On missing pink. And pretty dresses.

Posted by: Kim

Once upon a time in the fall of 2005, I decided I wanted to dye my hair brunette. Jen was fully on board with this idea and offered to help. To no fault of her (although it is arguable that both of us could have been a little more hasty when considering the possible outcomes of applying very dark brown Duane Reade hair dye to blonde hair), 30 minutes or so later, the water in our shower was running purple.


Thus began my Goth Period, if only in hair. Once in a Starbucks the barista asked if my eyes were fake, so drastic was black hair to my overall appearance. I was pretty much a vampire, before they all had gold eyes instead of just really light eyes.


Anyway, 12 months and numerous visits to a stylist later and I finally had normal colored hair again without massive damage, and now am an adamant salon-goer. And I have achieved several different shades of brunette hair over the past few years, and liked it. However, it doesn't hold well and upkeep is expensive and I am saving all my money to quit life and travel the world, and so finally a few weeks ago I decided to go back.


I have sort of been regretting it ever since, because, despite the fact that blonde is in no way a first-time thing for me, I suddenly find myself convinced that I can wear no colors other than shades of blue, and can confirm in no uncertain terms that my hot pink headband with the palm trees on it seriously loses impact against blonde hair.


So every pretty dress I have encountered over the past week, of course, has been pink.


Up first, Marion Cotillard:




This is just So. Cute. Come on. It is. And it's a spinner, and I want it, and I would probably wear it three times a week including to work and Trader Joes. And I would spin. Alas, convinced it would wash me out right now.

And then we have Blake Lively:



Before someone inevitably and immediately jumps up to inform me that Blake is blonde and I am dumb/shallow/a huge bitch/recession unsympathetic/etc., I know that (she is blonde, not the other stuff). But pretty much if you googled the opposite of what I look like, all thousand feet tall of Blake Lively would probably pop up (except we both have kind of ... abundant ... hair), and so she can do magical mystical pink things I cannot. Also I don't have a spray tan. Anyway. Look how great this is! It is the pinkest thing I have ever seen! And I really like her shoes, and I would also wear this everywhere and glow in the dark and love every second of it. If it would not look absolutely ridiculous on me. Which it would. Sigh.

Btw, pink is not my favorite color. It probably really comes across that way, but I swear I type in pink and Jen in blue because in college when my mother would send us Easter baskets she always themed mine pink and Jen's blue and we found that sort of hilarious.

Confusion.

Posted by: Kim

Last week sometime Jen and I discussed the phenomenon that is Twilight and how thus far this has been another instance of us living under some rock while the rest of the world pees its collective pants about something pop cultural.

This time, though, we came to the conclusion that this might be a bandwagon we could jump on, because we love vampires and pretty people, and the preview for the upcoming Twilight movie looks incredible. Incredible as in good, or incredible as in so bad it comes back around to awesome, well, that is to be determined. But, vampires. Pretty vampires.

Cut to Sunday morning, when I was impulse-purchasing heels at Marshalls (in my defense, Marshalls - I got two pairs that retailed at $85 and $125, respectively, for $40. Total.) and I noticed Twilight the book for sale in the checkout aisle for $7 and I really don't need much enabling, so, I bought that too.

Ahem. I have finished it. Hi, world? Pants-peeing, vamp-lusting, fangirly world? It's not good. And yet, I sort of get it. It's not good, it's not well-written, it's not well-developed plot-wise, and the heroine is rather absurd. But I couldn't put it down, and omfg, it's a series? I need the rest of them!

Right, so it's not good. As I was attempting to explain so to Jen, she said, "so is it bad like The DaVinci Code is bad?" which is the singlemost intelligent, best question she could have asked, and the answer is both yes and no.

Jen and I are the only two people I know who hated The DaVinci Code, but I refuse to believe we are wrong on this. Sorry, Mr. Brown, but you wrote a crappy book that snuck its way atop the best-sellers list and at least two people noticed. Like you care anyway. Enjoy the millions. However, I look up to you as a historian. See, my (and Jen's, though she can correct me if I am wrong) main problem with The DaVinci Code is that it was chock full of incredibly interesting historical (or biblical, if you prefer) allegories and "facts" ... that were then left abandoned and drowning without a prayer amidst an inane, retarded story. End result on my part? Rage. I had to force myself to finish it.

Twilight suffers from a similar problem, in that the historical perspective on the vampire clan, particularly when told from the perspective of the members of the tribal reservation (not to mention their own folklore) is really cool. Aaaand there's about, I don't know, 12 pages dedicated to it out of the 500-plus worth of relatively blahhhh teen drama and somewhat creepy "love" story. However, unlike with The DaVinci Code, teen drama and creepy love stories hold my interest, and so I kept tearing through the pages waiting for the awesome to come. It never did, really, but I'm intrigued enough to keep going. Of course, I'll probably be spitting nails by the time I finish the last book and they've all been shitty. But whatever.

As far as the movie goes? WHEN CAN I GET MY TICKETS?! OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE EDWARD ON SCREEN! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

But, alas. A question:

WHAT?


