Monday, September 22, 2008

My Cat Is Using My Purse As A Scratching Post!

Posted by: Jen

She is a little booger. Anyway, I had a lot of thoughts to post, but nothing that would really manifest itself into a real full post, so I decided to make a list:

1. If I could achieve any resemblance to the Dismissive Look a la Blair for my daily confrontations with duchesses, socialites and maids (or you know, when fighting for a seat on the train), I would be golden. Seriously, that look cuts: eyebrows slightly raised, head cocked, and the look that says "I am through here, off with you." I need to perfect that. And then use it to render my enemies powerless.

2. I am kind of mad that Rosanna of Fox 5 News at 10 went to the morning show. I watch the news at 10 FOR Rosanna and Ernie and their thinly veiled, hate-filled friendly banter! Now I have to suffer through Ernie slinging "friendly" barbs at a poor man's Rosanna with a bad dye job and giant veneers. I did not ask for this; I do not want this. I want to hear about the lost Yorkie in Queens from both of them!


3. OH. And speaking of animals, today a man (ok so he is totally one who raves in his spare time, I swear, just to give you a visual) came on the L holding a small kitten that was gripping his shirt with all of its might, saying that he was collecting money for some animal shelter. I call bullshit, because obviously if he wanted to help animals he wouldn't be scaring the crap out of a tiny kitten while putting it in a potentially dangerous situation by bringing it on the train without a carrier! I never bother with the crazies and I was totally ready to say something, but then I was worried about the kitten (what if he really did hurt it?!) so I didn't. Everyone hug your cat tonight and be happy they aren't being used as a ploy to steal hard earned money from old ladies, people with cancer, and all of the other nice people out there to score E for the next Mother Fucker. Jerk.


4. Confession: Tonight I ate frosted mini wheats for dinner and a bag of popcorn for dessert. I am a grownup.


5. Also, YES! We got hate mail and I am so excited. After all, you're not really important until you have some haters. And according to our grammatically challenged friend, I am the less dumb/ugly one (Kim is the more dumb/not as ugly one, but don't be fooled by those details, we're both totes stupid). Remember ladies, the lesson that our hater wants you to bring home is that the smarter you are, the uglier you are. Now go bake something and stop thinking! XOXO

PS: I do not hate Lauren's dress but I now officially hate her for calling herself a designer. There is nothing new or interesting about this at all (besides the fact that I really hope she is wearing a bra because she looks like she is having a moment of slippage) and I think people are really giving her too much credit (or you know, a job). Oh hey, I just took my (bright pink) bed sheet, wrapped it around myself and pinned it with a giant safety pin. I'm a designer too!!! Also, I just took a shower so my hair is wet and it is INTENTIONAL because I am a visionary and wet hair will be The Look in Sping '09.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So the pink exhibits a passable knowledge of sports, while the blue one wuvs wittle aminals? And you're both liberals and like fashion and watch teen dramas and think you can write?

Aren't you two just so well-rounded and fun.

Get over yourselves. No one wants to read this.

Chris Camp said...

Garret suffers from what we all do. no one wants to read this blog but apparently we do anyway. this blog is like McDonalds fries. you know you shouldn't but you keep coming back despite all better reasoning. I guess that's a good thing.

Kim & Jen said...

I like Garrett. He has an accurate idea of who we are (clothes! animals! GG!), which must mean that we can convey our thoughts and ideas on a somewhat readable level after all. Our blog is sincerely lacking the angry male perspective though, so I am offering G a guest posting spot. -- Jen

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend sent me this yesterday, and I think it'd help you with #1.