It's true, loyal readers, my car has been smushed and I have sexy sexy bruises covering the left side of my body ...
Just in time for my vacation to the beach!
If you know me, which would mean, amongst our readership, you are ... Jen ... you know I come from the beach. Thus I should probably not be quite so excited about vacationing at the beach.
But I am suckas, and I hope you all enjoy work Monday and Tuesday while I'm pretending to be rich and famous and straight up being fabulous!
My plan is to pen the glorious tale of the demise of The Silver Bullet (Of course my car had a name. Of course it had the same name has my vibrator. Hi mom.) and the Beginning Of The Rest of My Life, but, I'm not gonna lie to you ...
This is what's going on tonight, as I write three press releases and a newsletter on deadline, do laundry, and pack for said vacation (which does not kick in until I work half a day at the lovely day job tomorrow) ...
IS THIS NOT THE MOST AMAZING GIN BOTTLE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR GIN-GUZZLING LIFE?! It tastes pretty damn good as well. Citrusy and maybe a little ... flowery? In a good way.
Unfortunately as this post is probably now misleading you to believe, I am not spending my beach vacation in the Hamptons.
I am, after all, for a little while longer anyway, the Boston half of Team Kim & Jen. This means that the fair isle of Nantucket gets me in all my bruised glory on the beach for five days.
Here's a little secret: Nantucket kicks the Hamptons' ass any day!
Here's another: That's probably a lie.
I've never been to the Hamptons, but I'm pretty sure I would fit right in. I've got madras. I've got gin. I've got blonde hair buried somewhere under all the brunette dye I've been messing with. Someone, call me. Take me to your ... bungalow? Chuck?
Whatev. Nantucket rocks my face. I'll be back with red pants and Triple Eight vodka and someone's parents' pharmaceutical cabinet.
Here's to the summer! Happy 4th.
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