Oh Man, We Need A Drink SO BAD

Posted by: Kim and Jen
Kim: john picked a lady.
haha
Jennifer: ?
Kim: he's bringing the big guns. like he just got every woman in my office. sheesh. mccain picked his running mate and it's a GIRL
Jennifer: OH
yes
well you know what.
that doesn't convince me that he respects women and I think it shows that he doesn't because he thinks women will go "OH A VAGINA! I WILL VOTE FOR HIM"
fuck that noise
and apparently it works
shit
he plays dirty and I have to say I admire his style
Kim: what 44-year-old woman from alaska is pro-life? wtf.
Jennifer: I KNOW, I KNOW
I'm gonna throw shit
is it official?
I feel like he's copying hillary
Kim: no, he is doing it to get the feminists! the crazy feminists who are mad obama isn't hilary!
it's terrible!
Jennifer: the feminists aren't like that, the feminists know. the only people who wanted hillary and will vote for mccain out of spite are 60+ baby boomers who can't see past their own asses
Kim: there are the crazy ones. i'm reading jezebel. whoo boy. 'i will vote for mccain to prove a point, i suffered bush, i can suffer this.' hi. how about all the women who will actually suffer.
Jennifer: I'm like hyperventilating, this is crazy. look what he had to do to compete with obama!!! you know he wouldn't do it unless he was desperate
Kim: im so angry
Jennifer: I am outraged, it's such a cloying act
fucking a
Kim: all the middle-aged women in my office are like, 'what?! this is fantastic!' omg. omg omg omg.
Jennifer: omg omg omg
Kim: christ. worst night/morning ever. josh beckett's arm is dead and mccain is going to be president. like, i was having a great week as of two days ago! wtf.
Jennifer: fucking a
like the undermining underhandedness is amazing and I have not doubt that john mccain is some kind of super villian. I am so glad I signed up to volunteer for planned parenthood now.
chrisssst
Kim: i cant do work now. i'm busy panicking about the fate of america.
this is terrible... i cant even console myself that he is old and might die. because then we will have a republican bitch prez. wtf. no.
Jennifer: OH MY GOD, THIS IS FUCKED UP

Stalking the cast of GG all the way back around to ... more of the cast of GG!

Posted by: Kim

Okay, okay, okay. How come no one told me or Jen that one of our favorites, one of our Dream Team of Friends (though we're starting to think she might not like us ...) Leighton has a boyfriend? And that it's Carter Baizen? I mean, one quick google search tells me that this is like, totally common knowledge among the diehard fans, and I am so not up on my game, here.

Anyway. Carter Baizen is hot.


And Sebastian Stan - as he likes to be called in real life - and Leighton are pretty adorable.



Amidst my stalking, I decided that Carter/Sebastian looked pretty familiar, so I did a little imdb search and learned that he was in one of the worst movies I have ever seen, ever, and I mean that in a it was really, really bad and just in a really, really bad way, as opposed to a really really GREAT bad way, which is how I usually like my movies: The Covenant.



I was super psyched for The Covenant when it came out a couple of falls ago. It's pretty much everything I want in a movie, which is to say it's about hot boys and evil and Massachusetts. I love hot boys and evil and Massachusetts. I love how every Massachusetts movie (like, Fever Pitch notwithstanding) is either a horror movie or a college-or-prep school movie, and more often than not, a preppy college horror movie. And there's ALWAYS a Salem witch running around. Fantastic.

Anyway, so I went in with the highest of hopes, and was so mad in the end.

Basically there's a really tall hot guy (Good Boy-Witch, don't know his name - this is why I am a bad celebrity stalker, I give up too easily) and a not-as-tall hot guy (Bad Boy-Witch, Carter/Sebastian) and there are some other cute little Boy Witchlets (one def. good, one maybe bad, though they drop that storyline pretty quickly which is dumb because it actually could have been interesting, and one who just hangs out) and then there are a couple of chicks there to see stuff in the shower and serve as lame catalysts. So then Carter wants to steal Tall Hot Good Witch's power because he (THGW) is turning 18 and coming into it fully or whatever, and so they have this battle and Carter's all, "How about I make you my WI-ATCH?!" (no, for real, that's what he says) and there's a gratuitous boy kiss and stuff and then Good trumps Evil but MAYBE NOT FOREVER! The end.

