OMG, no really. Why? More horror from pre-fashion week.

Posted by: Kim

Okay, you guys? Tell me if I'm wrong, but Taylor Momsen is really pretty, right? (Btw, Jen stumbled upon her in person once and almost peed on her boyfriend and immediately sent me a frantic text, in case you didn't know.)

SO SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE.


Why why why?

Now, I'm going to go out on a limb that might make Jen cancel our friendship on the spot here and just throw it out there that I don't even hate this Marchesa gown. I mean, I could never in 85 billion years wear it, because I'm 5'3" and would look like a 4-year-old on my way to bed and also I would totally trip, like, 73 times (but I still rock my purple maxi dress, I swear), but Little J here is obviously tall and perfect and stunning and someone who can pull this off and look like a goddess, and I'm inexplicably still not tired of the flowy drapey romantic Grecian look, and sea foam is a pastel I've always been more embracing of, and, ANYWAY, WHATEVER, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF IT'S A PRETTY DRESS:

Why does she look like Courtney Love? Dead Courtney Love? Strung out Courtney Love (wait...)? Why does she look strung out? WHY DOES SHE LOOK DEAD?

Taylor. :(

(I do like her lipstick)

Drunken Rant: Hey 303, Go Fuck Yourself!

Posted by: Jen

Ok, so wasn't going to blog because I went to happy hour and kept going and it's 2am, but then I got home and was eating delicious delicious Life cereal while watching stupid Carson Daily because Gideon Yago was on and I was interested because he is a legit reporter and then they went to the musical guest which was this band called 303 and I have no idea what it means but I am assuming it is an area code -- wait let me google it -- IT IS AND IT'S DENVER -- came on and OH MAN were they offensive/lame.

Ok, ok, ok. I know that last paragraph was a run-on sentence but work with me, I've had like eleventeen drinks and am trying. so. hard. to. type. properly. These dumb Colorado dudes had puppets and were dressed up as a fireman and a police officer and the song that they sang contained the following lyrics:

"Don't trust a ho
Never trust a ho
Won't trust a ho, that won't trust me

Shhhh girl, shut your lips
Do the Hellen Keller
And talk with your hips "

And I was like, YO, DENVER, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Like who the fuck does that? OMG. And all of the horrible LA people that go to Carson's stupid show were like rocking out in their Kitson and I almost choked on my Life cereal. I find these lyrics to be ridiculously retarded/offensive, especially coming from two ugly dudes who can barley sing and clearly got signed because their "thing" was puppets. Like really, really? HELLEN KELLER? Oh jesus. EPIC FUCKING FAIL.

Eric Will Not Be Getting His Own Show

Posted by: Jen

So that pesky rumor about a Gossip Girl spin off that was making us all nervous about which character would leave the show and commit career/show suicide by breaking up the pure magic that is GG? Totally true! But fear not everyone, Chuck is NOT leaving. And Eric is not getting his own show -- he seemed like the only logical one to me, because he is underused and totally awesome!!!

From Star Magazine:

"A network insider says the spin-off will center around the younger lives of Blake Lively and Penn Badgely's on-screen parents, played by Kelly Rutherford and Matthew Settle.

"The show will focus on the early romance between Lily and Rufus," says the insider. "It begins when they first meet, during a time when Rufus and his band are at the height of their career. The show will follow the high society and rock 'n' roll lifestyle in New York."

...The source denies rumors that an original cast member will be leaving the show to join the spin-off. Instead, two new actors will be hired to play the young Lily and Rufus. Producers are planning to introduce the new couple during a flashback scene in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl."

Well, that actually doesn't sound like it will totally suck, as long as they make young Rufus and Lily waaaay more interesting. But I mean, an 80's version of Gossip Girl, with 80's New York and 80's fashion? Well, well Josh Schwartz, you've sparked my interest...

Two Videos You Will DIE Over!!!1

Posted by: Jen

Hooolllyyy shit. It's a hedgehog, eating a carrot, and somebody filmed it, and then put it up on YouTube! I die. I die I die I die!



And if you thought it couldn't get ANY better, I give you "Hamster on a Piano, Eating Popcorn", the musical:



For realz, I DO believe in Santa because this is all I want for Christmas!

A Combo Of Elvira and Laura Ingalls Wilder

Posted by: Jen

OH WOW, what is this? A boobie dress with a dash of FLDS thrown in for fun? And do I detect (presumably knee high) leather pointy toed boots underneath that dress? How is she so confidently striking the teapot pose in this? Maybe Blake is a better actress than we thought! Or maybe she is now letting her GG stylist dress her in real life.

Update: After talking further about my horror at this monstrosity with Kim, I can now seriously say that this is the Ugliest Dress I Have Ever Seen. There, I said it.

But really, really! This is like Angela Chase's dream winter formal dress or something my kindergarten teacher wore in 1987. I can't get over it. SO BAD.

Because Animal Pictures GO With Political Posts

Posted by: Jen

I looked almost as cute today when I was voting!

