getting a book. It. Is. Going. To. Be. Epic. Allegedly we might skate by without sticking out too much because we shop at Zara, but my blonde hair is questionable. We don't care anyway. Ole!
Clearly I'm the same as I ever was, which is apparently shallow, as that nice anonymous* commenter deduced from my innocent post on sneakers. This is good news for you all, as it means that after taking the high road for like ten seconds, obviously my next post is going to be tearing anonymous* commenters who say absurd things to shreds. And I'll still be posting about shoes!
SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN!
* I know who you are, asshat. Stop posting anonymously on my fluffy little blog. You are way too old to act like an outcast 16-year-old. Like, way, way, way, wrinkly-and-with-the-confirmation-of-your-cat-lady-fate-breathing-down-your-neck too old.
Showing posts with label Gossip Girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gossip Girl. Show all posts
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
OMFG.
Posted by: Kim
President Obama is Gossip Girl fan!
Or he could just be AWARE of it, I know, but whatever.
President Obama is Gossip Girl fan!
Or he could just be AWARE of it, I know, but whatever.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My apartment can SOMETIMES find the Internet now...
Posted by: Kim
Hi, hi, I'm checking in while I briefly have Internet to pimp out a TV show I have never seen but that is my new favorite because Carter Baizen is in it and I love him and also (to a lesser degree, because I am that sad and shallow and so it's mostly about Carter) I think it will be Important Television! With Important Themes and Messages Relevant To Society Today! Or at least layered or whatever, like they tell me Lost is.
Anyway, everyone watch Kings. Who doesn't want Sunday night TV? People who know about TV tell me this is actually a bad time slot and thus the show will immediately be canceled. Also, that the show is going to be too smart for people to want to watch. But, um, no. It's going to be awesome. Sunday night TV about an alternate universe King David? Who doesn't love David's story? It's the best, most gay story in the Bible ever! Let's go!
Also, Carter Baizen, hi. I don't know (or care) what his name is on Kings yet. In real life it's Sebastian, though, which is probably even marginally cooler than Carter Baizen. And he dates Leighton! And I love him.
It's better than the time I read all four Twilight books because of a sort of crush on Robert Pattinson at least, isn't it?
Hi, hi, I'm checking in while I briefly have Internet to pimp out a TV show I have never seen but that is my new favorite because Carter Baizen is in it and I love him and also (to a lesser degree, because I am that sad and shallow and so it's mostly about Carter) I think it will be Important Television! With Important Themes and Messages Relevant To Society Today! Or at least layered or whatever, like they tell me Lost is.
Anyway, everyone watch Kings. Who doesn't want Sunday night TV? People who know about TV tell me this is actually a bad time slot and thus the show will immediately be canceled. Also, that the show is going to be too smart for people to want to watch. But, um, no. It's going to be awesome. Sunday night TV about an alternate universe King David? Who doesn't love David's story? It's the best, most gay story in the Bible ever! Let's go!
Also, Carter Baizen, hi. I don't know (or care) what his name is on Kings yet. In real life it's Sebastian, though, which is probably even marginally cooler than Carter Baizen. And he dates Leighton! And I love him.
It's better than the time I read all four Twilight books because of a sort of crush on Robert Pattinson at least, isn't it?
Monday, February 16, 2009
OMG, no really. Why? More horror from pre-fashion week.
Posted by: Kim
Okay, you guys? Tell me if I'm wrong, but Taylor Momsen is really pretty, right? (Btw, Jen stumbled upon her in person once and almost peed on her boyfriend and immediately sent me a frantic text, in case you didn't know.)
SO SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE.
Why why why?
Now, I'm going to go out on a limb that might make Jen cancel our friendship on the spot here and just throw it out there that I don't even hate this Marchesa gown. I mean, I could never in 85 billion years wear it, because I'm 5'3" and would look like a 4-year-old on my way to bed and also I would totally trip, like, 73 times (but I still rock my purple maxi dress, I swear), but Little J here is obviously tall and perfect and stunning and someone who can pull this off and look like a goddess, and I'm inexplicably still not tired of the flowy drapey romantic Grecian look, and sea foam is a pastel I've always been more embracing of, and, ANYWAY, WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF IT'S A PRETTY DRESS:
Why does she look like Courtney Love? Dead Courtney Love? Strung out Courtney Love (wait...)? Why does she look strung out? WHY DOES SHE LOOK DEAD?
Taylor. :(
(I do like her lipstick)
Okay, you guys? Tell me if I'm wrong, but Taylor Momsen is really pretty, right? (Btw, Jen stumbled upon her in person once and almost peed on her boyfriend and immediately sent me a frantic text, in case you didn't know.)
SO SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE.
Why why why?
Now, I'm going to go out on a limb that might make Jen cancel our friendship on the spot here and just throw it out there that I don't even hate this Marchesa gown. I mean, I could never in 85 billion years wear it, because I'm 5'3" and would look like a 4-year-old on my way to bed and also I would totally trip, like, 73 times (but I still rock my purple maxi dress, I swear), but Little J here is obviously tall and perfect and stunning and someone who can pull this off and look like a goddess, and I'm inexplicably still not tired of the flowy drapey romantic Grecian look, and sea foam is a pastel I've always been more embracing of, and, ANYWAY, WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF IT'S A PRETTY DRESS:
Why does she look like Courtney Love? Dead Courtney Love? Strung out Courtney Love (wait...)? Why does she look strung out? WHY DOES SHE LOOK DEAD?