And OMG it is so bad. I'm not just saying this because I am a movie snob. I am not. I hate movie snobs. I want it to be good. I want to love it. I want to want it on my shelf. It's so completely right up my movie-watching alley, and yet, no. Ugh. Even with all the hot boys running around half-naked for no reason (they're swimmers!).

But anyway, so I'm all reading about how Sebastian (I haven't decided if I'm going with Carter or Sebastian yet, so, just, you know) starred in this piece of should-have-been cinematic genius, some Web site's like, "and Sebastian met his girlfriend, GG's Leighton Meester, through his Covenant co-star Chace Crawford."

Stop. Rewind. What? Nate was in The Covenant? I know, right, you're thinking, "well Kim, when you stalked Chace over to imdb to make sure he was old enough for you to be lusting over (yes), didn't you read his filmography?" Well, no. Told you. BAD STALKER. So my mind's reeling and I'm all, "Tall Hot Good Witch? Nope. Wasn't him. Carter, nope. Um, the very blond one, nope. The one with the motorcycle, nope ... OH. OH! The OTHER one! The one who doesn't do anything! The one who just hangs out! THE ONE WITH THE HUMMER! NATE'S THE WITCH WITH THE HUMMER!"


Yup.

And now I totally have to rent this. And it's still going to be bad.

But, hey. 3 more days!

T-5 Days!

Posted by: Jen

For your viewing pleasure, a recap of last season of GG and THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THE NEW EPISODE (and then a preview of that stupid looking new show about a tutor or whatever, feh, poor man's GG if you ask me). YES!

ONE Week!

Posted by: Jen

Ok, so I know I always bitch about not being invited to events in this city, but this time I am serious. I mean, I know I could pay more attention, put on my heavily discounted Pucci and party crash, but come on... I want an invitation! Anyway, last night Bendel's (of course -- yo, I've never even been inside Barney's, but I do admire the windows on my way to H&M -- love you Simon!) Gossip Girl held its season two launch party.

Noticeably absent from the party of my life were Serena and Dan! It makes me sad because what kind of person doesn't attend a party for themselves? I will try to avoid projecting diva behavior on the both of them and instead talk about our other favorites and my general concern that Little J is heading down the path of Lindsay Lohan (before she met Sam Ronson and died her hair a lovely shade of blonde/red).


Leighton and Jessica, looking pretty! I miss Jessica's curls though! I mean, sure they are probably obnoxious as anything to keep from frizzing, but still! So pretty!


Nicole rocks a bandage dress. So many people hate this style, but you know what? It works. And if I were not shaped like a tyrannosaurus rex I would also wear one. To work. And the grocery store. And everywhere because it is a fucking bandage dress and I will be saggy and 75 someday so why not?

Leighton always looks perfect. Kim and I aspire to have her kind of awesomeness someday.

Oh hey Little J, did you watch "The Crow" before coming to the premier? What's wrong, did your mom take away your Sidekick? Would it kill you to smile? And I am not saying this in the typical condescending "girls should be smiley!!!" kind of way -- you are MUCH to young to pout at the camera like that and I know my saying it makes me OLD but think of it as coming from your "cool" aunt. I'm nervous for you. For the next 10 years make sure you ALWAYS leave the house wearing underwear.

Ed Westwick is pretty cute, baby.

Posted by: Kim

Gossip Girl is returning to us ONE WEEK FROM TOMORROW!
So I'm probably going to be posting only about the cast for the next seven days, and then about the S2 premiere for likely at least two.