WHEN WILL THIS DAY BE OVER I HATE WAITING IT DRIVES ME CRAZY OMG OMG OMG!!!1

My plans tonight are 1.) Go for a run 2.) Go to bar and watch blue states light up 3.) Depending on outcome of how many blue states light up, run into street cheering wildly or drink more.

Whitney Port Shows She Has Learned Nothing From Diane, New York

Posted by: Jen

Oh look everyone, Whitney was back in LA yesterday looking like... Oh I don't even know, HELL? I was trying to think of something funny and it involved the phrase "80's puking up all over her" but JESUS, this is no time to be funny. Whitney, I liked you better before when you were well dressed and uninteresting. Now you're poorly dressed and uninteresting, well done. What would Diane say? What would Lauren say? Please tell me this is for Halloween and you are going as Vito, the kid from my Jr. High that thought he was super cool and everyone jokingly voted in as School Spirit Club leader, because he dressed like this every day and it wasn't even cool in 1994.

Kim, I Fixed Your Colors!

Posted by: Jen

And now, to quell my rage, a cute animal picture:

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow/My tears like vinegar/Or the bitter blinking yellow/Of an acetic star

Posted by: Jen

OMG, the saddest news EVER. Rupert the baby dear is DEAD after gracing our fair world with his presence for a few days. This is probably how my mother felt when Elvis died.

Life is not fair, the world is cruel and I KNOW ONLY PAIN! I am so glad I wore black today because I am officially in mourning.


Jennifer: OH JESUS
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/10/02/the-saddest-day-of-my-entire-life-realized/
Kim: NO!
Jennifer: omg I am in mourning
Kim: I CANT DEAL WITH THIS AT ALL
Jennifer: all I wanted to do was kiss him on the head
my day is ruined
Kim: i think im breathing improperly
Jennifer: I'm suddenly absolutely sure that there is no god
Oh cute baby deer, whhhhyyyy
Kim: "He’s basically a living, breathing chocolate chip cookie with a halo."
hahaha
omg why did this happen?
Jennifer: it's true, I wanted to put him in my mouth
not chew or anything
but like eat him in a non-murdering kind of way
life is so unfair

Quote Of The Day! Also, I Accidentally Come Off As Really Creepy!

Posted by: Jen

And without further ado, the Quote of the Day (or week, because Palin hasn't been interviewed lately):

"Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface'. So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface." -- Chace Crawford on the public criticism of his thespian skillz in this month's Details magazine

Dan: Slack-jawed
Chuck: Brooding
Nate: Pure sex

Um, so Chace, some of those things may or may not be true, but you DO NOT have gayface. Trust me. Because I want to lick it.

Eeeep!

Posted by: Jen

Eeeep! Leighton, I am going to think about all of the other times you've looked absolutely amazing at events (read: every event) and then combine it with you general kick-ass wardrobe on GG and completely forget that you wore this hideous multi-colored sheet. Carry on.

Oh Man, We Need A Drink SO BAD

Posted by: Kim and Jen
Kim: john picked a lady.
haha
Jennifer: ?
Kim: he's bringing the big guns. like he just got every woman in my office. sheesh. mccain picked his running mate and it's a GIRL
Jennifer: OH
yes
well you know what.
that doesn't convince me that he respects women and I think it shows that he doesn't because he thinks women will go "OH A VAGINA! I WILL VOTE FOR HIM"
fuck that noise
and apparently it works
shit
he plays dirty and I have to say I admire his style
Kim: what 44-year-old woman from alaska is pro-life? wtf.
Jennifer: I KNOW, I KNOW
I'm gonna throw shit
is it official?
I feel like he's copying hillary
Kim: no, he is doing it to get the feminists! the crazy feminists who are mad obama isn't hilary!
it's terrible!
Jennifer: the feminists aren't like that, the feminists know. the only people who wanted hillary and will vote for mccain out of spite are 60+ baby boomers who can't see past their own asses
Kim: there are the crazy ones. i'm reading jezebel. whoo boy. 'i will vote for mccain to prove a point, i suffered bush, i can suffer this.' hi. how about all the women who will actually suffer.
Jennifer: I'm like hyperventilating, this is crazy. look what he had to do to compete with obama!!! you know he wouldn't do it unless he was desperate
Kim: im so angry
Jennifer: I am outraged, it's such a cloying act
fucking a
Kim: all the middle-aged women in my office are like, 'what?! this is fantastic!' omg. omg omg omg.
Jennifer: omg omg omg
Kim: christ. worst night/morning ever. josh beckett's arm is dead and mccain is going to be president. like, i was having a great week as of two days ago! wtf.
Jennifer: fucking a
like the undermining underhandedness is amazing and I have not doubt that john mccain is some kind of super villian. I am so glad I signed up to volunteer for planned parenthood now.
chrisssst
Kim: i cant do work now. i'm busy panicking about the fate of america.
this is terrible... i cant even console myself that he is old and might die. because then we will have a republican bitch prez. wtf. no.
Jennifer: OH MY GOD, THIS IS FUCKED UP