Linking Directly To Gawker Is Cheap, But...

Posted by: Jen

Oh god, this is just too good to pass up: http://gawker.com/5126704/the-citys-secretly-trashy-nevan-tried-to-swap-drugs-for-a-blow-job

Obviously I totally refuse to watch this show, and am still a little perplexed at the fake geography that Kim tried to explain to me earlier today*, but it seems as if Olivia's "classy" uptown friends are actually pretty trashy. Oh also, don't worry Whitney, I met tons of douche-y guys my first year in the city and after a while you get smart and learn how to spot them, despite what your fake socialite friends are saying. It might take you a little longer than it did me (like your entire life).

*Kim explains The City's new NYC geography:

Jennifer: Uptown vs. Downtown?
really really?
Kim: omg, Jen. yes, really.
Jennifer: they are fucking stupid!
I had to swear to show my disgust
Kim: but they all dont go north of Canal Street, like, ever.
Jennifer: is that even a real thing? Have I just never heard of this? Too bad W works on 14th street... is she ok up there?
Kim: oh, yes. because that is "Uptown"
Jennifer: also, all of the clubs they prob go to are in Meatpacking/Chelsea, right? Where is that?
Kim: Uptown
Tribeca/Meatpacking = Uptown. Seriously.
I'm like, dude, Olivia eats at Sarabeth's and lives on 5th! COME ON.
Like they want to do Uptown/Downtown, but the socialites refuse to look stuffy and untrendy, so they have equated Tenjune with Uptown. And Gramercy Park with Downtown.
Jennifer: all of the boys in the promo pictures look like they are from Hoboken!
Kim: lol, yes. The boys are just as trashy as The Hills ones: there's the musclebound one and the dirty rocker, and then the "Uptown boys" are gay. And ugly.
Jennifer: there has actually been a lot of shit talking on Page 6 about that show -- they hate them too, so that's good.
Kim: I was like, no no no. I mean, they are right that some people are snotty and socialites are prob bitchy, but it's present so ... Hills-like. and contrived.
Jennifer: Olivia is a BAD socialite though! She isn't even a real one, she tried to be!
Kim: like they keep being like, 'DONT LET WHITNEY GET CAUGHT UP WITH THE DOWNTOWN CROWD!'
and I'm like, oh, no, why? She might hang out with an NYU grad and listen to some shitty music? who cares?
Jennifer: Question, if 14th street is Uptown and SoHo is Downtown and clearly they don't go to the Financial district, then where exactly do I live?
Kim: Upstate.
Yes, New York has been shrunk so much to include a 12-block radius, it seems.
No wonder they only went to one club in LA. they don't like to take into account the fact that cities have actual neighborhoods.
Jennifer: Do they ride the train?
Kim: no. they walk.
duh. it's East Village to West, nbd.
Jennifer: I guess if they can't leave those 15 blocks there isn't a point.
Kim: It's not like they go far: work at DVF, eat at Nero, go to Tenjune.
Then hop over to Gramercy to visit Erin the Downtown Friend.
lol
Jennifer: But Gramercy is "Uptown", like above 14th... How is she downtown?
Kim: NO IT ISN'T WATCH THE SHOW JEN.
Jennifer: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAAAAAAAAA
Kim: Um, NYU is cool like Downtown Jen, deal with it. Tt really has nothing to do with location whatsoever.
Jennifer: oh ok, so it's a state of mind, not a geographical location.

WHAT.

Posted by: Kim


American Girl is RETIRING SAMANTHA PARKINGTON! My first style icon ever! The one whose influence resulted in me prancing around pretending I was a poor little Victorian rich girl for years of my youth while my parents patiently explained to me that the women's suffrage movement was no longer of issue!

Apparently all the 21st-Century dolls they've come out with are making the classic originals null and void? W.T.F. I am really losing faith in the world. Aren't American Girls supposed to be about the history? And now they TAKE AWAY SAMANTHA?! SHE IS THE BEST ONE! God. And, as an added un-bonus, this means Nellie will be retired too!

Whatever. My Samantha doll is having a grand old time in my parents' basement with my sister's Kirsten doll, I'm sure, but I pity the youth of the future who are going to be stuck with all the stupid new dolls.

What's next? GG retires Blair Waldorf?

Disgusted disgusted disgusted.