Okay, of the 500-whatever pages of this book, approximately 492 of them are dedicated to reveling in Edward the sparkly (yes, sparkly - there is an entire passage in which he is sparkling in the sun and it is discussed at length), broody vampire boyfriend's insane, otherworldy beauty. Ummm ... I'm no expert, but Jen and I do also love zombies and we did dress up like zombified versions of the main characters of our favorite TV show of all time (I'll let you envision what you wish) for Halloween, and, um, Edward is really looking a little zombie here. I mean, you know, like early stage zombie, before the decaying is totally complete, and clearly he didn't get bit in the face (as I did, on Halloween), but still. Zombie-esque. AND ZOMBIES AND VAMPIRES ARE NOT THE SAME! To break it down, vampires = hot, zombies = not, this poster = not, this poster = not vampire. Yes? Yes.

Also, quick research informs me that this young man, Robert Pattinson, is in fact about 400 times hotter than this poster conveys. I mean, he's hot in a dirty, mildly creepy "I don't have to shower because I am dirty British rockstar-esque and that is my thing, with my hair grease and cigarettes" kind of way that never totally gets me all hot and bothered but certainly seems to do it for plenty of chicks. But point is, I've seen the preview, and now I've read the book, and while I probably would have sought out Henry Cavill or perhaps Chuck Bass himself, I approve of the casting. I get it. Edward is a vampire, and he is physically supposed to be perfect and painfully beautiful but he is not human, so they had to get someone who is, as I put it earlier and Jen approved, kind of fuckity beautiful. They couldn't just cast Chace Crawford and call it a day. It had to be someone kind of bizarrely attractive, someone variable, who, from the wrong angle or in the wrong light probably runs the risk of coming across as downright ugly, but in the right light and at the right angle is stunning. And I feel like they got it.

SO WHY IS THIS YOUR AD CAMPAIGN?!!!!? OMG.

It gets worse:



WHAT.

Also of note is that they both totally dyed their hair between poster/EW cover? Wtf. At least Bella is a total super-hottie on the EW cover. TOO BAD EDWARD IS NOT AND HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE DEFINITION OF HOT. I am just so confused. His belt is kind of cool, though.

Oh yeah, also, Re: Bella, I don't really care. I don't really care about Bella. I wouldn't be friends with her character in real life, I am pretty sure. This chick appears fine for the job.

I can't wait to see this movie.

And Jen? Vampire B&S? It could work ...

Another contender for My Birthday Party Dress of 2008

Posted by: Kim


1) Hey, America Ferrera looks fantastic. Yay, America!

2) Um, I can has?

3) It's Oscar de la Renta. I suppose I can't has.

4) Jen, don't you have those shoes?

5) Really, though. Can somebody point me in the direction of a knockoff/ripoff/something you made yourself that looks exactly like that and you want to give to me/some free money?

People are being jerks today, so I'm looking at dresses instead of working.

Posted by: Kim

Dear Whoever Purchased My Birthday Party Dress of 2008,

Give it back. I need it. Unless you've been stuck with a Christmas-week birthday for going on 27 years too, you don't deserve it as much as I do.

XOXO,
Kim

The amazing site I found this on is here, and I would wear roughly 75% of these dresses. Unfortunately, roughly 85% of them call for a 23-inch waist. I know waistlines were higher back in the day, but ... I'm still thinking no.

I've been looking for an awesome gold dress ...

Posted by: Kim

Nicole Ritchie looks awesome and I want this dress:



In other news, I wanted to go look for pictures from tonight's Gossip Girl solely because I almost fell out of my seat when B sent C the "You win. Tonight." text (you know, pre-Dan Humphrey sucks, pre-America's collective heart breaks) and he received it while descending a staircase wearing a purple sweater and was totally the Hottest. Thing. Ever. I swear I'm a Nate girl, but, what? Maybe I'm not anymore? (Right, like that's even possible). But wardrobe is doing something way right this season with the Bass-tard, cause boy looks good walking away ... and approaching. And ... always. So yeah, either they've stepped up or they were doing something wrong by Ed Westwick last season, because I did not used to drool this much. I don't even know what I'm saying at this point, but, damn. Purple sweater. I know Jen approves of purple.

Anyway, right, I wanted to go look for pictures, but, I think I will wait until they come to me and go watch baseball until I fall asleep instead. Computers are hurting my eyes lately.

Also, I don't want the Phillies to win the World Series. That is all.

Too tired too function. Will mindlessly daydream up places to wear couture instead of attempting social interaction and/or general human activity.

Posted by: Kim

Weird week, too much work, too fast, too much vodka, too much talking to people I didn't think I'd be talking to, too much apologizing for things that don't matter, too much cold, too much Claritin, not enough glasses of water per day, and where the hell is my amazing Sephora lip gloss?!

I like next week better already, but, until then, here's a really pretty dress:


Reese Witherspoon in November Vogue.

Jen, remember when I said you could wear whatever dress you wanted in my wedding party? I changed my mind. It might be black tie, and this might be the MOH and BM requirement. I'm sure you won't feel like paying your rent that year anyway.