Taylor. :(
(I do like her lipstick)
Monday, February 9, 2009
EEEEEE! Dawson On One Tree Hill (AKA: The Charlie Show)!!!
Posted by: Jen
So I am watching One Tree Hill, that show about Lucas Scott, star basketball player/person with a defective heart/star author... And Brooke was evil but now she's awesome and Nathan and Hailey have the most precocious five year old ever (I would take him to the bar with me to hang out) and Minkus is like, a sports caster or something and is "cool" but still looks exactly the same as he did when I had a crush on Rider Strong in 1994 (whatever happened to him anyway?)! Oh god, the show went from decent, to bad, to somehow being sponsored by Sunkist soda, to five years in the future and it is actually decent again but clearly I only watch it because it is on after Gossip Girl.
ANYWAY. DAWSON FUCKING LEARY IS ON and he is some kind of famous Hollywood director (obv) and he is kind of a dick and Charlie walks into the room and Dawson quotes from Charlie's "book" and calls it "good writing" and then snorts a giant line of cocaine off of said book and somewhere in TV land Gram rolled her eyes and went to say the rosary and it was all too much and I was so excited I almost dropped my iBook .
I will say this, I love Dawson and want him back on TV all the time. Guest spot on GG, perhaps?
So I am watching One Tree Hill, that show about Lucas Scott, star basketball player/person with a defective heart/star author... And Brooke was evil but now she's awesome and Nathan and Hailey have the most precocious five year old ever (I would take him to the bar with me to hang out) and Minkus is like, a sports caster or something and is "cool" but still looks exactly the same as he did when I had a crush on Rider Strong in 1994 (whatever happened to him anyway?)! Oh god, the show went from decent, to bad, to somehow being sponsored by Sunkist soda, to five years in the future and it is actually decent again but clearly I only watch it because it is on after Gossip Girl.
ANYWAY. DAWSON FUCKING LEARY IS ON and he is some kind of famous Hollywood director (obv) and he is kind of a dick and Charlie walks into the room and Dawson quotes from Charlie's "book" and calls it "good writing" and then snorts a giant line of cocaine off of said book and somewhere in TV land Gram rolled her eyes and went to say the rosary and it was all too much and I was so excited I almost dropped my iBook .
I will say this, I love Dawson and want him back on TV all the time. Guest spot on GG, perhaps?
Jess and Ed 'Hide' Their Relationship in Plain Sight!
Posted by: Kim
Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.
(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)
Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!
She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.
Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.
(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)
Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!
She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sigh.
Posted by: Kim
Dear Gossip Girl writers,
Slander is defamation of character by spoken word. As in, not by publishing in a written medium, like in a newspaper or, you know, ON A WEB SITE.
You were going for libel. Um, duh.
ALSO, HAROLD THE LAWYER WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT OMFG.
XOXO,
Kim, Friendly Former Journalist and Wannabe Lawyer
Dear Gossip Girl writers,
Slander is defamation of character by spoken word. As in, not by publishing in a written medium, like in a newspaper or, you know, ON A WEB SITE.
You were going for libel. Um, duh.
ALSO, HAROLD THE LAWYER WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT OMFG.
XOXO,
Kim, Friendly Former Journalist and Wannabe Lawyer
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Eric Will Not Be Getting His Own Show
Posted by: Jen
So that pesky rumor about a Gossip Girl spin off that was making us all nervous about which character would leave the show and commit career/show suicide by breaking up the pure magic that is GG? Totally true! But fear not everyone, Chuck is NOT leaving. And Eric is not getting his own show -- he seemed like the only logical one to me, because he is underused and totally awesome!!!
From Star Magazine:
"A network insider says the spin-off will center around the younger lives of Blake Lively and Penn Badgely's on-screen parents, played by Kelly Rutherford and Matthew Settle.
So that pesky rumor about a Gossip Girl spin off that was making us all nervous about which character would leave the show and commit career/show suicide by breaking up the pure magic that is GG? Totally true! But fear not everyone, Chuck is NOT leaving. And Eric is not getting his own show -- he seemed like the only logical one to me, because he is underused and totally awesome!!!
From Star Magazine:
"A network insider says the spin-off will center around the younger lives of Blake Lively and Penn Badgely's on-screen parents, played by Kelly Rutherford and Matthew Settle.
"The show will focus on the early romance between Lily and Rufus," says the insider. "It begins when they first meet, during a time when Rufus and his band are at the height of their career. The show will follow the high society and rock 'n' roll lifestyle in New York."
...The source denies rumors that an original cast member will be leaving the show to join the spin-off. Instead, two new actors will be hired to play the young Lily and Rufus. Producers are planning to introduce the new couple during a flashback scene in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl."
Well, that actually doesn't sound like it will totally suck, as long as they make young Rufus and Lily waaaay more interesting. But I mean, an 80's version of Gossip Girl, with 80's New York and 80's fashion? Well, well Josh Schwartz, you've sparked my interest...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Jenny Humphrey's Pout Makes Me Nervous...
Posted by: Jen
Like seriously Little J! What is with your face on red carpets? We are not always doing high fashion; I'd like to see a little catalogue and see you smile and not look like you are about to bite off my face.
However, your dress is amazing and I applaud your or your stylist's fashion sense. I wonder: Jenny (Taylor, whatevs) is 15 years old. I at 15 was wearing Doc Martens, stripe-y sweaters and a jacket similar to the one favored by George Costanza -- and if Jenny is actually dressing herself, then she is a certified child genius, and I won't worry as much about her running around NYC to grown-up parties because she can obviously handle it. And do my taxes.
