'Oh, a dinner party! That's so New York!'

Posted by: Kim

Last night I drank a vodka soda immediately after working out, and, hey, guess what happens when you do that? Severely. Wasted. But I actually didn't do anything overly stupid once Severely Wasted (I managed to complete that daily requirement at the gym, actually, when I was That Girl who malfunctioned on the treadmill - note I did not say on a malfunctioning treadmill - who somehow went from running to, you know, sort of on the ground. Oh, shoelaces, you are diabolical).

No, no. I just somehow convinced the cute boy ... er, man ... boy ... man ... that I probably have a giant crush on that we should catch up on (read: start watching) The City.

Cut to me, still in my gym clothes and sweaty ponytail and drunk face, 20 minutes later, tirading around my living room. Like we're talking obscene hand gestures, and fluctuating intonation due to intense rage.

Jen warned me that this would happen, but I refused to listen, because, see, I like Whitney Port. Well, I liked her on The Hills, anyway, cause she was sort of the voice of reason amidst the mindsuck, the one person with ambition in the middle of the vacuous hole of 'life' they were projecting to be what LA is all about. Of course, with The Hills I just totally bought it and adored it, in that way that anyone from/living in/having lived in/who prefers New York, etc., would, because, as that Sex and the City episode taught us, we are preconditioned to hate LA. But of course, like the same episode taught us, we are wrong in doing so for a number of reasons, all largely relating to the weather. But when it comes down to it, we still believe the myths. Not the myths Angelinos themselves think the rest of the world believes (you know, that they are all beautiful and rich and glam and celebrities) but the myths that they're all tacky and new money and vapid and annoying. You know, it's totally not fair, in all likelihood. But The Hills totally plays it up, and the nation totally eats it up.

So of course I was like, well, good thing they can't portray New York shittily. It's impossible! New York will beat even the most contrived of life manipulations and MTV-approved stereotypes! It's NEW YORK.

And well. New York looks great. The fashion is better (no thanks to Whitney, actually, who, as Jen has noted, somehow managed to lose the fashions sense she inexplicably had in LA when she moved to a place where people actually know what's up, but thanks to the fact that she works at DVF so we're treated to runway shows pretty often, and because Erin and Olivia do the respective hipster/socialite looks well), the music is the same, the boys are just as douchey but cooler, and the real estate is remarkably similar despite the fact that, hi, that's sort of impossible, but whatevs.

But omg, The City. You lost me at dinner parties being 'so New York' and then you buried me when, immediately after hammering home what is apparently going to be the show's niche, the 'Uptown vs. Downtown' thing (I mean, hi, see Gossip Girl, and it's Manhattan vs. Brooklyn, kthxbye), and then having uptown princess Olivia throw her New York-style dinner party at her penthouse apartment ... in Tribeca. Uh. I mean, yes, the line between Tribeca and say, Gramercy Park, or Soho, is evident. But Tribeca also isn't uptown, like, in any sense of word/location/behavior, but I guess they're going with its proximity to the Meatpacking District and how that's the trendiest and sparkliest and fashionyest and all those down and dirty Downtown hipsters are gonna be hanging exclusively at 151 sporting blunt bangs and lots of plaid and leggings, while the Uptown crowd lives at Tenjune, and, oh, hey! They're at Tenjune. Shocker.

Okay, but the kids of art dealers bit was hilarious, as was Olivia and what a bitch she is in general. Especially talking about her cotillion and Manolos, like, omfg. Also they do a good job of showing that Whitney really might be too naive for New York, although the subsequent throwdown between men over her affections is really pretty New Jersey of them, but, eh, one's Australian and the other's from, I don't know, California or Texas or something, so, sure.

I'm probably going to watch this religiously and fly into fits of rage on a weekly basis, now. But at least it's making me sit back and take a look at what MTV can do to stereotype your entire city and make it look like it's full of idiots, and so now I should take back some of my preconceived notions about LA, largely drawn from The Hills. Except, I won't.

When is Lauren coming to The City?

