Oh. Of Course.

Posted by: Jen

There is a blind guy on American Idol right now. And he can sing, and the judges love him (though, can you be mean to a blind person? I don't know. Once I helped a blind lady on the bus from Boston to NY and "helping" was actually more like being her slave, but I took it, even after she screwed me on cab fare, because hey, she couldn't see. I also continually made a jackass out of myself by making brilliant statements such as, "look out!" or "it's over there" and pointing at things.). We all know that blindness beats a dead wife any day, just saying.

There Are So Many Things Wrong With The World And CNN Has To Bring Ponies Into It

Posted by: Jen

So I log on to CNN this morning to check the news, and the above image is a screen cap of the headlines. Let's break this down because I haven't had my coffee and I may be feeling more senistive than usual due to my three day hangover.

1. Will racial 'Bradley effect' hurt Obama? -- Like who does that? Ok, so voters don't want to seem racist, even though they are, so they lie upon leaving the polls about who they voted for? Okay, rational first: you can tell the truth without saying why. However, I know that it is more embarassing to admit that you voted for Crankypants and Girl Genius than it is to admit you are racist, so whatever.

2. Vote for Piper's mom, Palin girl urges -- No wait, WAIT. Everyone vote for my dad instead.

3. Puppy stays in Iraq, Army tells soldier -- FOR REAL? A nice Sergeant rescues a dog and then the Army refuses to let her take him home with her? Even though it is homeless now. Oh hey, awesome, glad to know they're totally cool with having you die for your country but not for having a dog. Priorities. They have them.

4. Ponies flee wind-fueled flames -- I'm glad they got away. But sad they lost their homes. I am inviting one homeless pony to come live with me in my studio. He can sleep in the bathtub and give me a ride to work.

5. Polar bear falls into zoo moat -- "A playful polar bear pawing at a toy lost his balance and slipped into a moat at the Milwaukee County Zoo." OH GODDDDDD! Luckily he is ok, but come on CNN, what is with that heart-tugging first sentence. It's like you want me to be depressed.

The Rest of The World Catches Up To What I SWEAR I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG ...

Posted by: Kim

Mondays are really NBD. It's Tuesdays that suck out your soul.

How the hell is it still Tuesday?

Currently using my lunch break to lie on the floor and drink a gallon of coffee.
Yes, I spiked it.