I Remain Firmly Aboard The Adam Train, Thx.

Posted by: Kim

I did not watch American Idol last night, because it was St. Patrick's Day and I was busy and also I think I'm kind of over watching it in general, because, as I discussed with Jen, the only thing you can even watch on it is Adam because it's really just people standing around singing cover songs and that's only fun when it's people you know or they are crazy fucking awesome scary insane like Adam Lambert. So.

Anyway, though, I wasn't sad because I heard it was Grand Old Opry week anyway, and I sort of hate to be one of those people who's all, "I hate country music!" because I think the people who feel the need to profess that usually have kind of crap taste in music, but I sort of do hate most country music that's not like Patsy Cline or Ryan Adams (who's borderline even at his most country anyway), so, yeah, I like really just did not care to hear Danny Gokey sing The Dance or whatever the fuck stupid song he picked, thanks.

So then I got to work this morning and my co-worker Amy and I were listening to some popular radio station that plays stuff I recognize but couldn't name and also sometimes has this spectacular 80's hour where they play allllll my karaoke signatures, and then all of a sudden this insane version of Ring of Fire came on. Like it sounded like Jeff Buckley and Thom Yorke had a baby in India and it started crying and burning and wailing and fucking being awesome and terrifying all over everyone's face.

And Amy and I were simultaneously like, "HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE! ALSO I'M SO CONFUSED AND SCARED! BUT PSYCHED ABOUT IT!"

Yeah, so obviously it was Adam Lambert's performance from last night, and so the radio dudes immediately are like AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS TEH WORST THING EVAR! And Amy and I are like, oh, back up the bus. Here it comes: "How dare you, 1) Touch a Johnny Cash song! and 2) Sing it different than he did!!!!"

So obviously that's exactly what they screamed about for a while, as Amy's like, "but it was so awesome though!" and I'm all, "But I think Johnny Cash would have died in a good way if he saw that, like Johnny Cash was a crazy motherfucker with a sick sense of humor and he totally would have loved Adam Lambert going all sparkly gay vampire psycho goth theatre boi on Ring of Fire, I swear! And if it's good enough for him, why can't the rest of the world get over the stupid Walk the Line movie already, christ!"

We proceeded to immediately youtube it and then totally died. Okay, cause first of all, it was so great when Ryan was all, "So, Adam, are you going to turn in a restrained, country style performance tonight?" and Adam was totally just like, dude, no, what, and also, heehee. And then Randy Travis was so scared of him! OMG. So funny. And sad and pathetic. But mostly funny.

And then! AND THEN! Like, okay. I will admit, I was ... uncomfortable? It was just so weird to watch, like, dude has a sick voice, clearly, so on the radio it was just like, omg eerie and amazing and somehow beautiful and scary at once! But on screen it was like you had to look away but you couldn't look away and then he was doing the vampire eye thing and really, really thinking about taking his clothes off and the burns burns burns, like, I couldn't handle it and I sort of totally got what Simon said about people throwing their televisions out the window because I kind of wanted to do so with my computer, but not because I thought the performance was blasphemous and terrible like Simon was saying we should think, but because I couldn't stand watching it. In a good way. And a scared, confused way. Like when I go to an Adam Lambert concert, for which I will totally buy advance tickets, someone will probably need to hold my hand because of sensory overload and panic and I will love every second.

Also, he should absolutely win this show if this stage in the competition is an indication, because we then went on to watch other selected performances and of other people I like (Alexis) I have to say: That was it? You sang Jolene, and you have that voice, and that is all you turned in? I mean, I hope for her sake most of her fans don't know and love the song, because that song is incredible and she was like a bored karaoke singer at best. And I'm not trying to contradict myself here and say she should have sang it like Dolly Parton, I mean, if she wanted to sing it Adam Lambert sparkle-scary style with some sitars or whatever the Alexis Grace equivalent to that would be and rocked the hell out of it, I could have got behind that. What I am saying is that that song is way, way too powerful and emotional for what she did. I have heard far superior performances of that song by people with far less vocal talent than Alexis, honestly.

And as far as Kris, who the judges collectively creamed themselves over ... I liked it fine. I would listen to that on the radio, if Kris were singing it. Or Jason Mraz. Whoever. You know. Someone whose album I would not buy and who I would never pay a Live Nation fee to see in concert no matter how cute he is or how nice and relaxing and lovely his voice is to listen to.

AND, as far as Matt (who the judges REALLY creamed themselves over) goes: See exhibit: Kris. Except Matt was way better than hime this time, and I think he (Matt) actually is a little underrated so I am glad he is getting attention now, but I would really like to see him bust something open cause I think he can do it and I just don't get why he hasn't yet.

Oh, and Anoop finally sang pretty! But, that was kind of it.

So, moral of the post, if I had voted, it still would have been for Adam.