Posted by: Kim
However, I am way too narcissistic for that, and I also had a request from my favorite blogger besides Bryanboy, Katie Ett, to share the Epic Fail Kim (not me, another one) story.
So I started a blog, where I'll even probably post pictures of my hair. I like my hair.
It's here.
(P.S. I will still talk about shoes, but I will also type in black. I will also beg Jen to guest blog.)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Things I'm NOT OKAY With This Month:
Posted by: Kim
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
You can read about this fuckery here.
I mean, if you've read this blog ever you know I succumbed to the Twilight phenomenon to an extent, but, Line. Drawn. No no no way. As I declared all over Facebook the other day, the only thing that calmed me after I was made aware of this ridiculousness was the mental image of Crazy!Fans in 'I Heart Boys Who Sparkle' tee-shirts and golden contacts storming the shelves at Barnes & Noble only to discover that the GREATEST BOOK OF ALL TIME is written in Old English and nothing like what they were expecting. So, basically, reveling in the disappointment of children. But hey. WUTHERING HEIGHTS IS MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER. Do not attach Bella's name to it. God.
Also, this:
FAIL.
That's all.
Well, actually. To be succint, as Jen put it: I want to leave the theatre with no reason to live! I don't want to be uplifted! God.
Agree.
World, what is wrong with you this month?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I don't understand sports, men or society -- not to mention the English language -- so help me answer this question:
Posted by: Jen
When applied to a man, the word "bitch" means:
Chocolate Is REALLY Good, Okay!?
Posted by: Jen
Jennifer: no, I saw your Twitter though and wasn't sure what it was about... Chris: yeah, was in a cab and i saw that and i wanted to look up more about it today Jennifer: you know, that would really ruin chocolate for me -- if I drowned in a giant vat of it. Chris: how about if you saw someone drown in it? Like everytime you take a bite you might be eating the guy you saw? Jennifer: I'd still be ok with it as long as I knew I wasn't eating the death chocolate. Chris: hmmmm inteeresting... Jennifer: well alright, I got really sick off of indian food and that didn't stop me from loving curry, so I'd imagine if I witnessed a chocolate drowning I'd be ok.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1198530/Death-chocolate-Factory-worker-meets-sweet-end-falling-vat-cocoa.html
Chris: hear about that dude that died by falling in a vat of chocolate?
very willy wonka like!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1198530/Death-chocolate-Factory-worker-meets-sweet-end-falling-vat-cocoa.html
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
On Surviving An Emergency
Posted by: Kim and Jen
Jennifer: When I worked at that summer camp one summer during college, the head of the camp had like this THING about thunderstorms. Like, the minute there was a cloud in the sky she'd FREAK out and be like, "THUNDERSTORM! QUICK! EVERYONE INSIDE!" She was so freaky about it the little kids picked up on it and even the ones who weren't scared of storms became really frightened! It was bizarre.
Kim: i am mildly confused. so, they are telling us not to stand in a baseball field or next to a tree
Jennifer: oh that was my point.
Kim: so ... like if we must be outside, what IS preferred? in the bushes?
Jennifer: Obviously we learned thunderstorm safety at camp and you are NOT SUPPOSED to go under a tree! If anything, like if you have a choice between a tree and a field, you are supposed to lie face down in the field.
Kim: NUH UH! i did not learn that, i just learned to get in the car because of the tires.
Jennifer: because it drastically reduces your chances of being hit!
Kim: hahahahahaha
Jennifer: and also, if you do get struck it hits you in the back, protecting your vital organs AND since your body is spread out it kind of spreads out the impact
Kim: lol, if you have the choice between tree or baseball field... amazing.
Jennifer: yeah, I learned that from Sandy, head camp mistress extraordinaire.
Kim: that is all excellent advice.
Jennifer: no, she was insane.
Kim: i would have a real problem with lying face down in a baseball field whilst lighting flashed all around me though, not gonna lie.
Jennifer: lol exactly, I'd take my chances and run!
Kim: that's kind of like how they are like, if you fall onto the subway tracks, do not move. Just calmly wait away from the electric rail as the train passes.
Jennifer: Umm if I fell in the track I would climb out immediately if the train wasn't coming...
Kim: i know! And if the train was coming, i would immediately die. Of terror. So.
Jennifer: well then you'd die anyway of train so it wouldn't matter.
Kim: well i suppose you could hang out in the little gravel pit alongside it and hope for no sparks or shrapnel or off-tracking.
Jennifer: I would lie down in the middle I think.
Kim: WHAT!
Jennifer: because it would probably go over you; that's how people have lived before!
Kim: IT WOULD NOT. i think i would fare best in emergency situations on boats or airplanes, because on the plane when they are like, 'please secure your own oxygen mask before helping any elders or infants' i am like, duh. And on a boat, well, i don't know... i am a fast swimmer but whine in cold water so i might be screwed.
Oh, if i were in a car and it fell in water, omg. i mean, i know you are supposed to calmly stay put and let the car fill up with water so that you may easily open the door once equilibrium is attained. But LIKE HELL.
That reminds me I need to start keeping a baseball bat on me at all times.
Jennifer: you could also kick out the windshield pretty easily pre-sinkage, Oprah said so.
Kim: maybe you could? of course, i would be trapped by my seat belt with two broken ankles or whatever.
Jennifer: good thing you don't need ankles to swim!
Kim: this does not mean i condone not wearing seat belts. Also how much would it suck if you fell in the water, and then waited for the car to fill, all while sinking, and then got out and a shark ate you?
That would also happen to me.
Jennifer: ok well, we don't live near sharks, so it's fine. I would worry more about letting the car fill and then not being able to get out.
Kim: i live near so many sharks.
Jennifer: there are no sharks in MA! Are there?
Kim: of course! i mean, they PREFER a warmer climate, but they are here... Did you not see JAWS?
Jennifer: My point was Jaws too actually; I was going to go, "Jaws was fake!"
Kim: there was a great white swimming around in shallow water for weeks on the cape within the past few summers, and the lifeguards do drills. Rarely, but they do them. Those were like, petrifying as a child.
Jennifer: When I worked at that summer camp one summer during college, the head of the camp had like this THING about thunderstorms. Like, the minute there was a cloud in the sky she'd FREAK out and be like, "THUNDERSTORM! QUICK! EVERYONE INSIDE!" She was so freaky about it the little kids picked up on it and even the ones who weren't scared of storms became really frightened! It was bizarre.
Kim: i am mildly confused. so, they are telling us not to stand in a baseball field or next to a tree
Jennifer: oh that was my point.
Kim: so ... like if we must be outside, what IS preferred? in the bushes?
Jennifer: Obviously we learned thunderstorm safety at camp and you are NOT SUPPOSED to go under a tree! If anything, like if you have a choice between a tree and a field, you are supposed to lie face down in the field.
Kim: NUH UH! i did not learn that, i just learned to get in the car because of the tires.
Jennifer: because it drastically reduces your chances of being hit!
Kim: hahahahahaha
Jennifer: and also, if you do get struck it hits you in the back, protecting your vital organs AND since your body is spread out it kind of spreads out the impact
Kim: lol, if you have the choice between tree or baseball field... amazing.
Jennifer: yeah, I learned that from Sandy, head camp mistress extraordinaire.
Kim: that is all excellent advice.
Jennifer: no, she was insane.
Kim: i would have a real problem with lying face down in a baseball field whilst lighting flashed all around me though, not gonna lie.
Jennifer: lol exactly, I'd take my chances and run!
