Jess and Ed 'Hide' Their Relationship in Plain Sight!

Posted by: Kim

Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.

(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)

Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!


She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.

Interrupting my unintentional blog neglect to say ...

Posted by: Kim

Dear Gossip Girl writers:

1) Okay. I get it. You, or someone who pays you, has a giant hard-on for Vanessa. Probably the same someone with a giant hard-on for all the boring Brooklyn-based characters in this show about Upper East Siders (the only one I give a pass to is Jenny, because her storylines are interesting and despite her tendency to be obnoxious, she's probably the most realistically-portrayed character on the whole show). I could rant on that for a while, but, meh. Point? You can't make me like her. So while I accept that she's not getting written off the show any time soon, PLEASE STOP TRYING TO FORCE IT SO HARD OMFG! Ugh. So her raison d'etre is that she's Nate's One True Luv? And she finally comes down off her high, high horse and admits she was wrong ... when she is presented with material gifts! Oh, how moral and refreshingly down-to-earth. Heh. Also, blech. You JUST started developing Nate's character in the last episode, so while he may be obscenely hot and while it was 70% adorable (30% yucky) that he kissed her while she was leaking snot down her face, I don't buy the looooove. It got lost after they were cute and normally developed for 13 seconds and then abandoned immediately last season. Ew, V, go back to Vermont, you stupid judgey letter-stealy bitch.

2) Um, so, Jen just texted me V+N 4Eva! Apparently I lose.

I forget what else I was going to say.

3) Oh yeah. Lily's dress intrigued me greatly. Blair looked pretty. Blair's twin did as well. Everyone else, um, Swan Lake much? Oh, but also? Chuck's twin? With the Chuck mouth/Chuck face? Incredible. Like you could actually see that Ed Westwick was not 'acting' his amusement and was just straight up laughing at the kid. Awesome.

4) Rufus/Lily bore me as well.

In Which We Foresee The Future:

Posted by: Kim and Jen



Jennifer: if they actually did a vampire GG episode, I would probably die of happiness
Kim: HAHAHAHA
write it up, pitch it to josh schwartz.
Jennifer: I could, it will be for season 4, when GG inevitably goes crazy and gets cancelled
Kim: yes. that's totally what's happening.
like, right after vanessa and blair start dating and serena overdoses and dies.
Jennifer: like the last season of the OC, when Marissa was dead, and it was all, what, now we have to watch Summer and Seth and random sister
Kim: chuck and nate will turn into vampires.
Kim: i didn't like marissa anyway, she was totes the weak link.
it's like how i feel gg keeps telling me i care about rufus/lily vanessa, jenny, etc.
i really don't
well, i do like jenny most of the time, her storylines are good.
Jennifer: you know season 4 it will be the rufus/lily/v/jenny show right
Kim: but really im totally like BSNC, that's all i really care about.
Jennifer: S and B will have gone on to film
Kim: yeah. sigh. prob next season, jenny will be the star. and rufus and lily are like lead couple. i wont like it anymore.
Jennifer: yeah, sigh, dan will still be there
Ed Westwick will have OD'd in real life
Kim: awwww
but yeah
Jennifer: Chace will be handcuffed to my bed
Kim: YES
Jennifer: hahahaha
Kim: or at least have given up on 'acting'and been a model, like he was designed for.
duh, chace.
Jennifer: he screams Dolce and Gabbana to me -- like, he is their print ad boy
maybe even Versace, cause he's a little tacky but sooooooo pretty
Kim: yes. they can just slick back his hair pilot-style and pile on the blush.
Jennifer: yup, I'm envisioning a velor red blazer, tighty whities and big leather boots
Kim: ew
Jennifer: that's what they do! I didn't create it!
Kim: it was like, the unprettiest vision of chace imagineable, lol
Jennifer: but he'll make millions
Kim: oh yeah, and i mean, i'll still wallpaper my ceiling, it will just take me a few minutes.
Jennifer: and then successfully foray back into acting by being Samantha's boy toy in the 5th Sex and The City movie
Kim: oh, their futures are so bright: blake will have had 2 facelifts by the time she's 29
leighton ... i don't know. in theory she should be okay, but i could see her leaving gg to do movies and then not getting work again ever and just being D-list with carter baizen.
and vanessa will obviously disappear.
or be on GG, the new class.
Jennifer: a teacher at the prep school
Kim: yes, exactly. possibly married to dan.
or a lesbian.
Jennifer: eric is already gay
they used that one too early
Kim: oh, he'll be fine though.
he'll leave at like the end of this season to go win 4 oscars and cure aids.
i love eric.

