Sick Day!

Posted by: Jen

Today I am home sick with the plague. Well, not really the plague, but something I probably picked up on the bus. It started with a headache on Monday and ended with me waking up this morning in a puddle of sweat sounding like Patty and Selma.

I hate calling in sick. Not because I am dedicated to my job or even really care, but rather because we don't have sick time or vacation time, just "time off". Use it how you want. I'd rather sniffle at my desk than cut a day out of my vacation.

But, the idea of standing up in the shower and washing my hair just seemed too hard so I sent a text to my boss and went back to sleep.

I woke up two hours later feeling worse, so I guess it was a good call to stay home. I began to psych myself up for the trip outside to pick up the essentials: medicine, coffee, and juice. I live on the fifth floor of a five floor walk-up and in the ghetto where Duane Reade and Starbucks do not venture, so it seemed particularly awful and complicated.

Finally after putting on a hoodie, taking a break, putting on pants, taking a break, and putting on Converse, I said goodbye to Gracie the Wonder Cat and went outside.

First stop was the ghetto pharmacy two doors down that has been around for a while but is never open for some reason. I always assumed it was like a cover for drug dealing or funding terrorism, but it is actually a drug store. And it was open! And all of the medicine is behind the counter so you have to ask! Good thing I wasn't asking for anything embarrassing!

I needed Sudafed or something like it, but they regulate that shit hardcore in NY because you can make Meth out of it. Like, they make you fill out a form with your name and address and subject you to a lie detector test* and a full body cavity search**. Also, I hadn't brushed my hair so obviously I looked like a total junkie, and I worried that the person selling it to me would think I have a mini-Meth lab going on in my apartment.

I stood there patiently for a few minutes, trying not to sit down from exhaustion waiting to ask for my delicious delicious medication while the customer in front of me tried to finagle more pills than were in his prescription from a very unsympathetic pharmacist. Finally, another nice man behind the counter asked me what I needed and I made my request, bracing myself, waiting for him to give me the look that said "That is the face of Meth!"

Instead he looked confused because he couldn't find it.

Jen: "It's usually in the purple box..."
Man: Hands Jen a box that is purple

Turns out, the random purple box was cold medicine so who am I to complain? I bought it. And when I pulled out my wallet the guy harassing the other pharmacist for pills totally eyed it. I figured that if he tried to rob me I would just lick him and contaminate him and that would be confusing and SO SCARY (germs can be scary) and I could flee in the chaos. Luckily it didn't come to that.

True story: whenever I am sick I like to threaten people who are mean to me with that I will lick them, so consider yourselves warned. Luckily I am in a good mood now because whatever this cold medicine is, it is AWESOME and probably a lot better than Meth.


*I am lying
** I am lying again