Kim: that's kind of like how they are like, if you fall onto the subway tracks, do not move. Just calmly wait away from the electric rail as the train passes.
Jennifer: Umm if I fell in the track I would climb out immediately if the train wasn't coming...
Kim: i know! And if the train was coming, i would immediately die. Of terror. So.
Jennifer: well then you'd die anyway of train so it wouldn't matter.
Kim: well i suppose you could hang out in the little gravel pit alongside it and hope for no sparks or shrapnel or off-tracking.
Jennifer: I would lie down in the middle I think.
Kim: WHAT!
Jennifer: because it would probably go over you; that's how people have lived before!
Kim: IT WOULD NOT. i think i would fare best in emergency situations on boats or airplanes, because on the plane when they are like, 'please secure your own oxygen mask before helping any elders or infants' i am like, duh. And on a boat, well, i don't know... i am a fast swimmer but whine in cold water so i might be screwed.
Oh, if i were in a car and it fell in water, omg. i mean, i know you are supposed to calmly stay put and let the car fill up with water so that you may easily open the door once equilibrium is attained. But LIKE HELL.
That reminds me I need to start keeping a baseball bat on me at all times.
Jennifer: you could also kick out the windshield pretty easily pre-sinkage, Oprah said so.
Kim: maybe you could? of course, i would be trapped by my seat belt with two broken ankles or whatever.
Jennifer: good thing you don't need ankles to swim!
Kim: this does not mean i condone not wearing seat belts. Also how much would it suck if you fell in the water, and then waited for the car to fill, all while sinking, and then got out and a shark ate you?
That would also happen to me.
Jennifer: ok well, we don't live near sharks, so it's fine. I would worry more about letting the car fill and then not being able to get out.
Kim: i live near so many sharks.
Jennifer: there are no sharks in MA! Are there?
Kim: of course! i mean, they PREFER a warmer climate, but they are here... Did you not see JAWS?
Jennifer: My point was Jaws too actually; I was going to go, "Jaws was fake!"
Kim: there was a great white swimming around in shallow water for weeks on the cape within the past few summers, and the lifeguards do drills. Rarely, but they do them. Those were like, petrifying as a child.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
On missing pink. And pretty dresses.
Posted by: Kim
Once upon a time in the fall of 2005, I decided I wanted to dye my hair brunette. Jen was fully on board with this idea and offered to help. To no fault of her (although it is arguable that both of us could have been a little more hasty when considering the possible outcomes of applying very dark brown Duane Reade hair dye to blonde hair), 30 minutes or so later, the water in our shower was running purple.
Thus began my Goth Period, if only in hair. Once in a Starbucks the barista asked if my eyes were fake, so drastic was black hair to my overall appearance. I was pretty much a vampire, before they all had gold eyes instead of just really light eyes.
Anyway, 12 months and numerous visits to a stylist later and I finally had normal colored hair again without massive damage, and now am an adamant salon-goer. And I have achieved several different shades of brunette hair over the past few years, and liked it. However, it doesn't hold well and upkeep is expensive and I am saving all my money to quit life and travel the world, and so finally a few weeks ago I decided to go back.
I have sort of been regretting it ever since, because, despite the fact that blonde is in no way a first-time thing for me, I suddenly find myself convinced that I can wear no colors other than shades of blue, and can confirm in no uncertain terms that my hot pink headband with the palm trees on it seriously loses impact against blonde hair.
So every pretty dress I have encountered over the past week, of course, has been pink.
Up first, Marion Cotillard:
This is just So. Cute. Come on. It is. And it's a spinner, and I want it, and I would probably wear it three times a week including to work and Trader Joes. And I would spin. Alas, convinced it would wash me out right now.
And then we have Blake Lively:
Before someone inevitably and immediately jumps up to inform me that Blake is blonde and I am dumb/shallow/a huge bitch/recession unsympathetic/etc., I know that (she is blonde, not the other stuff). But pretty much if you googled the opposite of what I look like, all thousand feet tall of Blake Lively would probably pop up (except we both have kind of ... abundant ... hair), and so she can do magical mystical pink things I cannot. Also I don't have a spray tan. Anyway. Look how great this is! It is the pinkest thing I have ever seen! And I really like her shoes, and I would also wear this everywhere and glow in the dark and love every second of it. If it would not look absolutely ridiculous on me. Which it would. Sigh.
Btw, pink is not my favorite color. It probably really comes across that way, but I swear I type in pink and Jen in blue because in college when my mother would send us Easter baskets she always themed mine pink and Jen's blue and we found that sort of hilarious.
Once upon a time in the fall of 2005, I decided I wanted to dye my hair brunette. Jen was fully on board with this idea and offered to help. To no fault of her (although it is arguable that both of us could have been a little more hasty when considering the possible outcomes of applying very dark brown Duane Reade hair dye to blonde hair), 30 minutes or so later, the water in our shower was running purple.
Thus began my Goth Period, if only in hair. Once in a Starbucks the barista asked if my eyes were fake, so drastic was black hair to my overall appearance. I was pretty much a vampire, before they all had gold eyes instead of just really light eyes.
Anyway, 12 months and numerous visits to a stylist later and I finally had normal colored hair again without massive damage, and now am an adamant salon-goer. And I have achieved several different shades of brunette hair over the past few years, and liked it. However, it doesn't hold well and upkeep is expensive and I am saving all my money to quit life and travel the world, and so finally a few weeks ago I decided to go back.
I have sort of been regretting it ever since, because, despite the fact that blonde is in no way a first-time thing for me, I suddenly find myself convinced that I can wear no colors other than shades of blue, and can confirm in no uncertain terms that my hot pink headband with the palm trees on it seriously loses impact against blonde hair.
So every pretty dress I have encountered over the past week, of course, has been pink.
Up first, Marion Cotillard:
This is just So. Cute. Come on. It is. And it's a spinner, and I want it, and I would probably wear it three times a week including to work and Trader Joes. And I would spin. Alas, convinced it would wash me out right now.
And then we have Blake Lively:
Before someone inevitably and immediately jumps up to inform me that Blake is blonde and I am dumb/shallow/a huge bitch/recession unsympathetic/etc., I know that (she is blonde, not the other stuff). But pretty much if you googled the opposite of what I look like, all thousand feet tall of Blake Lively would probably pop up (except we both have kind of ... abundant ... hair), and so she can do magical mystical pink things I cannot. Also I don't have a spray tan. Anyway. Look how great this is! It is the pinkest thing I have ever seen! And I really like her shoes, and I would also wear this everywhere and glow in the dark and love every second of it. If it would not look absolutely ridiculous on me. Which it would. Sigh.
Btw, pink is not my favorite color. It probably really comes across that way, but I swear I type in pink and Jen in blue because in college when my mother would send us Easter baskets she always themed mine pink and Jen's blue and we found that sort of hilarious.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Why Can't People Just Be Normal?
Posted by: Jen
Jennifer: what is Dickchicken (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776?ref=pymk#/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776)?
omg, I hate them
"it's a litmus test"
lol
a litmus test for being a tool?
Chris: they graffiti all over Williamsburg
you always see it and it's irritating
cause they obviously think they are being clever
Jennifer: but Chris, if you were cool and clever you would like it!!!
genitals + farm animals = hip and edgy
Chris: yah according to them , it's all about having a sense of humor
Jennifer: If I could roll my eyes harder I would cause permanent damage.
Jennifer: what is Dickchicken (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776?ref=pymk#/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776)?omg, I hate them
"it's a litmus test"
lol
a litmus test for being a tool?