Like seriously Little J! What is with your face on red carpets? We are not always doing high fashion; I'd like to see a little catalogue and see you smile and not look like you are about to bite off my face.
However, your dress is amazing and I applaud your or your stylist's fashion sense. I wonder: Jenny (Taylor, whatevs) is 15 years old. I at 15 was wearing Doc Martens, stripe-y sweaters and a jacket similar to the one favored by George Costanza -- and if Jenny is actually dressing herself, then she is a certified child genius, and I won't worry as much about her running around NYC to grown-up parties because she can obviously handle it. And do my taxes.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Interrupting my unintentional blog neglect to say ...
Posted by: Kim
Dear Gossip Girl writers:
1) Okay. I get it. You, or someone who pays you, has a giant hard-on for Vanessa. Probably the same someone with a giant hard-on for all the boring Brooklyn-based characters in this show about Upper East Siders (the only one I give a pass to is Jenny, because her storylines are interesting and despite her tendency to be obnoxious, she's probably the most realistically-portrayed character on the whole show). I could rant on that for a while, but, meh. Point? You can't make me like her. So while I accept that she's not getting written off the show any time soon, PLEASE STOP TRYING TO FORCE IT SO HARD OMFG! Ugh. So her raison d'etre is that she's Nate's One True Luv? And she finally comes down off her high, high horse and admits she was wrong ... when she is presented with material gifts! Oh, how moral and refreshingly down-to-earth. Heh. Also, blech. You JUST started developing Nate's character in the last episode, so while he may be obscenely hot and while it was 70% adorable (30% yucky) that he kissed her while she was leaking snot down her face, I don't buy the looooove. It got lost after they were cute and normally developed for 13 seconds and then abandoned immediately last season. Ew, V, go back to Vermont, you stupid judgey letter-stealy bitch.
2) Um, so, Jen just texted me V+N 4Eva! Apparently I lose.
I forget what else I was going to say.
3) Oh yeah. Lily's dress intrigued me greatly. Blair looked pretty. Blair's twin did as well. Everyone else, um, Swan Lake much? Oh, but also? Chuck's twin? With the Chuck mouth/Chuck face? Incredible. Like you could actually see that Ed Westwick was not 'acting' his amusement and was just straight up laughing at the kid. Awesome.
4) Rufus/Lily bore me as well.
Dear Gossip Girl writers:
1) Okay. I get it. You, or someone who pays you, has a giant hard-on for Vanessa. Probably the same someone with a giant hard-on for all the boring Brooklyn-based characters in this show about Upper East Siders (the only one I give a pass to is Jenny, because her storylines are interesting and despite her tendency to be obnoxious, she's probably the most realistically-portrayed character on the whole show). I could rant on that for a while, but, meh. Point? You can't make me like her. So while I accept that she's not getting written off the show any time soon, PLEASE STOP TRYING TO FORCE IT SO HARD OMFG! Ugh. So her raison d'etre is that she's Nate's One True Luv? And she finally comes down off her high, high horse and admits she was wrong ... when she is presented with material gifts! Oh, how moral and refreshingly down-to-earth. Heh. Also, blech. You JUST started developing Nate's character in the last episode, so while he may be obscenely hot and while it was 70% adorable (30% yucky) that he kissed her while she was leaking snot down her face, I don't buy the looooove. It got lost after they were cute and normally developed for 13 seconds and then abandoned immediately last season. Ew, V, go back to Vermont, you stupid judgey letter-stealy bitch.
2) Um, so, Jen just texted me V+N 4Eva! Apparently I lose.
I forget what else I was going to say.
3) Oh yeah. Lily's dress intrigued me greatly. Blair looked pretty. Blair's twin did as well. Everyone else, um, Swan Lake much? Oh, but also? Chuck's twin? With the Chuck mouth/Chuck face? Incredible. Like you could actually see that Ed Westwick was not 'acting' his amusement and was just straight up laughing at the kid. Awesome.
4) Rufus/Lily bore me as well.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A Combo Of Elvira and Laura Ingalls Wilder
Posted by: Jen
OH WOW, what is this? A boobie dress with a dash of FLDS thrown in for fun? And do I detect (presumably knee high) leather pointy toed boots underneath that dress? How is she so confidently striking the teapot pose in this? Maybe Blake is a better actress than we thought! Or maybe she is now letting her GG stylist dress her in real life.
Update: After talking further about my horror at this monstrosity with Kim, I can now seriously say that this is the Ugliest Dress I Have Ever Seen. There, I said it.
But really, really! This is like Angela Chase's dream winter formal dress or something my kindergarten teacher wore in 1987. I can't get over it. SO BAD.
OH WOW, what is this? A boobie dress with a dash of FLDS thrown in for fun? And do I detect (presumably knee high) leather pointy toed boots underneath that dress? How is she so confidently striking the teapot pose in this? Maybe Blake is a better actress than we thought! Or maybe she is now letting her GG stylist dress her in real life.Update: After talking further about my horror at this monstrosity with Kim, I can now seriously say that this is the Ugliest Dress I Have Ever Seen. There, I said it.
But really, really! This is like Angela Chase's dream winter formal dress or something my kindergarten teacher wore in 1987. I can't get over it. SO BAD.