Here we have Ed, chewing on some coke and giving a hilarious interview that makes me think Bret Easton Ellis might want to seriously consider writing Chuck Bass into his next masterpiece illuminating the ennui of the young and beautiful:

Gossip Girl stud Ed Westwick hypes up the Coca-Cola new aluminum bottle launch at New York City’s Soho Grand Hotel on Thursday.

In this week’s Page Six Magazine, the 21-year-old British actor opened up about the “bootlicking” he’s received as being the villainous but charming Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl – and rumors he’s gay.

On his relationship with co-star and roommate Chace Crawford: “People think Chace is gay, and thought I was gay, that we were humping. It’s not true, but hilarious. People project their fantasies onto people. I’ve never been someone who makes it my objective to go out and pick up chicks. But I’ve met some fantastic ladies here. You know those amazing conversations where you find yourself in a café talking until 2 a.m. and never see them again.”

On refusing to let all the fan adulation go to his head: “There are perks to this job. We [the Gossip Girl cast] were all thrown into this situation with a lot of attention on us, and you get a lot of free clothes and s–t but that’s no reason not to stay grounded. What am I really doing, baby? Saving the world? Nah, I’m on television.”

On his portrayal as Chuck Bass being just as notable as his own bad behavior and sense of style: “Chuck is an iconic character and the clothes are iconic. I think I rock the look well. My style has always been good. Top notch, baby. I like the glamorous indie rock look, like the Libertines. But you know, without the heroin needle sticking out of my arm.”

On not being shy about his late night partying, or his frequent visits to the clubs with his band Filthy Youth: “If I want to go out and drink and throw a glass in the street, I’ll do it. As long as the reason is that I want to have fun and not that I want to create some sort of tension around me. Then I’d be a d–k. But I’m not.”

On planning to enjoy the city and the last warm days of the season: “I love going out in the summer. The girls wear their nice dresses. Did that sound sleazy? It really did, didn’t it? Put it like this: Everyone comes out looking gorgeous in summer. We are a more beautiful species in the summer. No doubt Chuck Bass would say ‘cheers’ to that, baby.”

-Via Just Jared.

YES! WANT!

Posted by: Jen

Look at Emma Stone at the premier of The House Bunny (Anna Faris! I love you and think you are hilarious -- why are you doing this horrible movie?). Fabulous, pretty, and I NEED that dress. I would wear it everywhere: the grocery store, the movies, to work. I would wear it with my kickass new gladiators though (those shoes make me nervous, I feel like I would fall out of them). Big step up from SuperBad Emma, well played.

But Now I'M Being Discriminated Against!

Posted by: Jen

A few weeks ago a memo was leaked from The Department of Health and Human Services, outlining a plan to cut off federal funds to states, hospitals and clinics that discriminate against employees who refuse to offer birth control or abortions on religious or moral grounds. Additionally (the kicker!), it defined forms of birth control as abortion, which any 13 year old who has had health class can tell you is NOT true. Well, the final draft is out and can be found by clicking on the image of the angry uterus above. Why yes, I did Google image search "angry uterus" and lo and behold, there it was! Thank you creator of this fantastic crayon drawing, wherever you are!

Well, the final copy is finally out, and it doesn't mention anything about birth control specifically (I'm imagining it was due to the huge amount of bad press and public out-roar it got -- nice try Bush Administration, go back to being irrelevant while I focus on the Olympics and then the Democratic Convention), it does hint that doctors will be able to handle reproductive care as they see fit, not as medically necessary. Boy genius HHS Secretary Mike Leavitt puts it into layman's terms:

“Doctors and other health care providers should not be forced to choose between good professional standing and violating their conscience. Freedom of expression and action should not be surrendered upon the issuance of a health care degree.”

Soooo Mikey, why is it ok to stand up for certain rights (those of self righteous doctors) but not women in general? Why are you so concerned about the conscience of a few when the health of half of the country could potentially suffer? Cool, thanks, and fuck that noise.