Chris: they graffiti all over Williamsburg
you always see it and it's irritating
cause they obviously think they are being clever
Jennifer: but Chris, if you were cool and clever you would like it!!!
genitals + farm animals = hip and edgy
Chris: yah according to them , it's all about having a sense of humor
Jennifer: If I could roll my eyes harder I would cause permanent damage.
Friday, June 26, 2009
On The Great Outdoors...
Posted by: Kim and Jen
Jennifer: I think I am going to buy one of those traveling backpacks!
Kim: nuh-uh! really?
Jennifer: yeah, like a big one… not ginormous, but I think they are often easier to handle.
I also read that airports and train stations in Europe tend to have a lot of stairs and not escalators.
Kim: hmmm. Ok, find us backpacks and I will buy one too. We will be so cute!
Jennifer: I know! Ha, plus if we're walking to our hotel it will be easier with a backpack than a suitcase!
Kim: yeah that is true. This will be my first experience traveling in Europe where I’m not coming from London so I could just pack in a like duffel bag, or on family vacation so there was a car. So where do we buy backpacks from? These will be so clutch for GREECE, OMG. LOL!
Jennifer: yeah and wherever else we go ever -- I want to go to Italy too!
Jennifer: http://www.sonomaoutfitters.com/istar.asp?a=6&id=31625%21025
Kim: Eeeeee! Hahaha!
I am going to look SO. FUNNY. with a backpack.
Jennifer: And the bonbon dress! (http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Feature_Assortment/NewArrivals/dresses/PRDOVR~15324/15324.jsp)
Kim: I am glad you immediately imagined that too, because I went right there with the visual.
So how does this backpack work? Can I get a red one?
Jennifer: sure
Kim: where is a red one? I have no idea how to shop for this!
Jennifer: I will probably go to EMS or something… do we have those in NY?
Kim: you either have to tell me, or I will go to EMS and somehow buy whatever they say
LOL
Jennifer: yeah I don't know if we do. I know there is a campy outdoors store near Union Square though
Kim: why?
Jennifer: I don't know, some NY people like to say they are outdoorsy I guess
Kim: I am outdoorsy. Meaning I like outdoors.
Not bugs. or camping.
Here’s the thing: camping is SO DUMB.
Okay, like the things about camping I like are the water sports and nature walks and neither of those require sleeping on the dirt or bug spray, so why throw that into the mix?
Also like the only coffee option is INSTANT!!! It is so not fun.
Jennifer: I like camping but only if there are showers, and a tent with a floor.
When I used to go camping with my friends, in the morning I would get up and drive like 20 minutes to get coffee
Kim: haha excellent! Mine were all like, you have not eaten eggs until they were cooked over campfire! And I was like, lukewarm and there's a bug in it, can we go to Starbucks?!
Like I swear I am not high maintenance but.
Jennifer: I also don't really like getting dirty that much, which is why the shower is necessary… I have been to ones that don't have it and I had to go in a river after running. Oh god.
Kim: yeah, this is why I hold that 'outdoorsy' is so arbitrary; there is good and bad of it. It's the people who must convince the world they are outdoorsy by not showering and sleeping on the ground that give those of us who like to shower a bad name!
Jennifer: I also hate camping clothing because it means I wear my running clothes all the time… like, you can't wear anything good because it's not outdoorsy, so suddenly I'm wearing a sports bra 24/7
Kim: I know! And the 'cool' outdoorsy clothes are so not… like hiking boots and ugly colored fleeces and dirty pants
Jennifer: I know… I feel like a lot of people would make fun of us about this
Kim: well it's true though! Like, I’m sure the track team was not quite the same, but similar to the sailing and there were those athletes at school who were so like, here is my backpack and my hiking keychain and my steel water bottle and my Lauren Conrad braid before she did them and my no makeup and I was like, I aspire never to be that girl.
Jennifer: yeah no, most of them we hiking outdoorsy people and they were all HIKING ROCK CLIMBING YEAH and I was like, aren't you tired from running, don't you want to watch a movie?
Kim: like the second we'd get out of a boat they'd be like, let's go climb a mountain or ski!
Or shop, but for $800 fleece camping sleep pants or something absurd…
A thousand dollar watch that tells you what continent you're on. IN CASE YOU GET THAT LOST.
Jennifer: I can tell you what continent I'm on without a watch. And god help me if I ever get that lost and think a watch will save me.
Kim: Exactly! I am like, okay if I were lost in the woods in an unknown continent I am pretty much fucked. And will rely on common sense and adorability -- adorability helps in being rescued. I mean, know your strengths and weaknesses, people!!!
Jennifer: yeah I feel like at that point knowing that you stumbled into Africa won't really make a difference
Kim: I am not the type of person whose camping gear and skill would save her
So, I’d just try to be nice and hope a bear didn’t eat me, I guess.
Jennifer: I think I am going to buy one of those traveling backpacks!
Kim: nuh-uh! really?
Jennifer: yeah, like a big one… not ginormous, but I think they are often easier to handle.
I also read that airports and train stations in Europe tend to have a lot of stairs and not escalators.
Kim: hmmm. Ok, find us backpacks and I will buy one too. We will be so cute!
Jennifer: I know! Ha, plus if we're walking to our hotel it will be easier with a backpack than a suitcase!
Kim: yeah that is true. This will be my first experience traveling in Europe where I’m not coming from London so I could just pack in a like duffel bag, or on family vacation so there was a car. So where do we buy backpacks from? These will be so clutch for GREECE, OMG. LOL!
Jennifer: yeah and wherever else we go ever -- I want to go to Italy too!
Jennifer: http://www.sonomaoutfitters.com/istar.asp?a=6&id=31625%21025
Kim: Eeeeee! Hahaha!
I am going to look SO. FUNNY. with a backpack.
Jennifer: And the bonbon dress! (http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Feature_Assortment/NewArrivals/dresses/PRDOVR~15324/15324.jsp)
Kim: I am glad you immediately imagined that too, because I went right there with the visual.
So how does this backpack work? Can I get a red one?
Jennifer: sure
Kim: where is a red one? I have no idea how to shop for this!
Jennifer: I will probably go to EMS or something… do we have those in NY?
Kim: you either have to tell me, or I will go to EMS and somehow buy whatever they say
LOL
Jennifer: yeah I don't know if we do. I know there is a campy outdoors store near Union Square though
Kim: why?
Jennifer: I don't know, some NY people like to say they are outdoorsy I guess
Kim: I am outdoorsy. Meaning I like outdoors.
Not bugs. or camping.
Here’s the thing: camping is SO DUMB.
Okay, like the things about camping I like are the water sports and nature walks and neither of those require sleeping on the dirt or bug spray, so why throw that into the mix?
Also like the only coffee option is INSTANT!!! It is so not fun.
Jennifer: I like camping but only if there are showers, and a tent with a floor.
When I used to go camping with my friends, in the morning I would get up and drive like 20 minutes to get coffee
Kim: haha excellent! Mine were all like, you have not eaten eggs until they were cooked over campfire! And I was like, lukewarm and there's a bug in it, can we go to Starbucks?!
Like I swear I am not high maintenance but.
Jennifer: I also don't really like getting dirty that much, which is why the shower is necessary… I have been to ones that don't have it and I had to go in a river after running. Oh god.
Kim: yeah, this is why I hold that 'outdoorsy' is so arbitrary; there is good and bad of it. It's the people who must convince the world they are outdoorsy by not showering and sleeping on the ground that give those of us who like to shower a bad name!