Monday, November 17, 2008
In Which We Foresee The Future:
Posted by: Kim and Jen
Jennifer: if they actually did a vampire GG episode, I would probably die of happiness
Kim: HAHAHAHA
write it up, pitch it to josh schwartz.
Jennifer: I could, it will be for season 4, when GG inevitably goes crazy and gets cancelled
Kim: yes. that's totally what's happening.
like, right after vanessa and blair start dating and serena overdoses and dies.
Jennifer: like the last season of the OC, when Marissa was dead, and it was all, what, now we have to watch Summer and Seth and random sister
Kim: chuck and nate will turn into vampires.
Kim: i didn't like marissa anyway, she was totes the weak link.
it's like how i feel gg keeps telling me i care about rufus/lily vanessa, jenny, etc.
i really don't
well, i do like jenny most of the time, her storylines are good.
Jennifer: you know season 4 it will be the rufus/lily/v/jenny show right
Kim: but really im totally like BSNC, that's all i really care about.
Jennifer: S and B will have gone on to film
Kim: yeah. sigh. prob next season, jenny will be the star. and rufus and lily are like lead couple. i wont like it anymore.
Jennifer: yeah, sigh, dan will still be there
Ed Westwick will have OD'd in real life
Kim: awwww
but yeah
Jennifer: Chace will be handcuffed to my bed
Kim: YES
Jennifer: hahahaha
Kim: or at least have given up on 'acting'and been a model, like he was designed for.
duh, chace.
Jennifer: he screams Dolce and Gabbana to me -- like, he is their print ad boy
maybe even Versace, cause he's a little tacky but sooooooo pretty
Kim: yes. they can just slick back his hair pilot-style and pile on the blush.
Jennifer: yup, I'm envisioning a velor red blazer, tighty whities and big leather boots
Kim: ew
Jennifer: that's what they do! I didn't create it!
Kim: it was like, the unprettiest vision of chace imagineable, lol
Jennifer: but he'll make millions
Kim: oh yeah, and i mean, i'll still wallpaper my ceiling, it will just take me a few minutes.
Jennifer: and then successfully foray back into acting by being Samantha's boy toy in the 5th Sex and The City movie
Kim: oh, their futures are so bright: blake will have had 2 facelifts by the time she's 29
leighton ... i don't know. in theory she should be okay, but i could see her leaving gg to do movies and then not getting work again ever and just being D-list with carter baizen.
and vanessa will obviously disappear.
or be on GG, the new class.
Jennifer: a teacher at the prep school
Kim: yes, exactly. possibly married to dan.
or a lesbian.
Jennifer: eric is already gay
they used that one too early
Kim: oh, he'll be fine though.
he'll leave at like the end of this season to go win 4 oscars and cure aids.
i love eric.
Jennifer: if they actually did a vampire GG episode, I would probably die of happiness
Kim: HAHAHAHA
write it up, pitch it to josh schwartz.
Jennifer: I could, it will be for season 4, when GG inevitably goes crazy and gets cancelled
Kim: yes. that's totally what's happening.
like, right after vanessa and blair start dating and serena overdoses and dies.
Jennifer: like the last season of the OC, when Marissa was dead, and it was all, what, now we have to watch Summer and Seth and random sister
Kim: chuck and nate will turn into vampires.
Kim: i didn't like marissa anyway, she was totes the weak link.
it's like how i feel gg keeps telling me i care about rufus/lily vanessa, jenny, etc.
i really don't
well, i do like jenny most of the time, her storylines are good.
Jennifer: you know season 4 it will be the rufus/lily/v/jenny show right
Kim: but really im totally like BSNC, that's all i really care about.
Jennifer: S and B will have gone on to film
Kim: yeah. sigh. prob next season, jenny will be the star. and rufus and lily are like lead couple. i wont like it anymore.
Jennifer: yeah, sigh, dan will still be there
Ed Westwick will have OD'd in real life
Kim: awwww
but yeah
Jennifer: Chace will be handcuffed to my bed
Kim: YES
Jennifer: hahahaha
Kim: or at least have given up on 'acting'and been a model, like he was designed for.
duh, chace.
Jennifer: he screams Dolce and Gabbana to me -- like, he is their print ad boy
maybe even Versace, cause he's a little tacky but sooooooo pretty
Kim: yes. they can just slick back his hair pilot-style and pile on the blush.
Jennifer: yup, I'm envisioning a velor red blazer, tighty whities and big leather boots
Kim: ew
Jennifer: that's what they do! I didn't create it!
Kim: it was like, the unprettiest vision of chace imagineable, lol
Jennifer: but he'll make millions
Kim: oh yeah, and i mean, i'll still wallpaper my ceiling, it will just take me a few minutes.
Jennifer: and then successfully foray back into acting by being Samantha's boy toy in the 5th Sex and The City movie
Kim: oh, their futures are so bright: blake will have had 2 facelifts by the time she's 29
leighton ... i don't know. in theory she should be okay, but i could see her leaving gg to do movies and then not getting work again ever and just being D-list with carter baizen.
and vanessa will obviously disappear.
or be on GG, the new class.
Jennifer: a teacher at the prep school
Kim: yes, exactly. possibly married to dan.
or a lesbian.
Jennifer: eric is already gay
they used that one too early
Kim: oh, he'll be fine though.
he'll leave at like the end of this season to go win 4 oscars and cure aids.
i love eric.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
When Photoshop attacks
Posted by: Kim
Oh, dear god.