Whitney Port Shows She Has Learned Nothing From Diane, New York, Part 2: An Analysis of The Hills Finale Party

Posted by: Jen

So The Hills season finale was last night and all of the LA people were not surprisingly, really stupid and left the warm goodness of SoCal and came to frozen New York. Anyway, I don't watch the show because I don't have cable (I really do miss the Saturday all day marathons when I am hungover and have to watch PBS), but I did notice a few things about our favorite totally real people who happen to have a tv show:

1. Whitney Port has apparently proven that NY drugs are way harder than the kind found in LA. Case in point:

Like, WTF is this? Did she rob Stevie Nicks AND a Hawaiian Tropic girl on the way to the party? In her NY hard drug fueled euphoria did she craft a stolen lei from said Hawaiian Tropic girl into a seriously bad headband? People, this is a woman who has her own clothing line and "WORKS" in fashion. I gag. And Diane probably threw up all over herself when she saw the photos this morning.

2. I love Lauren's dress!

Sparkly! Simple! Well played! If I could fix ONE thing about this, it would be to tell L to stop doing her stupid "I'm a little teapot pose." Seriously, think of something else. Now every one laugh at how deranged/goofy Whitney looks next to Lauren!

3. What recession?

Lauren's Philip Lim dress costs $925 dollars AND IS SOLD OUT in most sizes! Really? Now I'm sad because I can't buy it even if I could afford it. Or wanted to spend what I pay for rent on a dress. Oh also, if you have a couple grand left after you buy your beautious PL sparkly wonder dress, Net-A-Porter suggests you pair it with some Louboutins and a Jimmy Choo clutch. I say, if we're all going to the breadline, we might as well look fabulous!*

* J/K, J/K, J/K FOR REAL.

GIVE IT TO ME!

Posted by: Jen

So you'd think Whitney Port would take a look at Diane von Furstenberg's Pre-Fall collection (Pre-fall? Really? Like am I supposed to want this in August '09? Because if I got the collection for xmas I would wear it every day.) and suddenly know how to dress herself. But she does not, and will probably continue to not take the example of the PURE GENIUS that is Diane!

An amazing party dress? Count me in! Throw a long cardigan over that and wear it to work... At least once a week for a year to justify the cost!

I drool. I know it's simple, but simple is best: a great color and you know that fabric would fall perfectly. I would jazz it up with some gold jewelry but Kim could also wear it with a string of long pearls! We'd both look fabuloussssssss.

Oh hello! I would wear this while having some type of adventure on a slightly gray day in Paris. Chocolate croissants would be eaten and it would involve a motorcycle ride. NEED IT.

You can see the rest of it here: http://fabsugar.com/slideshow/2572932

Whitney Port Shows She Has Learned Nothing From Diane, New York

Posted by: Jen

Oh look everyone, Whitney was back in LA yesterday looking like... Oh I don't even know, HELL? I was trying to think of something funny and it involved the phrase "80's puking up all over her" but JESUS, this is no time to be funny. Whitney, I liked you better before when you were well dressed and uninteresting. Now you're poorly dressed and uninteresting, well done. What would Diane say? What would Lauren say? Please tell me this is for Halloween and you are going as Vito, the kid from my Jr. High that thought he was super cool and everyone jokingly voted in as School Spirit Club leader, because he dressed like this every day and it wasn't even cool in 1994.

More from Fashion Week!

Posted by: Kim

Jen brought you Carolina Herrera, who, as noted, executed flawlessly for Spring '09 (my personal fave is the following red party dress, which I'd pretty much wear everywhere, for everything, and starve myself to continue fitting into for the rest of my life).


Today I bring you my girl Diane (von Furstenberg, if you're new), who brought dresses, and brought them big time. Colors! Girly! Girly! Love!

http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/S2009RTW-DVFURSTE?viewall=true


(Jen, will you wear this to my DVF-themed birthday party? I would, but I'd look dumb in it.)

(I'll wear this one, providing I don't look too short. We can skip the Indian princess headbands.)