Jennifer: I also hate camping clothing because it means I wear my running clothes all the time… like, you can't wear anything good because it's not outdoorsy, so suddenly I'm wearing a sports bra 24/7
Kim: I know! And the 'cool' outdoorsy clothes are so not… like hiking boots and ugly colored fleeces and dirty pants
Jennifer: I know… I feel like a lot of people would make fun of us about this
Kim: well it's true though! Like, I’m sure the track team was not quite the same, but similar to the sailing and there were those athletes at school who were so like, here is my backpack and my hiking keychain and my steel water bottle and my Lauren Conrad braid before she did them and my no makeup and I was like, I aspire never to be that girl.
Jennifer: yeah no, most of them we hiking outdoorsy people and they were all HIKING ROCK CLIMBING YEAH and I was like, aren't you tired from running, don't you want to watch a movie?
Kim: like the second we'd get out of a boat they'd be like, let's go climb a mountain or ski!
Or shop, but for $800 fleece camping sleep pants or something absurd…
A thousand dollar watch that tells you what continent you're on. IN CASE YOU GET THAT LOST.
Jennifer: I can tell you what continent I'm on without a watch. And god help me if I ever get that lost and think a watch will save me.
Kim: Exactly! I am like, okay if I were lost in the woods in an unknown continent I am pretty much fucked. And will rely on common sense and adorability -- adorability helps in being rescued. I mean, know your strengths and weaknesses, people!!!
Jennifer: yeah I feel like at that point knowing that you stumbled into Africa won't really make a difference
Kim: I am not the type of person whose camping gear and skill would save her
So, I’d just try to be nice and hope a bear didn’t eat me, I guess.
On priorities. Or, the cynical react.
Posted by: Kim and Jen
Jennifer: So. Are you sad about Michael Jackson? Because seems like everyone in the world is distraught but me.
Jennifer: I'm like, soooo he was a creepy dude who did shady things but made good music back in the day and now he's dead. Oh well.
Kimberley: Oh, yeah, no. I mean, it is kind of like, WHOA! really?! nuts. But, i mean, I didn't know him and he didn't make music anymore, soooo i really felt no personal anything to the event.
Jennifer: Yeah. I feel nothing, I wonder if I have mental problems. But honestly I get more upset when book characters die than celebrities because I feel like I have more invested in book characters.
Kimberley: No, I agree. I mean, I actually think it's kind of awful that people get so devasted by the death of celebrities. Like it's sad that people die in general, but also, um, people die. In general. Many from far worse causes, in far worse ways, with much sadder stories.
Jennifer: Yeah you're right. people who mourn CELEBRITIES are the ones with problems
I'm going to mourn the people being beaten to death in Iran for protesting insead.
Kimberley: Yes! for real though.
Jennifer: At first I felt really callous because I didn't care at all about MJ and everyone else did.
Kimberley: That's the thing. That is happening and no one cares. But stop the presses, a famous person died! Of natural causes.
Jennifer: I do, I am rooting for the ladies, they need to stop the madness over there. He died of a drug overdose, I think. But still, that's normal. Ha.
Kimberley: Well that's the thing. If Lindsay Lohan smashed into a tree tomorrow, Hollywood would piss on itself and like, darken the sign in the hills or whatever. It's all very backwards.
Jennifer: And they'd be like, "She really WAS the next Marilyn Monroe!" When before everyone was like, "haha addict wannabe Marilyn!"
Kimberley: Exactly. I was listening to the radio this am and they were talking about MJ and two of the talkers were like, it is SO SAD and one was like, you know what though, what a creep he was. And the other two were like ZOMG!!11!!!! I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER HIM IN THRILLER DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BABY DANGLING THING!!! And the other one was like, 'see this is what is wrong with people.' And i was like, oh I'd be his friend.
Jennifer: I mean, when you're dead isn't it a better time to talk shit because you can't hear it?
When I die I want people to say I ate puppies.
Kimberley: Ha! Ok, if you go first i promise I'll manifest that to no end.
Jennifer: Ok, what do you want me to say about you?
Kimberley: Probably that I kept an ice pick in my Chanel scarf and would stealthily stab ugly people on the subway.
Jennifer: Oh, I like it. I will be like 96 and have a flask of martini and stand up and say it at your funeral. I will also sprinkle cocaine on your casket as they lower it into the ground.
Jennifer: So. Are you sad about Michael Jackson? Because seems like everyone in the world is distraught but me.
Jennifer: I'm like, soooo he was a creepy dude who did shady things but made good music back in the day and now he's dead. Oh well.
Kimberley: Oh, yeah, no. I mean, it is kind of like, WHOA! really?! nuts. But, i mean, I didn't know him and he didn't make music anymore, soooo i really felt no personal anything to the event.
Jennifer: Yeah. I feel nothing, I wonder if I have mental problems. But honestly I get more upset when book characters die than celebrities because I feel like I have more invested in book characters.
Kimberley: No, I agree. I mean, I actually think it's kind of awful that people get so devasted by the death of celebrities. Like it's sad that people die in general, but also, um, people die. In general. Many from far worse causes, in far worse ways, with much sadder stories.
Jennifer: Yeah you're right. people who mourn CELEBRITIES are the ones with problems
I'm going to mourn the people being beaten to death in Iran for protesting insead.
Kimberley: Yes! for real though.
Jennifer: At first I felt really callous because I didn't care at all about MJ and everyone else did.
Kimberley: That's the thing. That is happening and no one cares. But stop the presses, a famous person died! Of natural causes.
Jennifer: I do, I am rooting for the ladies, they need to stop the madness over there. He died of a drug overdose, I think. But still, that's normal. Ha.
Kimberley: Well that's the thing. If Lindsay Lohan smashed into a tree tomorrow, Hollywood would piss on itself and like, darken the sign in the hills or whatever. It's all very backwards.
Jennifer: And they'd be like, "She really WAS the next Marilyn Monroe!" When before everyone was like, "haha addict wannabe Marilyn!"
Kimberley: Exactly. I was listening to the radio this am and they were talking about MJ and two of the talkers were like, it is SO SAD and one was like, you know what though, what a creep he was. And the other two were like ZOMG!!11!!!! I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER HIM IN THRILLER DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BABY DANGLING THING!!! And the other one was like, 'see this is what is wrong with people.' And i was like, oh I'd be his friend.
Jennifer: I mean, when you're dead isn't it a better time to talk shit because you can't hear it?
When I die I want people to say I ate puppies.
Kimberley: Ha! Ok, if you go first i promise I'll manifest that to no end.
Jennifer: Ok, what do you want me to say about you?
Kimberley: Probably that I kept an ice pick in my Chanel scarf and would stealthily stab ugly people on the subway.
Jennifer: Oh, I like it. I will be like 96 and have a flask of martini and stand up and say it at your funeral. I will also sprinkle cocaine on your casket as they lower it into the ground.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
We Aren't Dead. Also, Kim Jen Madrid Barcelona!
Posted by: Kim
Hi, hi, world, hi.
Jen and I forgot to blog for a really long time, but I hereby swear that I am starting again (I know all three of you readers have been devasted heretofore ... I ... just wanted to use that word, I don't even know if I did so properly).
Anyway, for my first post as a self re-instated blogger, I really have nothing to say, actually. I'm having difficulties completing a single thought at work. Though, here's a little gem that came from today:
Kim: "So. (Redacted client whose case was just transferred to me) is going to be nice and cooperative and we will have this closed by Tuesday, yes?"