When Photoshop attacks

Posted by: Kim

Oh, dear god.

I think it's fairly obvious to anyone who has ever seen her before that Blake Lively is neither (1) a demon; or (2) a life-sized Barbie doll, complete with arms that snap off at the shoulder. Oh, W, W, W. How could you do this to our Serena? She's supposed to be pretty.

Another issue: Why is she dressed in what looks like it could easily line up in contention for My Birthday Dress of 2008 ... until you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the cover and see that it's a ... bright red pantsuit with a strapless, empire-waist baby doll top? Is that what it is?

Because it's either that or a strapless, empire-waist baby doll "dress" the likes and length of which even Little Jenny Humphrey hasn't even been bold enough to attempt, paired with ... red tights. ("TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" -- Blair Waldorf)

But I can't tell, because that American flag is obstructing my view and, have I mentioned how fucking distracting her dislocated ARM is?!

Anyway. In other scandalous S news, last night's Gossip Girl was good enough, because, well, it is Gossip Girl and can never be bad, but sort of failed to impress as much as anticipated, what with Chuck not killing Dan, CreepyGrossAaron seducing Serena with photos of herself, and Jenny inexplicably screaming about how nuts Agnes is instead of knocking the bitch down and running off with her dresses (seriously, it was taking the girl 20 minutes to light the damn match anyway). But at least Wallace Shawn was in there being inconceivably awesome (ha. ha.) and Blair coined our (and by our, I mean the collective female population) new mantra, "I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me." And next week we're all thankful for Nate Archibald! Whee!

Oh, and another thing about GG:

Posted by: Kim

Nate and Jenny? I mean I guess we knew it was coming (but I guess I was also sort of hoping Josh Schwartz would surprise us) and I guess Nate and Jenny are kind of cute (although she, most certainly, was far cuter pre-turning into a raccoon) but, overall? ICKY.

I can't get past it. Kiddie porn! Kiddie porn! I mean, you can't cast some grownups to play teenagers AND some children to play teenagers and THEN LET THEM ACT LIKE TEENAGERS TOGETHER IN THE SEX KIND OF WAY. I mean, okay, so I know they just kissed, but, like, really. I'm so sure it will end there. ICKY. Like, either be Degrassi or be every other show about teenagers, but, eep.

I've been looking for an awesome gold dress ...

Posted by: Kim

Nicole Ritchie looks awesome and I want this dress:



In other news, I wanted to go look for pictures from tonight's Gossip Girl solely because I almost fell out of my seat when B sent C the "You win. Tonight." text (you know, pre-Dan Humphrey sucks, pre-America's collective heart breaks) and he received it while descending a staircase wearing a purple sweater and was totally the Hottest. Thing. Ever. I swear I'm a Nate girl, but, what? Maybe I'm not anymore? (Right, like that's even possible). But wardrobe is doing something way right this season with the Bass-tard, cause boy looks good walking away ... and approaching. And ... always. So yeah, either they've stepped up or they were doing something wrong by Ed Westwick last season, because I did not used to drool this much. I don't even know what I'm saying at this point, but, damn. Purple sweater. I know Jen approves of purple.

Anyway, right, I wanted to go look for pictures, but, I think I will wait until they come to me and go watch baseball until I fall asleep instead. Computers are hurting my eyes lately.

Also, I don't want the Phillies to win the World Series. That is all.

Nate And Little J? Ew.

Posted by: Jen

My my, Little J running around with a Corey Kennedy inspired Marissa's little sister with an Asian hipster "photographer" shooting them a la Last Night's Party. Hellooooo 2005, I forgot about you! Anyway, anyway, Nate, seeing that things were going awry, and unable to formulate a sentence quickly enough to keep Jenny from leaving into the dark Brooklyn night with the long lost members of the Mishapes, charges after her, rescues her from dancing in her underwear (so, if we've learned anything from S, blow and porn were soon to follow, so plus 1 for N) and then KISSES her. Are we supposed to swoon, because I gagged a little. And I know Nate is supposed to be sort of age appropriate on the show for Little J, but I kind of felt like I was watching the start of the eventual real-life porno that will come out. You know, after Taylor Momsen goes to rehab.

