Jess and Ed 'Hide' Their Relationship in Plain Sight!

Posted by: Kim

Okay, so, despite the pictures of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr making out at the Knicks game, haters and fangirls alike continue to denounce their relationship as faux on account of either, 1) ED IS OMFG LIKE SO MUCH GAY WITH CHACE; or 2) Ewwwwwwww! Vanessa! No no no no no! No Vanessa! I hate Vanessa and love Blair so much that I cannot draw the line between fantasy and reality and CHUCK CANNOT DATE VANESSA.

(I mean, it's no secret that I hate Vanessa. But I don't hate Jessica, duh. But then again, I am 10 whole years older than this show's target demographic. But then again AGAIN ... I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority of what the demographic actually is, so, ladies (and gentlemen). Grow up. It's time at 26. It's time at 24. I digress.)

Anyway, Vanessica, as I like to call her as of this afternoon, appears to have taken matters into her own hands, and while she's still not talking, she is sending the world a blatant message of the claim she has staked by wearing The Chuck Bass Scarf out in real life!!!11!


She has branded herself and I approve! Even though that scarf isn't even cute on Chuck himself, whatever. I like the subliminal messages, Jess. Keep it up.

On All The Anonymous Hate Vomit

Posted by: Kim and Jen

Kim: i am really confused. seriously. do i know that person?

Jennifer: you have to
you get so much hate

Kim: because the anonymouses are always calling me out on being things that
are not indicated by the post AT ALL
so i feel like it has to be personal
how does someone not adore me?!
jk

Jennifer: maybe you defriended them on facebook

Kim: omg
i do do that

Jennifer: i do too

For The Haters: Last Week, We Had An Aspiration

Posted by: Kim and Jen

P.S. Garrett, we love you. Call us. Guest blog. XOXO!

Kimberley: I really believe most people (who say they love their jobs) are lying anyway. "oh, i looooooove underwriting insurance/programming software/defending criminals/pushing papers." shut up, liar. you do not, and you would happily collect your pay without working if that were possible. you are NOT excited about work in the morning. and you do not feel like you are making a difference.

like, baseball players love their jobs. and travel writers.

and food critics.

that's all.

Jennifer: yeah lets be traveling food writers who sleep with baseball players.

Kimberley: OH MY GOD.

Jennifer: yes, I am smart.

Kimberley: i have never known exactly what i wanted to be when i grow up, until RIGHT NOW.

Jennifer: it would be so fun.

"today we are going to italy to eat pasta! yum.

and we're bringing the entire boston red sox with us."

Kimberley: yes, yes, yes. see our blog for documentation. and we are a STEAL at just 250K/year.

Jennifer: oh I would do it for nothing, basically.

like if they paid travel and our job is eating.

I'd take 30k.

because you wouldn't have to pay rent or for food.

Kimberley: that is like 1 DVF dress/season.

that'd work, I suppose.

but she'd prob dress us anyway.

Jennifer: haha ok, let's ask for 80.

just because.

Kimberley: yes!

i can't wait to grow up

My Cat Is Using My Purse As A Scratching Post!

Posted by: Jen

She is a little booger. Anyway, I had a lot of thoughts to post, but nothing that would really manifest itself into a real full post, so I decided to make a list:

1. If I could achieve any resemblance to the Dismissive Look a la Blair for my daily confrontations with duchesses, socialites and maids (or you know, when fighting for a seat on the train), I would be golden. Seriously, that look cuts: eyebrows slightly raised, head cocked, and the look that says "I am through here, off with you." I need to perfect that. And then use it to render my enemies powerless.

2. I am kind of mad that Rosanna of Fox 5 News at 10 went to the morning show. I watch the news at 10 FOR Rosanna and Ernie and their thinly veiled, hate-filled friendly banter! Now I have to suffer through Ernie slinging "friendly" barbs at a poor man's Rosanna with a bad dye job and giant veneers. I did not ask for this; I do not want this. I want to hear about the lost Yorkie in Queens from both of them!

3. OH. And speaking of animals, today a man (ok so he is totally one who raves in his spare time, I swear, just to give you a visual) came on the L holding a small kitten that was gripping his shirt with all of its might, saying that he was collecting money for some animal shelter. I call bullshit, because obviously if he wanted to help animals he wouldn't be scaring the crap out of a tiny kitten while putting it in a potentially dangerous situation by bringing it on the train without a carrier! I never bother with the crazies and I was totally ready to say something, but then I was worried about the kitten (what if he really did hurt it?!) so I didn't. Everyone hug your cat tonight and be happy they aren't being used as a ploy to steal hard earned money from old ladies, people with cancer, and all of the other nice people out there to score E for the next Mother Fucker. Jerk.

4. Confession: Tonight I ate frosted mini wheats for dinner and a bag of popcorn for dessert. I am a grownup.

5. Also, YES! We got hate mail and I am so excited. After all, you're not really important until you have some haters. And according to our grammatically challenged friend, I am the less dumb/ugly one (Kim is the more dumb/not as ugly one, but don't be fooled by those details, we're both totes stupid). Remember ladies, the lesson that our hater wants you to bring home is that the smarter you are, the uglier you are. Now go bake something and stop thinking! XOXO

PS: I do not hate Lauren's dress but I now officially hate her for calling herself a designer. There is nothing new or interesting about this at all (besides the fact that I really hope she is wearing a bra because she looks like she is having a moment of slippage) and I think people are really giving her too much credit (or you know, a job). Oh hey, I just took my (bright pink) bed sheet, wrapped it around myself and pinned it with a giant safety pin. I'm a designer too!!! Also, I just took a shower so my hair is wet and it is INTENTIONAL because I am a visionary and wet hair will be The Look in Sping '09.