Boss: "No. I can promise you right here, right now, that no, that is not how it will be. He is going to be stupid and annoying and push your deadlines to deadlines that didn't even used to exist. On the 1-10 Scale of Stupid and Annoying, he is a 9, and I would give him an 11, but that is Stupid and Annoying, and somehow 10 seems less bad than 9. So he's a 9. Also he'll stare at you to an uncomfortable degree."
Awesome.
In other news, our favorite Adam Lambert is still our favorite and he's in the American Idol finale along with Kris Allen, who is just a lovely little lemon meringue pie tartlet of a person and we adore him too, so, this is great on all accounts! I am sad to report the degree to which this ridiculous karaoke competition has infiltrated my life, but, alas. Glitterpainting my Adam Lambert t-shirt this weekend.
In other sparkly tv news, it appears no one listened to me and watched Kings, which is all of your loss and I hate you and blame you for its apparent cancellation. On the upside, I saw Carter Baizen in the preview for the Gossip Girl finale, immediately deduced that with Kings dead this frees him up to be a regular in Season 3, and I proceeded to throw myself on the floor and flail around giggling with glee at the prospect. Sebastian Stan really just needs to grace all my television shows, please.
And in other, other news not relating to tv whatsoever, we are going to Spain! Je parle francais but my Spanish is sadly (yet spectacularly, somehow) limited to cauderno (that means notebook), but Jen is already practicing hers and I'm getting a book. It. Is. Going. To. Be. Epic. Allegedly we might skate by without sticking out too much because we shop at Zara, but my blonde hair is questionable. We don't care anyway. Ole!
Clearly I'm the same as I ever was, which is apparently shallow, as that nice anonymous* commenter deduced from my innocent post on sneakers. This is good news for you all, as it means that after taking the high road for like ten seconds, obviously my next post is going to be tearing anonymous* commenters who say absurd things to shreds. And I'll still be posting about shoes!
SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN!
* I know who you are, asshat. Stop posting anonymously on my fluffy little blog. You are way too old to act like an outcast 16-year-old. Like, way, way, way, wrinkly-and-with-the-confirmation-of-your-cat-lady-fate-breathing-down-your-neck too old.
Hi, hi, world, hi.
Jen and I forgot to blog for a really long time, but I hereby swear that I am starting again (I know all three of you readers have been devasted heretofore ... I ... just wanted to use that word, I don't even know if I did so properly).
Anyway, for my first post as a self re-instated blogger, I really have nothing to say, actually. I'm having difficulties completing a single thought at work. Though, here's a little gem that came from today:
Kim: "So. (Redacted client whose case was just transferred to me) is going to be nice and cooperative and we will have this closed by Tuesday, yes?"
Boss: "No. I can promise you right here, right now, that no, that is not how it will be. He is going to be stupid and annoying and push your deadlines to deadlines that didn't even used to exist. On the 1-10 Scale of Stupid and Annoying, he is a 9, and I would give him an 11, but that is Stupid and Annoying, and somehow 10 seems less bad than 9. So he's a 9. Also he'll stare at you to an uncomfortable degree."
Awesome.
In other news, our favorite Adam Lambert is still our favorite and he's in the American Idol finale along with Kris Allen, who is just a lovely little lemon meringue pie tartlet of a person and we adore him too, so, this is great on all accounts! I am sad to report the degree to which this ridiculous karaoke competition has infiltrated my life, but, alas. Glitterpainting my Adam Lambert t-shirt this weekend.
In other sparkly tv news, it appears no one listened to me and watched Kings, which is all of your loss and I hate you and blame you for its apparent cancellation. On the upside, I saw Carter Baizen in the preview for the Gossip Girl finale, immediately deduced that with Kings dead this frees him up to be a regular in Season 3, and I proceeded to throw myself on the floor and flail around giggling with glee at the prospect. Sebastian Stan really just needs to grace all my television shows, please.
And in other, other news not relating to tv whatsoever, we are going to Spain! Je parle francais but my Spanish is sadly (yet spectacularly, somehow) limited to cauderno (that means notebook), but Jen is already practicing hers and I'm getting a book. It. Is. Going. To. Be. Epic. Allegedly we might skate by without sticking out too much because we shop at Zara, but my blonde hair is questionable. We don't care anyway. Ole!
Clearly I'm the same as I ever was, which is apparently shallow, as that nice anonymous* commenter deduced from my innocent post on sneakers. This is good news for you all, as it means that after taking the high road for like ten seconds, obviously my next post is going to be tearing anonymous* commenters who say absurd things to shreds. And I'll still be posting about shoes!
SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN!
* I know who you are, asshat. Stop posting anonymously on my fluffy little blog. You are way too old to act like an outcast 16-year-old. Like, way, way, way, wrinkly-and-with-the-confirmation-of-your-cat-lady-fate-breathing-down-your-neck too old.
Monday, March 23, 2009
I Have Met My Match
Posted by: Jen
A client brought us Girl Scout cookies today. Normally, when it comes to sweets and desserts, I can eat one or two and be happy that I ate it because dessert is delicious and nutritious and scientifically proven to make you awesome.* However, Girl Scout cookies are just cracktastic! I can't just eat one. Or three. Oh dear god, that little box is calling me. I have Thin Mints AND SAMOAS which, if there is a god, he created those bitches on the eighth day because they are PERFECTION and also have 30% of your recommended dose of saturated fat for the day, so. Yeah.
*None of that is true.
A client brought us Girl Scout cookies today. Normally, when it comes to sweets and desserts, I can eat one or two and be happy that I ate it because dessert is delicious and nutritious and scientifically proven to make you awesome.* However, Girl Scout cookies are just cracktastic! I can't just eat one. Or three. Oh dear god, that little box is calling me. I have Thin Mints AND SAMOAS which, if there is a god, he created those bitches on the eighth day because they are PERFECTION and also have 30% of your recommended dose of saturated fat for the day, so. Yeah. *None of that is true.
Friday, March 20, 2009
OMFG.
Posted by: Kim
President Obama is Gossip Girl fan!
Or he could just be AWARE of it, I know, but whatever.
President Obama is Gossip Girl fan!
Or he could just be AWARE of it, I know, but whatever.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I Remain Firmly Aboard The Adam Train, Thx.
Posted by: Kim
I did not watch American Idol last night, because it was St. Patrick's Day and I was busy and also I think I'm kind of over watching it in general, because, as I discussed with Jen, the only thing you can even watch on it is Adam because it's really just people standing around singing cover songs and that's only fun when it's people you know or they are crazy fucking awesome scary insane like Adam Lambert. So.
Anyway, though, I wasn't sad because I heard it was Grand Old Opry week anyway, and I sort of hate to be one of those people who's all, "I hate country music!" because I think the people who feel the need to profess that usually have kind of crap taste in music, but I sort of do hate most country music that's not like Patsy Cline or Ryan Adams (who's borderline even at his most country anyway), so, yeah, I like really just did not care to hear Danny Gokey sing The Dance or whatever the fuck stupid song he picked, thanks.
So then I got to work this morning and my co-worker Amy and I were listening to some popular radio station that plays stuff I recognize but couldn't name and also sometimes has this spectacular 80's hour where they play allllll my karaoke signatures, and then all of a sudden this insane version of Ring of Fire came on. Like it sounded like Jeff Buckley and Thom Yorke had a baby in India and it started crying and burning and wailing and fucking being awesome and terrifying all over everyone's face.
And Amy and I were simultaneously like, "HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE! ALSO I'M SO CONFUSED AND SCARED! BUT PSYCHED ABOUT IT!"
