Whitney Offends Me

Posted by: Jen

I will give you all a moment to reflect upon the image below, and remember before you stare too hard: things that are seen cannot be un-seen.

You've been warned.


So, like, what the fuck Whitney? You move to NY and live "downtown" (which is really uptown) and really, really need to prove that you are not that bland blond CA girl? And you've decided to do this in the most ridiculously ugly way possible by draping yourself in the leftover wardrobe from Flash Dance while wearing (sooooo summer 2007, btw, if you care) neon nerd glasses?* Gah, you make me so mad. So mad. And your stupid MATCHING pink nylon bag, WHY?!?! Please just get over yourself and go back to wearing Tory Burch flats and peasant tops and stop designing because it suuuuuccckkksss (really, you don't hold a candle to Bilson or even LC) and move back to LA, because that look is really just LA trying to be NY and it's kind of sad.

*Digression: What is the point of the stupid nerd glasses? They have been uglying up the faces of Brooklyn's masses for two years now, and I do not see the point, and I absolutely hate them and still would even if someone told me the point. They are not cute; they make you look ugly. And I know some girls are so beautiful, uglying up themselves is kind of cool because they still look stunning, but that does not take away from the fact that you have 1970's style child molester glasses on your face!

Random American Idol Observation...

Posted by: Jen

So I was watching American Idol because as mentioned, I don't have cable, and because 90210 was a repeat (DAMN YOU! CW, wtf is this with all of these mid-season hiatuses? Even One Tree Hill was a repeat last night, gooddddddddd), and I noticed that upon reaching the Hollywood stage, the majority of the male contestants acquire a faux-hawk. What is this? What is the point? I mean, does it make the air around your head flow better, thus enhancing your voice? Combine that with the seemingly popular white button-down shirt enhanced with tribal/dragon design on the back (added points for down the sleeve) and you have quite the shit show. Sigh, but I suppose we can just attribute it to my whole "you lose your mind/fashion sense upon entering the city limits of L.A." theory, which is growing in evidence every day.

BTW, I voted for Alexis because she can sing, Anoop because I want to be his friend and Danny because his wife died. Clearly the fact that this is a singing competition has been pretty much lost on me.

Spring = Flowers and Headbands. Well. Who Am I To Disagree, Actually?

Posted by: Kim
(... ... where are the colors? I am supposed to be pink.)



So, while I was watching Boston get all massacred last night, apparently Lauren Conrad was showing her Fall '09 line at something called 'LA Fashion Week' (oxymoron, y/n/maybe?). I cannot find any photos from the show, but according to the comments on the Fug Girls' article about the affair, it included flowers and headbands. You'd think I'd be intrigued, but, I'm still put off by her 'designs' up until now including jerseys, and ... jerseys. And jerseys.

Apparently she and Heidi may or may not have made up, though! And it sounds like this mystifying 'LA Fashion Week' is just as glamorous and prestigious as you'd expect, complete with dumpsters, reality tv guest lists, and, you know, less-than-designers. Read about it here!

But Lauren did wear the above, and looked very pretty. The flower-child May Day pagan-ista headband is at least slightly less obnoxious than the similar ones the All-Bright hipsters have been sporting with their American Apparel dresses, so, there is that.

LA keeps it classy. Not. Shocker.

Posted by: Kim


(I wanted to totally rip off Boston.com and use "Halo, goodbye" as my title because it is AWESOME, but, I used to write headlines for a living - no, seriously - and I just couldn't do it to the brilliant copy editor who coined that.)

So the Sox are going to the ALCS! Whoo! Yay! I love this team! I mean, I always love the team, but I really love this team! As fun as the '04 idiots were, that shtick was done being cute pretty quickly, and it's been a blast watching this group of professionals overcome so many injuries/shocking trades/unexpected brilliance exploding out of Tampa/etc. and storm the postseason again. AND JASON BAY! I promise I'm not talking like some bitter ex-fan-now-Manny-hater, but, seriously. What a role to walk into, and what a way to fill it, and all the while with an air of complete grace and dedication and hilarious cleanliness (is that just me? His uniform stays. So. Clean.). Omg, Sox, just, win it all for Jason Bay. And Jon Lester. I can't decide which story is better. (Okay, so it's Lester's. Tugs at the heartstrings and all that.)

Anyway, the Angels ... of Los Angeles ... of Anaheim ... the winged representatives of La-La Land and Disneyland ... whatever ... that left coast team that used to be one of my favorites ... did sort of help out by committing a lot of baseball suicide, for which, hey, thanks! And then they warmly congratulated Boston on games well played.

Or not.

Via the LA Times (story here):

"We lost to a team that's not better than us," growled pitcher John Lackey, who gave up two runs and seven hits in seven innings. "We are a better team than they are. The last two days, we shouldn't have given up anything."

"[Sunday] night they scored three runs on a pop fly that was called a hit, which was a joke," Lackey said, referring to Ellsbury's pop that fell between center fielder Torii Hunter and second baseman Howie Kendrick in Game 3.

"[Monday] night they scored on a broken-bat ground ball and a fly ball that anywhere else in America is an out, and he's fist-pumping on second base like he did something great."

Asked to describe his feelings, Lackey said, "Like I want to throw somebody through a wall."

"I'm [ticked], I'm upset, this one's going to be with me for a while," Hunter said. "It doesn't feel good, because we're a better team than they are. But they're moving on."

Dear Angels:

Yes, you dominated the Red Sox in the regular season. Yes, you are 100-game winners. Yes, you cake-walked all over your cupcake AL West division (sorry, couldn't resist, but, dude. The Mariners.). I wasn't going to be one to take any of that away from you, but, bratty much?

Of note, Mr. Lackey: When players fail to catch a pop and it therefore lands on the ground in fair outfield territory, it is a hit. Duh. I mean, you don't even need a rule book for that one. If you're talking that crazy infield fly rule, it doesn't apply here, clearly. If you thought it should be an error on your fielders, well, what error? They didn't do anything. That was the problem, but, also, sorry. Their problem. Your problem. Ellsbury's hit.

Also, re: "[Monday] night they scored on a broken-bat ground ball and a fly ball that anywhere else in America is an out, and he's fist-pumping on second base like he did something great."

Um. What? Now you are angry because of the ballpark dimensions? Because they were not built in favor of your personal preference as to how far batters drive your pitches? I don't know. Pitch better then. Know the park. Know what you have to do. Forget the 'if we were playing somewhere else' crap. You weren't. If you were so much better in the first place, shouldn't you have beaten them anywhere, then? Or maybe you should have tossed your awesomeness all over Angel Stadium or whatever the hell it's called these days and, you know, won Games 1 & 2 so you wouldn't have to be forced to lower yourself to playing in a ballpark with such unacceptable dimensions during a must-win moment or make yourself look like an ass because you're whining about how the little guy crushed the curve you delivered right up in the zone for him.

ALSO. Re: Fist-pumping. Excuse him for ... being excited? A double off the wall at a clutch moment is a pretty great way to break your slump, especially in a Division Series game. And come on now, we're all used to a certain team's prized closer shrieking absurdly and blowing kisses at god after every save like he just won the World Series. I'll give you a hint: It's not Papelbon. Clearly your emotions runneth over during this interview. Let's not fault Pedroia for a fist-pump, please.

Love,
Kim

And now I will leave everyone with some fun pictures of nice boys playing in champagne. I guarantee nothing, but I'm fairly certain had this series gone the other way, not one of them would have reacted so ... ugh.




P.S. My favorite AL West team is the A's.
P.P.S. I'm still mildly petrified of the Rays. Wtf?