Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Whitney Port Shows She Has Learned Nothing From Diane, New York, Part 2: An Analysis of The Hills Finale Party

Posted by: Jen

So The Hills season finale was last night and all of the LA people were not surprisingly, really stupid and left the warm goodness of SoCal and came to frozen New York. Anyway, I don't watch the show because I don't have cable (I really do miss the Saturday all day marathons when I am hungover and have to watch PBS), but I did notice a few things about our favorite totally real people who happen to have a tv show:

1. Whitney Port has apparently proven that NY drugs are way harder than the kind found in LA. Case in point:

Like, WTF is this? Did she rob Stevie Nicks AND a Hawaiian Tropic girl on the way to the party? In her NY hard drug fueled euphoria did she craft a stolen lei from said Hawaiian Tropic girl into a seriously bad headband? People, this is a woman who has her own clothing line and "WORKS" in fashion. I gag. And Diane probably threw up all over herself when she saw the photos this morning.

2. I love Lauren's dress!

Sparkly! Simple! Well played! If I could fix ONE thing about this, it would be to tell L to stop doing her stupid "I'm a little teapot pose." Seriously, think of something else. Now every one laugh at how deranged/goofy Whitney looks next to Lauren!

3. What recession?

Lauren's Philip Lim dress costs $925 dollars AND IS SOLD OUT in most sizes! Really? Now I'm sad because I can't buy it even if I could afford it. Or wanted to spend what I pay for rent on a dress. Oh also, if you have a couple grand left after you buy your beautious PL sparkly wonder dress, Net-A-Porter suggests you pair it with some Louboutins and a Jimmy Choo clutch. I say, if we're all going to the breadline, we might as well look fabulous!*

* J/K, J/K, J/K FOR REAL.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, man.
See, I think what is happening here is that Whitney thinks she IS learning to be NY. And that she is doing DVF right.
(Because DVF did have the retarded hippie-meets-Indian-princess headbands all over Fashion Week, remember?)
But you know what I mean. In LA they think they know, but they have no idea. But then when they try to really know, it just gets worse.
It's like how an LA chick who thinks she's fashion forward will say something super-bland like, 'oh, you know what I HATE? UGGS. AND WITH SHORT SKIRTS! GIRLS WHO DO THAT ARE SOOOOOO DUMB.' And then the rest of the nation, meaning particularly NY, is like, yeah, but, see, only girls in LA do that, so, inconsequential for the rest of us, try again, kthxbye! And so then they are like, um, ED HARDY. And so on and so forth.
Some day LA will probably come beat me up.
Anyway, Lauren looks fabulous. I also love her hair and red lipstick! Whoo LC!

Anonymous said...

I forgot about the headbands! Do you think it is DVF? They looked so much cuter on the models. Also, that dress cannot be DVF, I refuse to believe that she could make something so unflattering.