Chace Channels... Everyone. And Looks Incredible As Usual.

Posted by: Jen

Well well, there is my pretty pretty friend all dolled up on the cover of a magazine I have never heard of. What is that? Chuck's bow-tie? Dylan's hair? Dawson's plaid flannel (ok, that one was a reach, but you know what I am going for here)?

Can we take a minute to talk about his eyebrows? They are AMAZING! Do you think he waxes/threads/plucks? No real human can have such flawless eyebrows, and I know this as fact based on my never ending battle with mine. In real life, my eyebrow inspiration is Jennifer Connolly, and I was actually doing quite well until I decided they were uneven, so I tried to shape them and now they are just thinner and STILL uneven (sigh), which brings me back to my original question -- how does he get them so perfect?!

"I'll Fight You for It." - Jen, Re: Red Missoni scarf

Posted by: Kim

Urgent! A question about tonight's Gossip Girl!

Someone with a quicker eye or a greater Missoni appreciation: In that last scene at Yale-umbia, with B & S and the two outifts I did NOT enjoy ... (You know. That hat. I like a 20s throwback more than most and I wasn't feeling it, but I digress) ... was Blair rocking (or not rocking) a Missoni print dress? Because on Saturday Jen and I totally discussed how Blair would not wear Missoni! As in, we were drunk and running around draped in Missoni scarves that did not belong to us, and that came up. Followed by something about Gucci and equestrian patterns. Or that could have come first. True story. Anyway, so now she maybe just did. Wear Missoni, I mean. Wtf.

In other news, the string-quartet arrangement of Muse's "Time Is Running Out"? Well, that was awesome.

Quote Of The Day! Also, I Accidentally Come Off As Really Creepy!

Posted by: Jen

And without further ado, the Quote of the Day (or week, because Palin hasn't been interviewed lately):

"Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface'. So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface." -- Chace Crawford on the public criticism of his thespian skillz in this month's Details magazine

Dan: Slack-jawed
Chuck: Brooding
Nate: Pure sex

Um, so Chace, some of those things may or may not be true, but you DO NOT have gayface. Trust me. Because I want to lick it.

Photographic Evidence!

Posted by: Jen



Um, so I feel pathetic, but there you have it: Drew Barrymore and Ed Westwick making out at the Kings of Leon concert in NY. This photo comes after a flurry of sightings on Gawker and Page 6 about D making out with both E and CHACE, which turned out not to be true. Only Ed. Nothing more to say here because this is vaguely stalker-y and embarassing to post. Ho-hum. Also, excellent work Drew. Carry on.

LOLZ. The End Of The World.

Posted by: Jen


So in like, a few hours, the world's largest particle accelerator will be turned on AND critics and crazies alike claim that this could create a GIANT BLACK HOLE thus ending life as we know it.

Actually, doomsday predictions aside, this gadget (not really a gadget at all as it takes up 17 miles of space under the French and Swiss borders) is actually pretty cool:

"Experts say the collider has the potential to confirm theories about questions that physicists have been working on for decades including the possible existence of extra dimensions. They also hope to find a theoretical particle called the Higgs boson, which has never been detected, but would help explain why matter has mass.

The collider will recreate the conditions of less than a millionth of a second after the Big Bang, when there was a hot "soup" of tiny particles called quarks and gluons, to look at how the universe evolved, said John Harris, U.S. coordinator for ALICE, a detector specialized to analyze that question.

Since this is exploratory science, the collider may uncover surprises that contradict prevailing theories, but which are just as interesting, said Joseph Lykken, theoretical physicist at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory."

Heh. I am strangely apathetic about this whole end of the world scenario (but totally psyched about the experiment, because, YAY SCIENCE) and if I weren't so apathetic I would think it was kind of awesome. I mean, come on people, death by black hole suckage has got to be one of the top ten most rad ways to go. I stand by my statement.

T-5 Days!

Posted by: Jen

For your viewing pleasure, a recap of last season of GG and THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THE NEW EPISODE (and then a preview of that stupid looking new show about a tutor or whatever, feh, poor man's GG if you ask me). YES!