Shalane Flanagan Is My Hero

Posted by: Jen


So I was in London and the Womens' 10k was live on the BBC. What. A. Race. I'm sure all of the UK could hear me screeching at the TV but I just couldn't help it! The woman who got gold, Tirunesh Dibaba of Ethiopia, set an Olympic record and ran the second fastest 10k ever run (short of the world record, run by cheater-pants Wang Junxia in 1993 -- hey IAAF why haven't you taken down that record yet?!)! The woman who got silver, Elvan Abeylegesse, put in a GREAT race but just couldn't hang with Dibaba when she went by her in the final lap (I don't think I could run ONE lap as fast as she ran lap 25, just saying). Seriously people, one hundred meters shmun drundred shmeters, this was a race and it was exciting and amazing and fun to watch and should not be interrupted by showing one M. Phelps AGAIN.

Anyway, but the star of the show for me at least was Shalane. She ran the smartest race, and watching her finish with her mom cheering her on in the stands made me cry a little. I mean, she just looked so happy when she finished it was really great to see someone who has run so well in the NCAA and on the national level finally make it big on the world level. I am a fan. And I hope she kicks more butt in the 5k tomorrow (or tonight, if you are in NYC like me and 12 hours behind China, and oooh man, would I stay up to watch the qualifier if I weren't so jet lagged). I rarely get all "America the beautiful" around here, but, um... USA USA USA! Right.

Huh. Wow.

Posted by: Kim

Countries That Don't Use The Metric System:

That'd be Liberia and Burma, for those of you who didn't recognize them right off the bat like I did. Ahem. Right, okay, fine, so maybe I wasn't sure on Liberia.

Anyway, wow, right? Jen's response?: Something along the lines of, "Thank god for track." I, on the other hand, am familiar with the metric system because I really like hockey players and they're like, never American, and because I played high school soccer and so a 5K never impresses me like it should because I know it isn't even the dread 3.3 (miles, of course) we had to do.

We should probably covert, in any case, because seriously. That looks dumb.

I <3 the Olympics

Posted by: Kim

So, they've been dissected to death already by this point, but I just thought I'd throw in my two cents on the USA's Olympic opening ceremony outfits, by Ralph Lauren:

Clearly I think they're perfect in every way, except for the offending newsboy caps. Newsboy caps haven't been cute since they were worn by newsboys ... in "Newsies" ...

This includes the time Chuck Bass wore one, yes.

But anyway, fantastic. Fantastic. Congrats, Mr. Lauren. I, for one, love them. I am like that, though, or so I've been told. That meaning blazers, I suppose, and navy blue.

Olympics! Go America go! And ... Scotland. Italy. And French Canadia, for Jen. Whoo!

Football season est arrivee -- and now Eli is a model TOO!

Posted by: Kim

It's a quarterback kind of month, September is.

Here we have Eli on the cover of Men's Vogue, looking about as excited as the city of New York was about him as a quarterback until he pulled out that whole Superbowl win thing a few months back:
And on to prettier things, Public Enemy #1 (because America hates winners when they're from New England, and also, apparently everyone but Tom Brady is allowed to be a baby daddy and date a supermodel without rampant judgement and blacklisting) Tom Brady, for Esquire:



Hitting newsstands shortly. Wallpaper your cubes as you see fit. I'm sure you can guess which way I'm going.

** linked articles are not from these magazine issues

Heidi, You Make Me Sad.

Posted by: Kim

Pics from Just Jared


Listen, Heidi. I know we're LC's #1 fans and all, but I promise we don't side in the feud. We like you too! You are stellar entertainment, and aside from the questionable nose job and those gun photos and your continual association with Spencer, we like you! We remember S1 of The Hills and what a good friend you were and we understand all about creative editing! And you have very pretty hair, and in the photo on the right you're totally pulling off the yellow that so many have attempted and failed miserably at rocking this summer, resulting in a bunch of washed out human lemon squares strolling around town (present company possibly included).

