Sunday, December 7, 2008

Regarding "Twilight" again ...

Posted by: Kim

I meant to do this a couple of weeks ago, but I've been off my game. Anyway, here we go:

Dear Robert Pattinson,

I apologize for all of the nasty things I said about your promotional covers in my previous Twilight post of epic length. You ARE Edward Cullen, and I love you.

Love, Kim

So, I saw Twilight ... um, twice, maybe (I only paid once though, I do have some boundaries) and I loved it and I love Edward Cullen and I love Robert Pattinson and I love Alice and Jasper (my favorite Twilight couple, so much cooler than Bella and Edward) and the people who played them even if they weren't utilized nearly enough, and I really wish whatever that Iron & Wine song at the end was had been made in time for my prom. Also, Bella was way less annoying in the movie than she is in the book, so that was cool, even if Kristin Stewart exudes bitchery even while she's acting, but, whatever. Yay, Twilight movie! Fan, here.

But back to the books. So after my ''it sucks but in an addictive way'' reaction to the first book, I got the rest. And they got progressively better! Hey! To the point that I totally loved the third one, Eclipse. Loved. Unabashedly. But, world, now here I am stuck about halfway through the fourth and final one, and all I can say is

WHAT.

WTF.

RENESMEE?!

It ... I really thought I had words going into this, but, as I was trying to explain to my new-Twilight-fan sister who is currently in the midst of Eclipse bliss, the fourth book IS WHACK. Currently the only character I still like is Carlisle, I am ready to go smack anyone who dares talk about the magic that is baaaaaaaaabieeeees, and I am about ready to revoke all my glowing-and-grudging praise of this epic vampire love saga if the final installment doesn't shape up and quick, because, again: WHAT THE HELL.

Also, there is no way in Hades that this one can ever be made into a movie anywhere in America that its target audience (you know, tween girls) will be allowed to see without adult accompaniment and nightmares for life.

Jen. Read these books. We need to discuss.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I watched the first movie and LOVED it! OMG, I take back my statement of Edward not being hot. After spending the first half hour of the movie wishing that Chace had been cast as E, I realized two things: 1. E is a better actor, 2. E is quite attractive, big hair and all. I have decided that he is remarkably un-photogenic in photos but in film (and hopefully real life) he is like Ed Westwick hot, not pretty, but omg sex.