Twilight Takes Over The World! Or At Least Mine, Because As We Have Discussed, It Already Has Or Whatever!

Posted by: Kim

Disclaimer: My Baby Bro Ben is visiting and I kindly purchased him his beverage of choice in handle form, which is bourbon, of all things, and so now we're both drunk.

So, at this very moment I am watching the completely (and deservedly so, because it's awesome) acceptable-by-television-snobs Top Chef finale (Team Carla! Whoo dee whoo![?] What? She's toast. But I love her!) However, immediately preceding this very moment, I may or may not have been watching American Idol. Again. Ahem.

Now, when the first season of American Idol aired, I was studying abroad in London, and so I missed it entirely. As in I arrived back in the States, and in the summer of 2003 was driving around and heard Kelly Clarkson's 'A Moment Like This' and was all, "Um, what the hell is this crap?" (obvi I am now a fan, that song was her singular weak moment) and thus began my understanding.

However I never watched.

Until last week.

And then tonight.

BUT. I have had friends who consistently OMG ADORE OBSESSIVELY it. And they all have one thing in common: They HATE HATE HATE the musical theatre types, and LOOOOVE the 'edgy rocker' types that show up to compete. And then I proceed to hear David Cook on the radio and be like, "meh, 100% meh" and they are all, "BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR HIM SING 'HELLO!!!1!!11!!!!!!OMFG" and I'm all "so it IS glorified karaoke for hipsters who are too cool for musicals! A-HA!"

***** TIME OUT***** Hosea just won Top Chef. Um, snore. Aside from the time he made the crispy salmon rolls, I remember nothing. It should have been Stefan. Not that I like him. But he is better. Whatever.

Okay, back. Right, so, American Idol is no place for Broadway singers. Except ... it is a singing competition, yes? Well, I mean, it's also a beauty pageant, but, Broadway singers tend to be cutie pies, so. Anyway. All I'm saying is, enjoy musicals or not (and for the record, 90% of the time I do not -- ask Jen, we share a mutual issue with suspension of disbelief, and often -- exhibit A, Twilight 4 -- mine is even stronger than hers), Broadway-style singers tend to have the best voices.

AND OMG I HAVE A TOTAL CRUSH ON ADAM LAMBERT NOW WTF THANKS AMERICAN IDOL.

Like, the Pete Wentz look is not really my type (I mean, if the princess dress/pearl/J.Crew gushing and discussions of Nantucket and Chace Crawford hasn't yet given it away, I'm destined for matrimony with a stockbroker or perhaps a professional lacrosse player), and, I'll just throw it out there: despite the fact that "Wild Horses" unfailingly makes me cry in a good way every time I hear it, and I obviously like "Ruby Tuesday" because I'm human, I am not even that big of a Rolling Stones fan, so please don't quiz me on albums. BUT OMG. That was so fun! He was so great! His voice is fantastic! His flatironed hair is amazing!

AND THEN RANDY JACKSON TOOK IT TO THE TWILIGHT PLACE.

TWILIGHT RULES THE WORLD!

And, whilst Ryan compared him to Edward Cullen (what?), I would like to point out that Randy was comparing him to R.Pattz ... um, R. Patz? ... RPattz!zz! Robert Pattinson! Who, because maybe one other time or 17 while I was drunk I stalked a little, I know sings (I'm sure this is not news to anyone but me, so pick on something else and let me roll with it please, haters) -- BUT DOES RANDY KNOW THAT?! Seriously. Someone clarify. What was going on? Was he comparing Adam singing 'Satisfaction' to RPattz singing on the Twilight soundtrack? Cause I mean, they sounded nothing alike, aside from both awesome. Or was he talking about their mutual affection for strategically tousled hair?

DOES IT EVEN MATTER? NO. I loved this guy, and then Randy called him Edward. I mean R Pattz. I am clearly paraphrasing wherever the hell I see fit at this point. ANYWAY.

Sold. I have my American Idol. Call me, Adam. Let's go out. Or ... go shopping.

Oh, also, in addition to my new American Idol boyfriend (please, no one call me with examples of him singing the Jesus Christ Superstar score or something I have no interest in hearing, I DON'T CARE, LET ME HAVE MY FANTASY) I voted for the girl who sang 'Alone' and the girl who sang 'Bette Davis Eyes' simply because those are two of my karaoke signatures (Jen sang 'Alone' with me once, and she loved it. She can't deny.). Rock on, karaoke idols.