And so anyway, what I'm trying to say is, why do you do things like those shoes (I'm willing to turn a blind eye to the white sunglasses this once, and one to the bag as well, as it may be okay from another angle, can't tell for sure ... though definitely not with the dress ... BUT THOSE SHOES, HEIDI, WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES?) ?! I'd convey my utter horror at heels with the maxi dress in the first place, but I got stumped at the horror of the heels themselves and just don't even feel the need to go any further.

I only say this because I care, Heidi, but really. The stripper chic look really doesn't do anything for anyone. Especially when your chief rival is the girl next door who pretty much wears pretty cocktail dresses six days a week and running clothes on the seventh.

London Calling!

Posted by: JenWell, I'm off to London for the week! Have fun sitting in your cubes while I'm off gallivanting around town, drinking as much Stella as I can hold and NOT shopping at all because of the horrible exchange rate.

Oh and don't worry, I will not be dressed like the people above, even though I often threaten my boyfriend with showing up in an American Flag sweater, white sneakers and a fanny pack.

Actually, the first time I said "fanny pack" he started laughing hysterically and I was like, "Yes fanny packs are funny, but not that funny," and he explained that in England, "Fanny" is another word for Vagina. Which is interesting, I think (look, now we're all cultured!), and it makes a whole lot more sense because you kind of ARE wearing it over your vag instead of your butt, just saying.

And on that intelligent note, over to Kim for the week!

Bet You Didn't Know I Graduated With An Economics Minor.

Posted by: Kim

I'm having one of THOSE days (I know, I know, cut to our vast readership rolling their eyes and noting that I seem to forever be having one of THOSE days) and decided I would drink my lunch again -- as in coffee, not booze. I mean, that was Tuesday, come on.

So I went to Starbucks cause it's REALLY one of those days, -- let's talk about how it's still not Friday? And I went all out with the triple-grande nonfat mocha no whip and changed my mind between hot and iced approximately nine times before settling (iced) and then at the last minute requested a fourth espresso shot thrown in there, which raised the alarm of the dude behind me in line. I silenced him with a glare (it may have been the lime green cardigan as well) and a, "dude, one of THOSE DAYS, okay?!'

The barista, on the other hand, was all understanding and then I was all, 'Thanks, I don't need a receipt' but she was like, 'OMG NO TAKE IT! See, read it: If you come back today after 2 you can get any iced beverage you want for $2. Think about all the espresso shots you could get for free!' This girl was cool.

Now I'm busy pretending I was ever good with numbers and trying to decide if I win or lose in this situation. I mean, obviously Starbucks wins or they wouldn't be doing it, and obviously they win anyway, since they charge an average of $4 for something that costs maybe $0.03 to produce, and that's IF we're talking fancy schmancy extra shots and syrups and soy and shit. Otherwise, hm, probably less. It's coffee. Also, they're getting customers to purchase twice in a day.

But anyway, back to me: Do I win? In theory, yes... ish. When I go to Starbucks, which is not that often out of a loyalty to DD and a tendency to drink black coffee and expect to pay far less than what Sbux feels like charging for it, I order big, as described. I mean, if you're busting out the $5-spot for your caffeine, it might as well be layered (macchiato, right?) or have some chocolate in it or SOMETHING. So, yeah. My standard grande iced beverage tends to run me close to $5 by the time I'm done adding espresso shots and making the nice baristas remove the whipped cream I said I didn't want but they refused to believe me about (this happens to me! all! the! time!), so, yes, getting one for $2 is a steal, Starbucksianly-speaking.

However, obviously I already bought one, so the total of the one I bought plus the $2 version, we can round to $6. And then we call them each $3. So, yes, I made out, even if it was for $1 more than the 'deal.' But I still will have spent $6 as opposed to $4, and I have coffee at home, so again? Worth it? Perhaps not technically. A loss? I'm going with no, but then again, it's one of THOSE days, and I love coffee.

