Showing posts with label Bad Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Dreams. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

On Surviving An Emergency

Posted by: Kim and Jen


Jennifer: When I worked at that summer camp one summer during college, the head of the camp had like this THING about thunderstorms. Like, the minute there was a cloud in the sky she'd FREAK out and be like, "THUNDERSTORM! QUICK! EVERYONE INSIDE!" She was so freaky about it the little kids picked up on it and even the ones who weren't scared of storms became really frightened! It was bizarre.
Kim: i am mildly confused. so, they are telling us not to stand in a baseball field or next to a tree

Jennifer: oh that was my point.

Kim: so ... like if we must be outside, what IS preferred? in the bushes?

Jennifer: Obviously we learned thunderstorm safety at camp and you are NOT SUPPOSED to go under a tree! If anything, like if you have a choice between a tree and a field, you are supposed to
lie face down in the field.
Kim: NUH UH! i did not learn that, i just learned to get in the car because of the tires.

Jennifer: because it drastically reduces your chances of being hit!

Kim: hahahahahaha

Jennifer: and also, if you do get struck it hits you in the back, protecting your vital organs AND since your body is spread out it kind of spreads out the impact

Kim: lol, if you have the choice between tree or baseball field... amazing.
Jennifer: yeah, I learned that from Sandy, head camp mistress extraordinaire.
Kim: that is all excellent advice.
Jennifer: no, she was insane.

Kim: i would have a real problem with lying face down in a baseball field whilst lighting flashed all around me though, not gonna lie.

Jennifer: lol exactly, I'd take my chances and run!

Kim: that's kind of like how they are like, if you fall onto the subway tracks, do not move. Just calmly wait away from the electric rail as the train passes.

Jennifer: Umm if I fell in the track I would climb out immediately if the train wasn't coming...
Kim: i know! And if the train was coming, i would immediately die. Of terror. So.
Jennifer:
well then you'd die anyway of train so it wouldn't matter.

Kim: well i suppose you could hang out in the little gravel pit alongside it and hope for no sparks or shrapnel or off-tracking.

Jennifer: I would lie down in the middle I think.

Kim: WHAT!

Jennifer: because it would probably go over you; that's how people have lived before!

Kim: IT WOULD NOT.
i think i would fare best in emergency situations on boats or airplanes, because on the plane when they are like, 'please secure your own oxygen mask before helping any elders or infants' i am like, duh. And on a boat, well, i don't know... i am a fast swimmer but whine in cold water so i might be screwed.
Oh, if i were in a car and it fell in water, omg. i mean, i know you are supposed to calmly stay put and let the car fill up with water so that you may easily open the door once equilibrium is attained. But LIKE HELL.

That reminds me I need to start keeping a baseball bat on me at all times.

Jennifer: you could also kick out the windshield pretty easily pre-sinkage, Oprah said so.
Kim: maybe you could? of course, i would be trapped by my seat belt with two broken ankles or whatever.

Jennifer: good thing you don't need ankles to swim!

Kim: this does not mean i condone not wearing seat belts. Also how much would it suck if you fell in the water, and then waited for the car to fill, all while sinking, and then got out and a shark ate you?
That would also happen to me.

Jennifer: ok well, we don't live near sharks, so it's fine. I would worry more about letting the car fill and then not being able to get out.

Kim: i live near so many sharks.

Jennifer: there are no sharks in MA! Are there?

Kim: of course! i mean, they PREFER a warmer climate, but they are here... Did you not see JAWS?
Jennifer: My point was Jaws too actually; I was going to go, "Jaws was fake!"

Kim: there was a great white swimming around in shallow water for weeks on the cape within the past few summers, and the lifeguards do drills. Rarely, but they do them. Those were like, petrifying as a child.

Monday, December 8, 2008

On Severe Regret...

Posted by: Jen

Ok, so every now and then I get the urge to chop off my hair, do so, severely regret it, swear to never do it again, grow it out happily for two years and then repeat the agonizing process for some reason. You'd think I'd learn but I DO NOT. Anyway, the latest incarnation of hair mistake is a long bob that makes me look like I am 8. My hair is way to thick and wavy to pull this off and I am seriously depressed. I am considering going back to get it fixed but I do not know how it would be fixed and it's either that or let it grow and look shitty for three months. This is the worst thing ever.

Chris: i saw your facebook status, you're not happy?
Jennifer: no I hate it
Chris: maybe you can use this as a fancy fun hat stage
Jennifer: no, it's the bottom that I don't like... my bangs are fine
Chris: the bottom ? the back?
Jennifer: like the sides and everything
it's just stupid, and I really hate it
Chris: you took a risk though and that's cool, i'm sure its not nearly as bad as you think
Jennifer: yay I am cool for a risk! I can tell people that.
"excuse my hair, I know I look like shit, but please realize I am cool for it!!!"
Chris: should i walk up stairs and look or would you rather no one looked at you right now
Jennifer: I'm hiding and I don't want to talk about it because I will cry
seriously, I'm going to like, pee in the trashcan or something, whenever I have to go
Chris: well did you at least do something fun this weekend to make up for it
Jennifer: yeah but I didn't have as much fun as I would have if I had long hair

Friday, November 21, 2008

OMG This Dog Will Haunt My Dreams!

Posted by: Jen

AHHHHHHHHHH!

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!

I don't normally remember my dreams, or even have nightmares, and I am so glad because I know that this thing is what would be chasing me! HIS EYES ARE BURNING INTO MY SOUL!

Actually I don't even know if he HAS eyes; they just look like evil evil soul sucking cavities of evil. Who would have thought that such a creature with
remarkable Heidi-like hair could be so scary?

You know how people are always like "If I were an animal what would I be?" (ok, maybe not "always like", but you know). Well I guess we now have the answer for Heidi. I'd probably be a spider monkey or an otter, just to let you know. Now please feel free to go back to being TERRIFIED.