Posted by: Kim
Oh, dear god.
I think it's fairly obvious to anyone who has ever seen her before that Blake Lively is neither (1) a demon; or (2) a life-sized Barbie doll, complete with arms that snap off at the shoulder. Oh, W, W, W. How could you do this to our Serena? She's supposed to be pretty.
Another issue: Why is she dressed in what looks like it could easily line up in contention for My Birthday Dress of 2008 ... until you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the cover and see that it's a ... bright red pantsuit with a strapless, empire-waist baby doll top? Is that what it is?
Because it's either that or a strapless, empire-waist baby doll "dress" the likes and length of which even Little Jenny Humphrey hasn't even been bold enough to attempt, paired with ... red tights. ("TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" -- Blair Waldorf)
But I can't tell, because that American flag is obstructing my view and, have I mentioned how fucking distracting her dislocated ARM is?!
Anyway. In other scandalous S news, last night's Gossip Girl was good enough, because, well, it is Gossip Girl and can never be bad, but sort of failed to impress as much as anticipated, what with Chuck not killing Dan, CreepyGrossAaron seducing Serena with photos of herself, and Jenny inexplicably screaming about how nuts Agnes is instead of knocking the bitch down and running off with her dresses (seriously, it was taking the girl 20 minutes to light the damn match anyway). But at least Wallace Shawn was in there being inconceivably awesome (ha. ha.) and Blair coined our (and by our, I mean the collective female population) new mantra, "I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me." And next week we're all thankful for Nate Archibald! Whee!
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1 comment:
W's tips to make you look thinner: Drape an American flag over your ass -- no one will be able to tell that you're hiding it.
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