I think it's fairly obvious to anyone who has ever seen her before that Blake Lively is neither (1) a demon; or (2) a life-sized Barbie doll, complete with arms that snap off at the shoulder. Oh, W, W, W. How could you do this to our Serena? She's supposed to be pretty.
Another issue: Why is she dressed in what looks like it could easily line up in contention for My Birthday Dress of 2008 ... until you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the cover and see that it's a ... bright red pantsuit with a strapless, empire-waist baby doll top? Is that what it is?
Because it's either that or a strapless, empire-waist baby doll "dress" the likes and length of which even Little Jenny Humphrey hasn't even been bold enough to attempt, paired with ... red tights. ("TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" -- Blair Waldorf)
But I can't tell, because that American flag is obstructing my view and, have I mentioned how fucking distracting her dislocated ARM is?!
Anyway. In other scandalous S news, last night's Gossip Girl was good enough, because, well, it is Gossip Girl and can never be bad, but sort of failed to impress as much as anticipated, what with Chuck not killing Dan, CreepyGrossAaron seducing Serena with photos of herself, and Jenny inexplicably screaming about how nuts Agnes is instead of knocking the bitch down and running off with her dresses (seriously, it was taking the girl 20 minutes to light the damn match anyway). But at least Wallace Shawn was in there being inconceivably awesome (ha. ha.) and Blair coined our (and by our, I mean the collective female population) new mantra, "I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me." And next week we're all thankful for Nate Archibald! Whee!
Oh, dear god.
I think it's fairly obvious to anyone who has ever seen her before that Blake Lively is neither (1) a demon; or (2) a life-sized Barbie doll, complete with arms that snap off at the shoulder. Oh, W, W, W. How could you do this to our Serena? She's supposed to be pretty.Another issue: Why is she dressed in what looks like it could easily line up in contention for My Birthday Dress of 2008 ... until you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the cover and see that it's a ... bright red pantsuit with a strapless, empire-waist baby doll top? Is that what it is?
Because it's either that or a strapless, empire-waist baby doll "dress" the likes and length of which even Little Jenny Humphrey hasn't even been bold enough to attempt, paired with ... red tights. ("TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" -- Blair Waldorf)
But I can't tell, because that American flag is obstructing my view and, have I mentioned how fucking distracting her dislocated ARM is?!
Anyway. In other scandalous S news, last night's Gossip Girl was good enough, because, well, it is Gossip Girl and can never be bad, but sort of failed to impress as much as anticipated, what with Chuck not killing Dan, CreepyGrossAaron seducing Serena with photos of herself, and Jenny inexplicably screaming about how nuts Agnes is instead of knocking the bitch down and running off with her dresses (seriously, it was taking the girl 20 minutes to light the damn match anyway). But at least Wallace Shawn was in there being inconceivably awesome (ha. ha.) and Blair coined our (and by our, I mean the collective female population) new mantra, "I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me." And next week we're all thankful for Nate Archibald! Whee!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Oh, and another thing about GG:
Posted by: Kim
Nate and Jenny? I mean I guess we knew it was coming (but I guess I was also sort of hoping Josh Schwartz would surprise us) and I guess Nate and Jenny are kind of cute (although she, most certainly, was far cuter pre-turning into a raccoon) but, overall? ICKY.
I can't get past it. Kiddie porn! Kiddie porn! I mean, you can't cast some grownups to play teenagers AND some children to play teenagers and THEN LET THEM ACT LIKE TEENAGERS TOGETHER IN THE SEX KIND OF WAY. I mean, okay, so I know they just kissed, but, like, really. I'm so sure it will end there. ICKY. Like, either be Degrassi or be every other show about teenagers, but, eep.
Nate and Jenny? I mean I guess we knew it was coming (but I guess I was also sort of hoping Josh Schwartz would surprise us) and I guess Nate and Jenny are kind of cute (although she, most certainly, was far cuter pre-turning into a raccoon) but, overall? ICKY.
I can't get past it. Kiddie porn! Kiddie porn! I mean, you can't cast some grownups to play teenagers AND some children to play teenagers and THEN LET THEM ACT LIKE TEENAGERS TOGETHER IN THE SEX KIND OF WAY. I mean, okay, so I know they just kissed, but, like, really. I'm so sure it will end there. ICKY. Like, either be Degrassi or be every other show about teenagers, but, eep.
I've been looking for an awesome gold dress ...
Posted by: Kim
Nicole Ritchie looks awesome and I want this dress:
In other news, I wanted to go look for pictures from tonight's Gossip Girl solely because I almost fell out of my seat when B sent C the "You win. Tonight." text (you know, pre-Dan Humphrey sucks, pre-America's collective heart breaks) and he received it while descending a staircase wearing a purple sweater and was totally the Hottest. Thing. Ever. I swear I'm a Nate girl, but, what? Maybe I'm not anymore? (Right, like that's even possible). But wardrobe is doing something way right this season with the Bass-tard, cause boy looks good walking away ... and approaching. And ... always. So yeah, either they've stepped up or they were doing something wrong by Ed Westwick last season, because I did not used to drool this much. I don't even know what I'm saying at this point, but, damn. Purple sweater. I know Jen approves of purple.
Anyway, right, I wanted to go look for pictures, but, I think I will wait until they come to me and go watch baseball until I fall asleep instead. Computers are hurting my eyes lately.
Also, I don't want the Phillies to win the World Series. That is all.