Yeah, so obviously it was Adam Lambert's performance from last night, and so the radio dudes immediately are like AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS TEH WORST THING EVAR! And Amy and I are like, oh, back up the bus. Here it comes: "How dare you, 1) Touch a Johnny Cash song! and 2) Sing it different than he did!!!!"
So obviously that's exactly what they screamed about for a while, as Amy's like, "but it was so awesome though!" and I'm all, "But I think Johnny Cash would have died in a good way if he saw that, like Johnny Cash was a crazy motherfucker with a sick sense of humor and he totally would have loved Adam Lambert going all sparkly gay vampire psycho goth theatre boi on Ring of Fire, I swear! And if it's good enough for him, why can't the rest of the world get over the stupid Walk the Line movie already, christ!"
We proceeded to immediately youtube it and then totally died. Okay, cause first of all, it was so great when Ryan was all, "So, Adam, are you going to turn in a restrained, country style performance tonight?" and Adam was totally just like, dude, no, what, and also, heehee. And then Randy Travis was so scared of him! OMG. So funny. And sad and pathetic. But mostly funny.
And then! AND THEN! Like, okay. I will admit, I was ... uncomfortable? It was just so weird to watch, like, dude has a sick voice, clearly, so on the radio it was just like, omg eerie and amazing and somehow beautiful and scary at once! But on screen it was like you had to look away but you couldn't look away and then he was doing the vampire eye thing and really, really thinking about taking his clothes off and the burns burns burns, like, I couldn't handle it and I sort of totally got what Simon said about people throwing their televisions out the window because I kind of wanted to do so with my computer, but not because I thought the performance was blasphemous and terrible like Simon was saying we should think, but because I couldn't stand watching it. In a good way. And a scared, confused way. Like when I go to an Adam Lambert concert, for which I will totally buy advance tickets, someone will probably need to hold my hand because of sensory overload and panic and I will love every second.
Also, he should absolutely win this show if this stage in the competition is an indication, because we then went on to watch other selected performances and of other people I like (Alexis) I have to say: That was it? You sang Jolene, and you have that voice, and that is all you turned in? I mean, I hope for her sake most of her fans don't know and love the song, because that song is incredible and she was like a bored karaoke singer at best. And I'm not trying to contradict myself here and say she should have sang it like Dolly Parton, I mean, if she wanted to sing it Adam Lambert sparkle-scary style with some sitars or whatever the Alexis Grace equivalent to that would be and rocked the hell out of it, I could have got behind that. What I am saying is that that song is way, way too powerful and emotional for what she did. I have heard far superior performances of that song by people with far less vocal talent than Alexis, honestly.
And as far as Kris, who the judges collectively creamed themselves over ... I liked it fine. I would listen to that on the radio, if Kris were singing it. Or Jason Mraz. Whoever. You know. Someone whose album I would not buy and who I would never pay a Live Nation fee to see in concert no matter how cute he is or how nice and relaxing and lovely his voice is to listen to.
AND, as far as Matt (who the judges REALLY creamed themselves over) goes: See exhibit: Kris. Except Matt was way better than hime this time, and I think he (Matt) actually is a little underrated so I am glad he is getting attention now, but I would really like to see him bust something open cause I think he can do it and I just don't get why he hasn't yet.
Oh, and Anoop finally sang pretty! But, that was kind of it.
So, moral of the post, if I had voted, it still would have been for Adam.
I did not watch American Idol last night, because it was St. Patrick's Day and I was busy and also I think I'm kind of over watching it in general, because, as I discussed with Jen, the only thing you can even watch on it is Adam because it's really just people standing around singing cover songs and that's only fun when it's people you know or they are crazy fucking awesome scary insane like Adam Lambert. So.
Anyway, though, I wasn't sad because I heard it was Grand Old Opry week anyway, and I sort of hate to be one of those people who's all, "I hate country music!" because I think the people who feel the need to profess that usually have kind of crap taste in music, but I sort of do hate most country music that's not like Patsy Cline or Ryan Adams (who's borderline even at his most country anyway), so, yeah, I like really just did not care to hear Danny Gokey sing The Dance or whatever the fuck stupid song he picked, thanks.
So then I got to work this morning and my co-worker Amy and I were listening to some popular radio station that plays stuff I recognize but couldn't name and also sometimes has this spectacular 80's hour where they play allllll my karaoke signatures, and then all of a sudden this insane version of Ring of Fire came on. Like it sounded like Jeff Buckley and Thom Yorke had a baby in India and it started crying and burning and wailing and fucking being awesome and terrifying all over everyone's face.
And Amy and I were simultaneously like, "HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE! ALSO I'M SO CONFUSED AND SCARED! BUT PSYCHED ABOUT IT!"
Yeah, so obviously it was Adam Lambert's performance from last night, and so the radio dudes immediately are like AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS TEH WORST THING EVAR! And Amy and I are like, oh, back up the bus. Here it comes: "How dare you, 1) Touch a Johnny Cash song! and 2) Sing it different than he did!!!!"
So obviously that's exactly what they screamed about for a while, as Amy's like, "but it was so awesome though!" and I'm all, "But I think Johnny Cash would have died in a good way if he saw that, like Johnny Cash was a crazy motherfucker with a sick sense of humor and he totally would have loved Adam Lambert going all sparkly gay vampire psycho goth theatre boi on Ring of Fire, I swear! And if it's good enough for him, why can't the rest of the world get over the stupid Walk the Line movie already, christ!"
We proceeded to immediately youtube it and then totally died. Okay, cause first of all, it was so great when Ryan was all, "So, Adam, are you going to turn in a restrained, country style performance tonight?" and Adam was totally just like, dude, no, what, and also, heehee. And then Randy Travis was so scared of him! OMG. So funny. And sad and pathetic. But mostly funny.
And then! AND THEN! Like, okay. I will admit, I was ... uncomfortable? It was just so weird to watch, like, dude has a sick voice, clearly, so on the radio it was just like, omg eerie and amazing and somehow beautiful and scary at once! But on screen it was like you had to look away but you couldn't look away and then he was doing the vampire eye thing and really, really thinking about taking his clothes off and the burns burns burns, like, I couldn't handle it and I sort of totally got what Simon said about people throwing their televisions out the window because I kind of wanted to do so with my computer, but not because I thought the performance was blasphemous and terrible like Simon was saying we should think, but because I couldn't stand watching it. In a good way. And a scared, confused way. Like when I go to an Adam Lambert concert, for which I will totally buy advance tickets, someone will probably need to hold my hand because of sensory overload and panic and I will love every second.
Also, he should absolutely win this show if this stage in the competition is an indication, because we then went on to watch other selected performances and of other people I like (Alexis) I have to say: That was it? You sang Jolene, and you have that voice, and that is all you turned in? I mean, I hope for her sake most of her fans don't know and love the song, because that song is incredible and she was like a bored karaoke singer at best. And I'm not trying to contradict myself here and say she should have sang it like Dolly Parton, I mean, if she wanted to sing it Adam Lambert sparkle-scary style with some sitars or whatever the Alexis Grace equivalent to that would be and rocked the hell out of it, I could have got behind that. What I am saying is that that song is way, way too powerful and emotional for what she did. I have heard far superior performances of that song by people with far less vocal talent than Alexis, honestly.
And as far as Kris, who the judges collectively creamed themselves over ... I liked it fine. I would listen to that on the radio, if Kris were singing it. Or Jason Mraz. Whoever. You know. Someone whose album I would not buy and who I would never pay a Live Nation fee to see in concert no matter how cute he is or how nice and relaxing and lovely his voice is to listen to.