Alas, Game, Set, Match: Starbucks, because I'm totally going to do it.
Also, this might be a national thing. I have no idea. You should probably all go.
Wow, marketing is EFFECTIVE!

Ok, Thursday Styles, You've Finally Crossed The Line

Posted by: Jen

Click the pic to see the full article!

Oh Thursday Styles (not to mention Sunday), I usually find you generally annoying but somehow always find myself checking you out because I like the "On The Street" slide show, but you have hit new levels of obnoxiousness. I mean yeah, I kind of laugh at your articles on exercise and shoe colors, and sometimes Modern Love makes me feel a little dirty, but this article makes me almost blind with rage at the absurdity of it all.

And I quote:
"...Mr. Brown, 24, who works at Esquire magazine in New York, the colorful strips are an important accessory, and he’s careful to coordinate them with his Kris Van Assche sweater or his Balenciaga bag. He generally wears one on his left hand or arm and balances it out with two or three on his right leg.

He doesn’t put them on his face because, he said, “I don’t want people thinking, ‘What happened?’"

PAIRS A BAND-AID WITH BALENCIAGA? OMG OMG OMG. This guy is asinine, and I am really frightened to think that there are enough men in the world like that to warrant writing an entire article in the fucking New York Times about this "trend"!!! He's also totally the kind of guy that would hit on you at the bar (probably Pink Elephant) and try to buy you a vodka soda because "carbs are bad" and then proceed to tell you about how much money he makes doing x job.

(I know you're wondering how you would end up at Pink Elephant, but let's say it's probably 3am and your friend is really drunk and you just kind of ended up there. Stop blaming the victim.)

I think I need to stop reading Thursday styles for my health and sanity. Plus they make me feel bad when they talk about how people deal with the recession by "only purchasing one or two designer handbags a year" or "forgoing the trip to San Tropez in favor of going to Montauk".

No, Katie Holmes, As Much As You Insist On Pegging Your Jeans I Am Not Going To Believe You

Posted by: Jen

Posh's pants and Agyness' cut? Oh Katie. Tell Tom to let you have some meds.

Has anyone else been following Katie Holmes' descent into madness? Case in point: the pegged jeans. Yes Katie, I know your friend (and a member of our Dream Team of friends) Victoria wore David's jeans once, and you decided to follow suit. But. But! As much as you insist on wearing them out, it does not make you a trend setter or chic; just frumpy. I don't get it.

There is a picture circulating the internet of Katie wearing these jeans with socks and high heeled sandals! The brain explodes! But, it was the first time I had seen her do it so I thought maybe she had just come from dance practice because sometimes the building I work at hosts Salsa Night and all of the women who go wear dancing shoes with socks because they are intellectual and cultured and DANCE SALSA and you know they listened to an NPR podcast on the way in from Park Slope and will go home and eat something organic. OR sometimes I see ballerinas on the train and they like, hike up their tights so they stick out under their sweatpants and wear them with flip flops but that is ok because it has purpose and they look a thousand times more graceful when the train comes to a rumbling halt than I ever could -- but I have the feeling that Katie is not doing either of these things. She might eat organic though. I think Scientologists do that.

I know, I know, I say Blake can wear onesies and formal orange and Kate Moss can wear ANYTHING, but Katie can't. Please come back to us and wear pants that fit with the rest of us mortals.

The Rest of The World Catches Up To What I SWEAR I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG ...

Posted by: Kim

Mondays are really NBD. It's Tuesdays that suck out your soul.

How the hell is it still Tuesday?

Currently using my lunch break to lie on the floor and drink a gallon of coffee.
Yes, I spiked it.

This Cat Is SO Mad!

Posted by: Jen

Heee. This cat has sucessfully mastered his bitch face and is totally plotting his human's demise. My cat looks at me this way when I move her off whatever I am currently trying to read.