Nicole Ritchie looks awesome and I want this dress:
In other news, I wanted to go look for pictures from tonight's Gossip Girl solely because I almost fell out of my seat when B sent C the "You win. Tonight." text (you know, pre-Dan Humphrey sucks, pre-America's collective heart breaks) and he received it while descending a staircase wearing a purple sweater and was totally the Hottest. Thing. Ever. I swear I'm a Nate girl, but, what? Maybe I'm not anymore? (Right, like that's even possible). But wardrobe is doing something way right this season with the Bass-tard, cause boy looks good walking away ... and approaching. And ... always. So yeah, either they've stepped up or they were doing something wrong by Ed Westwick last season, because I did not used to drool this much. I don't even know what I'm saying at this point, but, damn. Purple sweater. I know Jen approves of purple.
Anyway, right, I wanted to go look for pictures, but, I think I will wait until they come to me and go watch baseball until I fall asleep instead. Computers are hurting my eyes lately.
Also, I don't want the Phillies to win the World Series. That is all.
Nate And Little J? Ew.
Posted by: Jen
My my, Little J running around with a Corey Kennedy inspired Marissa's little sister with an Asian hipster "photographer" shooting them a la Last Night's Party. Hellooooo 2005, I forgot about you! Anyway, anyway, Nate, seeing that things were going awry, and unable to formulate a sentence quickly enough to keep Jenny from leaving into the dark Brooklyn night with the long lost members of the Mishapes, charges after her, rescues her from dancing in her underwear (so, if we've learned anything from S, blow and porn were soon to follow, so plus 1 for N) and then KISSES her. Are we supposed to swoon, because I gagged a little. And I know Nate is supposed to be sort of age appropriate on the show for Little J, but I kind of felt like I was watching the start of the eventual real-life porno that will come out. You know, after Taylor Momsen goes to rehab.
My my, Little J running around with a Corey Kennedy inspired Marissa's little sister with an Asian hipster "photographer" shooting them a la Last Night's Party. Hellooooo 2005, I forgot about you! Anyway, anyway, Nate, seeing that things were going awry, and unable to formulate a sentence quickly enough to keep Jenny from leaving into the dark Brooklyn night with the long lost members of the Mishapes, charges after her, rescues her from dancing in her underwear (so, if we've learned anything from S, blow and porn were soon to follow, so plus 1 for N) and then KISSES her. Are we supposed to swoon, because I gagged a little. And I know Nate is supposed to be sort of age appropriate on the show for Little J, but I kind of felt like I was watching the start of the eventual real-life porno that will come out. You know, after Taylor Momsen goes to rehab.
Monday, October 13, 2008
"I'll Fight You for It." - Jen, Re: Red Missoni scarf
Posted by: Kim
Urgent! A question about tonight's Gossip Girl!
Someone with a quicker eye or a greater Missoni appreciation: In that last scene at Yale-umbia, with B & S and the two outifts I did NOT enjoy ... (You know. That hat. I like a 20s throwback more than most and I wasn't feeling it, but I digress) ... was Blair rocking (or not rocking) a Missoni print dress? Because on Saturday Jen and I totally discussed how Blair would not wear Missoni! As in, we were drunk and running around draped in Missoni scarves that did not belong to us, and that came up. Followed by something about Gucci and equestrian patterns. Or that could have come first. True story. Anyway, so now she maybe just did. Wear Missoni, I mean. Wtf.
In other news, the string-quartet arrangement of Muse's "Time Is Running Out"? Well, that was awesome.
Urgent! A question about tonight's Gossip Girl!
Someone with a quicker eye or a greater Missoni appreciation: In that last scene at Yale-umbia, with B & S and the two outifts I did NOT enjoy ... (You know. That hat. I like a 20s throwback more than most and I wasn't feeling it, but I digress) ... was Blair rocking (or not rocking) a Missoni print dress? Because on Saturday Jen and I totally discussed how Blair would not wear Missoni! As in, we were drunk and running around draped in Missoni scarves that did not belong to us, and that came up. Followed by something about Gucci and equestrian patterns. Or that could have come first. True story. Anyway, so now she maybe just did. Wear Missoni, I mean. Wtf.
In other news, the string-quartet arrangement of Muse's "Time Is Running Out"? Well, that was awesome.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Quote Of The Day! Also, I Accidentally Come Off As Really Creepy!
Posted by: Jen
And without further ado, the Quote of the Day (or week, because Palin hasn't been interviewed lately):
"Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface'. So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface." -- Chace Crawford on the public criticism of his thespian skillz in this month's Details magazine
Dan: Slack-jawed
Chuck: Brooding
Nate: Pure sex
Um, so Chace, some of those things may or may not be true, but you DO NOT have gayface. Trust me. Because I want to lick it.
And without further ado, the Quote of the Day (or week, because Palin hasn't been interviewed lately):
"Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface'. So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface." -- Chace Crawford on the public criticism of his thespian skillz in this month's Details magazine
Dan: Slack-jawedChuck: Brooding
Nate: Pure sex
Um, so Chace, some of those things may or may not be true, but you DO NOT have gayface. Trust me. Because I want to lick it.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
In Which I Talk About a Movie, and I Probably Say Some Stuff That Happens In It, So, Be Warned.
Posted by: Kim
My (and Jen's) awesome friend Sam and I took advantage of the neverending downpours to spend Saturday night at the movies. We're not what you'd consider huge movie-goers (my 'I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ...' list tends to have between zero and two movies on it, and they generally include zombies, a natural disaster, a serial killer or an Olsen twin), so we had absolutely no idea what was even showing, but a quick search pointed us in the direction of the nearest feel-good, tear-jerker sports movie, because, who can't get behind that?