AND, as far as Matt (who the judges REALLY creamed themselves over) goes: See exhibit: Kris. Except Matt was way better than hime this time, and I think he (Matt) actually is a little underrated so I am glad he is getting attention now, but I would really like to see him bust something open cause I think he can do it and I just don't get why he hasn't yet.
Oh, and Anoop finally sang pretty! But, that was kind of it.
So, moral of the post, if I had voted, it still would have been for Adam.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Help Me Pick Out Sneakers, Please.
Posted by: Kim
Last night after GG I somehow watched five minutes of True Life: I'm a Shopaholic, or something like that, and I'm not sure if I should have been nervous or comforted by seeing it, but in any case, I'm nothing like that crazy bitch from Queens and yes, I'm shopping for shoes again.
But I have limits, and also I don't like to buy the same thing in different colors, so even though I'm in love with all of these, I can clearly only have one.
Vote!
Thoughts so far include:
Jennifer: navy dots is the safest as far as getting dirty goes
me: yes, i was thinking that.
though yellow is the cutest as far as being the cutest ever goes.
and blue is the awesomest.
me: yes, i was thinking that.
though yellow is the cutest as far as being the cutest ever goes.
and blue is the awesomest.
Jennifer: agreed.
me: i am going to put them on our blog and see if anyone will vote. prob not, because i think they only comment when they hate.
me: i am going to put them on our blog and see if anyone will vote. prob not, because i think they only comment when they hate.
Jennifer: they'll tell you that there is a recession going on and you are a vapid bitch for daring to want shoes.
PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR HOUSES.
PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR HOUSES.
me: lol. also that i should not think twilight is a guilty pleasure because it's real literature, and i only like guys with fuckety faces and also prom dresses.
okay, so the haters might be on to something, but they are looking at it ALL WRONG.
okay, so the haters might be on to something, but they are looking at it ALL WRONG.
plus, i need shoes to walk in, god.
A)
B)
C)
Monday, March 16, 2009
In Which I Cannot Do Monday.
Posted by: Kim
Today I feel horrifically hungover despite the fact that I did not drink last night. I did drink Saturday night, but it wasn't that much and it was my go-to for non-hangover drunkenness, (and favorite) vodka. But anyway, I can see no other explanation for feeling like this aside from Jen's suggestion of cancer, so I'm thinking I am experiencing a delayed hangover. And it's bad.
Bad enough that my eyes are unfocused enough and I am confused enough that I just walked into my office carrying a salad and an empty iced coffee cup, and proceeded to set the empty cup on my desk and throw my salad in the recycling bin.
Sigh.
And I'm HUNGRY, thanks.
Today I feel horrifically hungover despite the fact that I did not drink last night. I did drink Saturday night, but it wasn't that much and it was my go-to for non-hangover drunkenness, (and favorite) vodka. But anyway, I can see no other explanation for feeling like this aside from Jen's suggestion of cancer, so I'm thinking I am experiencing a delayed hangover. And it's bad.
Bad enough that my eyes are unfocused enough and I am confused enough that I just walked into my office carrying a salad and an empty iced coffee cup, and proceeded to set the empty cup on my desk and throw my salad in the recycling bin.
Sigh.
And I'm HUNGRY, thanks.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My apartment can SOMETIMES find the Internet now...
Posted by: Kim
Hi, hi, I'm checking in while I briefly have Internet to pimp out a TV show I have never seen but that is my new favorite because Carter Baizen is in it and I love him and also (to a lesser degree, because I am that sad and shallow and so it's mostly about Carter) I think it will be Important Television! With Important Themes and Messages Relevant To Society Today! Or at least layered or whatever, like they tell me Lost is.
Anyway, everyone watch Kings. Who doesn't want Sunday night TV? People who know about TV tell me this is actually a bad time slot and thus the show will immediately be canceled. Also, that the show is going to be too smart for people to want to watch. But, um, no. It's going to be awesome. Sunday night TV about an alternate universe King David? Who doesn't love David's story? It's the best, most gay story in the Bible ever! Let's go!
Also, Carter Baizen, hi. I don't know (or care) what his name is on Kings yet. In real life it's Sebastian, though, which is probably even marginally cooler than Carter Baizen. And he dates Leighton! And I love him.
It's better than the time I read all four Twilight books because of a sort of crush on Robert Pattinson at least, isn't it?
Hi, hi, I'm checking in while I briefly have Internet to pimp out a TV show I have never seen but that is my new favorite because Carter Baizen is in it and I love him and also (to a lesser degree, because I am that sad and shallow and so it's mostly about Carter) I think it will be Important Television! With Important Themes and Messages Relevant To Society Today! Or at least layered or whatever, like they tell me Lost is.
Anyway, everyone watch Kings. Who doesn't want Sunday night TV? People who know about TV tell me this is actually a bad time slot and thus the show will immediately be canceled. Also, that the show is going to be too smart for people to want to watch. But, um, no. It's going to be awesome. Sunday night TV about an alternate universe King David? Who doesn't love David's story? It's the best, most gay story in the Bible ever! Let's go!
Also, Carter Baizen, hi. I don't know (or care) what his name is on Kings yet. In real life it's Sebastian, though, which is probably even marginally cooler than Carter Baizen. And he dates Leighton! And I love him.
It's better than the time I read all four Twilight books because of a sort of crush on Robert Pattinson at least, isn't it?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Ricky And Elmo Are Hilarious!
Posted by: Jen
Extras NOW, because it is possibly the funniest show ever. Or just watch his I have little tolerance for Elmo usually, as people who like him are generally people I don't enjoy, such as small children and adults who think it is cute to like children's things -- ugh. Ugh! Does anyone remember in high school, how some girls would like, "Loovvveeee Pooh (or Tigger or Piglet. Actually, I believe the girls who loved Piglet were the worst of them) and like totally talked in baby voices and wore Pooh sweatshirts and said things like "Liberry"? Yeah. Anyway, I forget where I was going with that but this is a video of Ricky Gervais (everyone go and Netflix The Extras because it could be the funniest show EVER or just watch his stand up and pee your pants laughing, whatever.) and Elmo is fantastic. While Elmo still sounds obnoxious, the person with the hand up his butt clearly has a sense of humor, and suddenly Elmo becomes kind of like one of those freaky children who speaks and has mannerisms like an adult.*
Also, realization of MY LIFE: I finally realized who my grandmother sounds exactly like. And it is Elmo.
*Digression: Do you know what kind of children I am talking about? They are children, that have been so brainwashed by adults that they parrot back everything they have been told, but do it in the same manner as the adult who told them about it. For instance, the other day my BF and I watched Jesus Camp, which is a documentary about a Pentecostal Evangelical summer camp and mannnnn it borders on child abuse but that is not the point. The point is the kids talk about religion and clearly their parents have been feeding them the lines for so long, they start to resemble miniature 40 year olds in their ways of speaking and mannerisms. Freaky. But this is really another post. Anyway.
Extras NOW, because it is possibly the funniest show ever. Or just watch his I have little tolerance for Elmo usually, as people who like him are generally people I don't enjoy, such as small children and adults who think it is cute to like children's things -- ugh. Ugh! Does anyone remember in high school, how some girls would like, "Loovvveeee Pooh (or Tigger or Piglet. Actually, I believe the girls who loved Piglet were the worst of them) and like totally talked in baby voices and wore Pooh sweatshirts and said things like "Liberry"? Yeah. Anyway, I forget where I was going with that but this is a video of Ricky Gervais (everyone go and Netflix The Extras because it could be the funniest show EVER or just watch his stand up and pee your pants laughing, whatever.) and Elmo is fantastic. While Elmo still sounds obnoxious, the person with the hand up his butt clearly has a sense of humor, and suddenly Elmo becomes kind of like one of those freaky children who speaks and has mannerisms like an adult.*
Also, realization of MY LIFE: I finally realized who my grandmother sounds exactly like. And it is Elmo.
*Digression: Do you know what kind of children I am talking about? They are children, that have been so brainwashed by adults that they parrot back everything they have been told, but do it in the same manner as the adult who told them about it. For instance, the other day my BF and I watched Jesus Camp, which is a documentary about a Pentecostal Evangelical summer camp and mannnnn it borders on child abuse but that is not the point. The point is the kids talk about religion and clearly their parents have been feeding them the lines for so long, they start to resemble miniature 40 year olds in their ways of speaking and mannerisms. Freaky. But this is really another post. Anyway.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Whitney Offends Me
Posted by: Jen
I will give you all a moment to reflect upon the image below, and remember before you stare too hard: things that are seen cannot be un-seen.
You've been warned.
So, like, what the fuck Whitney? You move to NY and live "downtown" (which is really uptown) and really, really need to prove that you are not that bland blond CA girl? And you've decided to do this in the most ridiculously ugly way possible by draping yourself in the leftover wardrobe from Flash Dance while wearing (sooooo summer 2007, btw, if you care) neon nerd glasses?* Gah, you make me so mad. So mad. And your stupid MATCHING pink nylon bag, WHY?!?! Please just get over yourself and go back to wearing Tory Burch flats and peasant tops and stop designing because it suuuuuccckkksss (really, you don't hold a candle to Bilson or even LC) and move back to LA, because that look is really just LA trying to be NY and it's kind of sad.
*Digression: What is the point of the stupid nerd glasses? They have been uglying up the faces of Brooklyn's masses for two years now, and I do not see the point, and I absolutely hate them and still would even if someone told me the point. They are not cute; they make you look ugly. And I know some girls are so beautiful, uglying up themselves is kind of cool because they still look stunning, but that does not take away from the fact that you have 1970's style child molester glasses on your face!
I will give you all a moment to reflect upon the image below, and remember before you stare too hard: things that are seen cannot be un-seen.
You've been warned.
So, like, what the fuck Whitney? You move to NY and live "downtown" (which is really uptown) and really, really need to prove that you are not that bland blond CA girl? And you've decided to do this in the most ridiculously ugly way possible by draping yourself in the leftover wardrobe from Flash Dance while wearing (sooooo summer 2007, btw, if you care) neon nerd glasses?* Gah, you make me so mad. So mad. And your stupid MATCHING pink nylon bag, WHY?!?! Please just get over yourself and go back to wearing Tory Burch flats and peasant tops and stop designing because it suuuuuccckkksss (really, you don't hold a candle to Bilson or even LC) and move back to LA, because that look is really just LA trying to be NY and it's kind of sad.*Digression: What is the point of the stupid nerd glasses? They have been uglying up the faces of Brooklyn's masses for two years now, and I do not see the point, and I absolutely hate them and still would even if someone told me the point. They are not cute; they make you look ugly. And I know some girls are so beautiful, uglying up themselves is kind of cool because they still look stunning, but that does not take away from the fact that you have 1970's style child molester glasses on your face!
We are on Team Adam.
Posted by: Kim
As Jen pointed out to me, I am slacking on the blog. Big time. My excuses include: my laptop can't find the internet in my new roommate-less (!) apartment, and I suddenly work 80 hours a week. Eep.
But I'll try to be better.
So to break the slacking, but because I only have about 40 seconds of down time right now, here are Kim and Jen's thoughts, discussed via text, on last night's American Idol. A show that we now both watch. Sigh. Ugh.
Kim: "Um, I somehow forgot about Adam? And I love him."
Jen: "Yes, for the win! He's a bit sexy when he leers over the mic. Sigh."
Kim: "Aw, it's killing me! He's so happy! Awwwww!"
Jen: "I'm text voting for him. Also, Paula is insane."
Jen: "A(lexis) is so good too!"
Kim: "5711 VOTE"
Kim: "Yes, I like her too. I can't predict the top 4. Alexis, Adam, Alison, Matt, Danny, Lil? Some combo of them. Also, who is Kris, what? Pretty pretty princess. Want."
Jen: "I know! Where did he come from? Also want. Lucky wife, boo."
But really you should have ... heard ... us (texting) last week when Anoop made lucky #13. Eeee.
Although I might be kind of over him. Okay, not really. Bffl, Anoop!
People I AM over: Danny. Sorry. His voice is nice but I'm bored with him. Jorge. Less sorry.
People I was never on board with: Megan. I do not get? Other than being pretty, what? She ... can't carry a tune, even, it appears to me. And she said 'CAW CAW!' Also, Michael. Huh?
I can't believe I watch this, it's so dumb, really. Hence, total Team Adam. At least he's interesting and awesome, except he loses points for fleeing NYC for LA, obviously.
As Jen pointed out to me, I am slacking on the blog. Big time. My excuses include: my laptop can't find the internet in my new roommate-less (!) apartment, and I suddenly work 80 hours a week. Eep.
But I'll try to be better.
So to break the slacking, but because I only have about 40 seconds of down time right now, here are Kim and Jen's thoughts, discussed via text, on last night's American Idol. A show that we now both watch. Sigh. Ugh.
Kim: "Um, I somehow forgot about Adam? And I love him."
Jen: "Yes, for the win! He's a bit sexy when he leers over the mic. Sigh."
Kim: "Aw, it's killing me! He's so happy! Awwwww!"
Jen: "I'm text voting for him. Also, Paula is insane."
Jen: "A(lexis) is so good too!"
Kim: "5711 VOTE"
Kim: "Yes, I like her too. I can't predict the top 4. Alexis, Adam, Alison, Matt, Danny, Lil? Some combo of them. Also, who is Kris, what? Pretty pretty princess. Want."
Jen: "I know! Where did he come from? Also want. Lucky wife, boo."
But really you should have ... heard ... us (texting) last week when Anoop made lucky #13. Eeee.
Although I might be kind of over him. Okay, not really. Bffl, Anoop!
People I AM over: Danny. Sorry. His voice is nice but I'm bored with him. Jorge. Less sorry.
People I was never on board with: Megan. I do not get? Other than being pretty, what? She ... can't carry a tune, even, it appears to me. And she said 'CAW CAW!' Also, Michael. Huh?
I can't believe I watch this, it's so dumb, really. Hence, total Team Adam. At least he's interesting and awesome, except he loses points for fleeing NYC for LA, obviously.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Chuck To Friend: Are We Going Boating After The Game?
Posted by: Jen
Apparently Chuck is also laughing at his friend who chose to go sockless, in dress shoes, to the Knick's game, in New York, IN MARCH. Going sockless is a don't (and while appropriate in BOAT SHOES and boat shoes ONLY, I do not encourage wearing such a thing ever). So, total fail, sockless mystery dude.
Apparently Chuck is also laughing at his friend who chose to go sockless, in dress shoes, to the Knick's game, in New York, IN MARCH. Going sockless is a don't (and while appropriate in BOAT SHOES and boat shoes ONLY, I do not encourage wearing such a thing ever). So, total fail, sockless mystery dude.
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