As we were sneaking in our purchased-off-the-premises lattes, Sam said, "Oh, you know what? I think I have heard of this already. Dan from Gossip Girl is in it." I proceeded to shove my latte at her, flail around for a little while, and then text Jen this exciting news. Response: "OMG! I WANT TO SEE THAT!" And so, my entirely qualified review:
It was borderline, as in I certainly cried, but I also laughed more than once when I'm pretty sure nothing was meant to be funny. Theatre-wise, I would recommend it in case of a downpour and no current zombie option. Netflix-wise, sure. Free-on-TV-wise, absolutely. Purchase-wise, no. It's uplifting in the vein of "Remember the Titans," but does not come close to the Personal Movie Shelf-worthiness of such gems as "Miracle" and "Friday Night Lights" (the movie, as movies are the point of this post, and, plus, I have not seen the tv show).
Rugby is apparently America's Next Favorite Sport, but, well, I seem to remember them saying that about soccer rather recently and look how that's working out. Anyway, judging from this movie (and I'm told this movie does not, in fact, do real rugby justice and rugby aficionados will scoff) it is quite the nasty, badass sport, and should I ever come into possession of a boyfriend who participates in this sport, I will alternate between parading him around like the sheer AWESOME that he is, and rocking back and forth in the fetal position while I stress about his various important bones being crunched and his face getting ripped off. So, you know. Hockey but even scarier. Or, I guess, as Some Dude in the movie says, "so it's kinda like football AND soccer." Except then the main guy is like "it's kinda like RUGBY." Ha. Love sports movies. But anyway, yeah, so, rugby's badass and it's undeniable because, really. They more than once make jokes about lacrosse being for sissies, so, right.
So, in a nutshell, there's this bad boy rugby star (henceforth Our Hero) in Arizona, playing for his Evil Dad's team. You know Evil Dad's super-assy because he doesn't even shake the rival coach's hand after the game. Plus, he's got really creepy eyes. Our Hero and his friends/teammates (including Dan, with ridiculous chin fuzz, whose character's name is LARS! LARS!) are all rich, drunk brats with attitudes and pharmaceutical addictions, and they have parties and hot chicks and drive drunk a lot.
The latter gets Our Hero thrown in juvie in Salt Lake City, where a Goonie saves his life by forcing him to play rugby with the way awesomer rival rugby team of his Assy Arizona team. Of course, Highland, as this team is called, is full of the exact opposite type of kids as the Assy Arizona team. They work out 35 hours a day and don't drink, drug, or sex anything, and they also plant trees and read to cancer patients. Meanwhile, their coach is the coolest man alive and saves the lives of millions boys by non-coaching them from a lawn chair.
Obviously Our Hero hates everything for a while and eats Vicoden out of a rugby ball that Dan sent him, but eventually he comes around and everyone loves him except for this one guy who was in "Miracle" but that's mostly because Our Hero keeps hitting on his sister, who is this crazy platinum blonde cross between Jessica Alba and Mandy Moore. He is so adored he becomes team captain, and eventually the team (with a small time out for a tear-jerking tragedy) is on their way to nationals, where they will, of course, be playing Assy Arizona!
But of course, Evil Dad shows up and announces that Our Hero has been sprung from juvie for good behavior, and has to come home and tell Assy Arizona all of Holy Highland's secrets.
I will let you guess what happens.
I will also let you ponder what CRAZY twist could possibly occur concerning Evil Dad and Holy Highland's Savior Coach.
BUT DID I MENTION, that Holy Highland does this super-cool, super-intimidating "Ka mate Haka" that rugby players in New Zealand (and apparently the real-life Highland team) do? I had to Wiki this when I got home because I was so simultaneously confused/impressed (which, interestingly, is how the opposing teams all seemed to feel throughout the movie). Here's a link, if you're down.
Overall, not a bad way to spend a downpour. A bit too contrived and cheesy, and it felt like it went on for 3 hours (in reality, it is just under 2), but, I cried and cursed cheating and unsportsmanlike behavior under my breath a few times, and lots of boys got dirty and bloody. What more can you really ask for from a feel-good sports movie?
My (and Jen's) awesome friend Sam and I took advantage of the neverending downpours to spend Saturday night at the movies. We're not what you'd consider huge movie-goers (my 'I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ...' list tends to have between zero and two movies on it, and they generally include zombies, a natural disaster, a serial killer or an Olsen twin), so we had absolutely no idea what was even showing, but a quick search pointed us in the direction of the nearest feel-good, tear-jerker sports movie, because, who can't get behind that?
As we were sneaking in our purchased-off-the-premises lattes, Sam said, "Oh, you know what? I think I have heard of this already. Dan from Gossip Girl is in it." I proceeded to shove my latte at her, flail around for a little while, and then text Jen this exciting news. Response: "OMG! I WANT TO SEE THAT!" And so, my entirely qualified review:
It was borderline, as in I certainly cried, but I also laughed more than once when I'm pretty sure nothing was meant to be funny. Theatre-wise, I would recommend it in case of a downpour and no current zombie option. Netflix-wise, sure. Free-on-TV-wise, absolutely. Purchase-wise, no. It's uplifting in the vein of "Remember the Titans," but does not come close to the Personal Movie Shelf-worthiness of such gems as "Miracle" and "Friday Night Lights" (the movie, as movies are the point of this post, and, plus, I have not seen the tv show).
Rugby is apparently America's Next Favorite Sport, but, well, I seem to remember them saying that about soccer rather recently and look how that's working out. Anyway, judging from this movie (and I'm told this movie does not, in fact, do real rugby justice and rugby aficionados will scoff) it is quite the nasty, badass sport, and should I ever come into possession of a boyfriend who participates in this sport, I will alternate between parading him around like the sheer AWESOME that he is, and rocking back and forth in the fetal position while I stress about his various important bones being crunched and his face getting ripped off. So, you know. Hockey but even scarier. Or, I guess, as Some Dude in the movie says, "so it's kinda like football AND soccer." Except then the main guy is like "it's kinda like RUGBY." Ha. Love sports movies. But anyway, yeah, so, rugby's badass and it's undeniable because, really. They more than once make jokes about lacrosse being for sissies, so, right.
So, in a nutshell, there's this bad boy rugby star (henceforth Our Hero) in Arizona, playing for his Evil Dad's team. You know Evil Dad's super-assy because he doesn't even shake the rival coach's hand after the game. Plus, he's got really creepy eyes. Our Hero and his friends/teammates (including Dan, with ridiculous chin fuzz, whose character's name is LARS! LARS!) are all rich, drunk brats with attitudes and pharmaceutical addictions, and they have parties and hot chicks and drive drunk a lot.
The latter gets Our Hero thrown in juvie in Salt Lake City, where a Goonie saves his life by forcing him to play rugby with the way awesomer rival rugby team of his Assy Arizona team. Of course, Highland, as this team is called, is full of the exact opposite type of kids as the Assy Arizona team. They work out 35 hours a day and don't drink, drug, or sex anything, and they also plant trees and read to cancer patients. Meanwhile, their coach is the coolest man alive and saves the lives of millions boys by non-coaching them from a lawn chair.
Obviously Our Hero hates everything for a while and eats Vicoden out of a rugby ball that Dan sent him, but eventually he comes around and everyone loves him except for this one guy who was in "Miracle" but that's mostly because Our Hero keeps hitting on his sister, who is this crazy platinum blonde cross between Jessica Alba and Mandy Moore. He is so adored he becomes team captain, and eventually the team (with a small time out for a tear-jerking tragedy) is on their way to nationals, where they will, of course, be playing Assy Arizona!
But of course, Evil Dad shows up and announces that Our Hero has been sprung from juvie for good behavior, and has to come home and tell Assy Arizona all of Holy Highland's secrets.
I will let you guess what happens.
I will also let you ponder what CRAZY twist could possibly occur concerning Evil Dad and Holy Highland's Savior Coach.
BUT DID I MENTION, that Holy Highland does this super-cool, super-intimidating "Ka mate Haka" that rugby players in New Zealand (and apparently the real-life Highland team) do? I had to Wiki this when I got home because I was so simultaneously confused/impressed (which, interestingly, is how the opposing teams all seemed to feel throughout the movie). Here's a link, if you're down.
Overall, not a bad way to spend a downpour. A bit too contrived and cheesy, and it felt like it went on for 3 hours (in reality, it is just under 2), but, I cried and cursed cheating and unsportsmanlike behavior under my breath a few times, and lots of boys got dirty and bloody. What more can you really ask for from a feel-good sports movie?
Friday, September 19, 2008
S, B and G Design Shoes To Fight Ovarian Cancer
Posted by: Jen
So, Stuart Weitzman is having a charity auction to benefit ovarian cancer by auctioning off shoes designed by celebrities. Of course, Blake, Leighton and Michelle were all asked to contribute:
Georgina would totally wear these and then stab you with them. I kind of feel like Michelle T. really WANTS to be Georgina, or be taken seriously, or something, and these kind of bore me.
Leighton's. Awesome. Ugly, but awesome. I am now officially convinced that she would be the most fun to hang out with, but would probably just make fun of me instead of be my friend, and that's ok! She's one of the cool kids.
Yes, Serena, cover your shoes in candy. Sigh. OBVIOUSLY.
Anyway, it IS a really good cause and if I had $400 to spend on a really ugly shoe, I would totally want to fight ovarian cancer. I totally get the feeling that all of these will be snatched up by creepy dudes who live in their mom's basements and have life sized cardboard cutouts of their favorite actress next to their bed (yo, did you SEE the going rate for the Sarah Michelle Gellar shoe? You know some freaky Buffy fan is all over that shit), and not those who want to cure cancer.
So, Stuart Weitzman is having a charity auction to benefit ovarian cancer by auctioning off shoes designed by celebrities. Of course, Blake, Leighton and Michelle were all asked to contribute:
Georgina would totally wear these and then stab you with them. I kind of feel like Michelle T. really WANTS to be Georgina, or be taken seriously, or something, and these kind of bore me.
Leighton's. Awesome. Ugly, but awesome. I am now officially convinced that she would be the most fun to hang out with, but would probably just make fun of me instead of be my friend, and that's ok! She's one of the cool kids.
Yes, Serena, cover your shoes in candy. Sigh. OBVIOUSLY.Anyway, it IS a really good cause and if I had $400 to spend on a really ugly shoe, I would totally want to fight ovarian cancer. I totally get the feeling that all of these will be snatched up by creepy dudes who live in their mom's basements and have life sized cardboard cutouts of their favorite actress next to their bed (yo, did you SEE the going rate for the Sarah Michelle Gellar shoe? You know some freaky Buffy fan is all over that shit), and not those who want to cure cancer.
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